feeling lonely

[fear_inferi]

does anyone else find life at home lonely? Im married with no kids and although i do have friends i feel like we have not much in common anymore because of me being at home and them being at work/uni whatever

Comments

[pixelmonster]

My hubby and I were polyamorous before I was diagnosed so it's never been a problem for us, but I do have close emotional relationships with men other than my husband that have not gotten physical. I am also disabled and always at home so I do find myself prone to caring more than perhaps I should for those who I do spend time with and who visit me often, they like me too, but cannot deal with the fact I am married and I respect that, tho it dissapoints my hubby a little. However, my deepest emotional attachment are long-distance and with my first boyfriend from high school still. I am currently on flirting cease and desist as I am involved in too many close friendships and of course, a wonderful marriage!

[fear_inferi]

i will be honest and say i had to look for a definition of polyamorous because its a word i have never even heard before.
can you clarify for me, what disappoints your hubby? maybe im having a bad foggy day, is it that he would rather you cared less for these other friends?

[pixelmonster]

No, he is dissapointed that I am rejected simply because I am married, and sometimes it is b/c I am married to him and he is a large intimidating redhead, LOL!. He does not mind that I care for others at all. It makes him happy for me, and likewise I, for him.

[fear_inferi]

i have to say that as a concept i just dont understand. Obviously it works for alot of people but i dont think it would be for me, have you never had jealousy issues? never mind finding the time...

[pixelmonster]

Jealousy, certainly. (I hate when he steals my girlfriends, LOL!) I am prone to jealousy, hubby is incapable of feeling it.He has never been jealous and is happiest because he can share me and know I always come home to him and am committed to only him. It makes him happy to know he has a wife so loved and respected and wanted.

As for time, emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are very different things for us. We do not date others, we do not have secondaries or other lovers on a regular basis. I have fibro and we have a four yr old son, there's no time for actual romances.

We do have emotionally intimate relationships with others tho and while perhaps/hopefully mine may someday in the future turn physical as well, there is no jealousy as husband approves of my choice in the man and is cool with it. If he finds someone he wants to eventually bed, I will have the right to approve or veto it as well. It's not for everybody and there is jealousy, but only when there are group dynamics, which we avoid.

[brightlotusmoon]

My husband and I are just starting to explore polyamory with another married couple, our best friends. And we've found that having this close-knit emotional support group works well for helping me deal with my issues. He's happy with me being intimate with another woman (I'm bisexual) as long as he knows and nothing is hidden. I've found that having powerful emotional and physical connections to my most loved friends, alongside my husband, has definitely made me feel stronger about overcoming my pain and fatigue.

[pixelmonster]

It makes for a wonderful support network to have the ability to talk and cry on the shoulder of someone else other than your spouse. It also is good for growing closer with my hubby and we have full disclosure and honesty and complete trust. I was part of a quad with another couple (I am bi) in 2006 when I was first told I may have fibro by my girlfriend, who was a nueromusclar therapist and CMT who had to work on me a lot to help me not be in constant pain and who told me my pain was not normal, tho I thought it was.

[brightlotusmoon]

In the back of my mind, I think I've always been open to the possibility of polyamory and didn't realize it until I came out as bi. I am in love with my two best female friends and would have started relationships with them, except one has been living in New York City and just moved to Las Vegas, and the other has to first get over some issues in her marriage

[pixelmonster]

You summed it up in a big nutshell

[brightlotusmoon]

Thanks! I'll friend you right now. :)