THE FANDOM HIGHTIMES: SHINY AND LIGHT SPRING BREAK EDITION
RORY SPEAKS:
[Editor's note: Rory Speaks will not run this week as Rory seems to have been eaten by an allosaurus, or ran out of time or something. Column will return next issue.]
WEETINY TEACHERS!
by Alanna Trebond
Last April, Fandom students got the absolute embarrassment of turning into versions of their much younger selves. It’s about time the adults got a taste of the same. And two weekends ago, they did. The majority of all adults, teachers included, turned into adorable kids all under ten.
Of course, in the true Fandom fashion, their goal seemed to be to cause as much chaos as possible, especially those who had kids, or parents, on the island. But, as Sophomore Molly Hayes says "At least they didn't outnumber us." And the school is still standing, though there is a lot less spaghetti and candy left in the cupboards.
Plus, everyone now has excellent blackmail material. Don’t like your grade? Just remind your teacher about the time they begged you for a piggy-back ride or you had to tuck them in for a nap. Now…how soon can we see the photos and videos?
Just because there aren't any classes doesn't mean you can't learn things! You can go to the library or take apart machina or even learn some Al Bhed!! Here's some that you can start with!!
There are no classes this week; it's Spring Break!
Drana yna hu lmyccac drec faag; ed'c Cbnehk Pnayg!
I am [not] doing well in my classes.
E ys [hud] tuehk famm eh so lmyccac.
(That's so you can use whichever one is appropriate!!!)
The Al Bhed enjoy working with machines.
Dra Al Bhed ahzuo fungehk fedr machina.
Sand is very hard to remove from a clogged engine.
Cyht ec jano rynt du nasuja vnus y lmukkat ahkeha.
(Well, it is!!)
My roommate was bitten by a lichen!!
So nuussyda fyc peddah po y melrah!!
That's all for this week! Let me know if there's anything you'd like to say in Al Bhed! Caa oui haqd desa! (See you next time!)
ARIES (March 21-April 19):
You know just what you have to do to get this enterprise off the ground: keep practicing your levitation skills. Zany flashes of inspiration and unexpected combinations get the job done. And possibly land you in jail. [That's not really a success, then, is it? -R] The naysayers will have to eat their words when they see the results. Possibly literally. [I hope they fry them up first. -R]
TAURUS (April 20-May 20):
Yes, you're a love magnet, but it's important to place yourself in the right setting so you don't attract a bunch of duds. [That's just mean! -R] The stars emphasize quality over quantity. Sure, flirt it up, but only take the numbers of a few. ['A few'? These Taurus people sound kinda shady. -R]
GEMINI (May 21-June 21):
You just love playing devil's advocate, and you're great at it. May I recommend a visit to the Devil's Nest? [I've never been there, is it nice? -R] You know how to make people say 'I never thought of it that way!' while they run far, far away. Make sure everyone knows you're kidding so no feelings get hurt. [So, if I'm a Gemini, should I apologize for saying mean things about Taurus a second ago? -R]
CANCER (June 22-July 22):
You're feeling lovely, loquacious and extremely gregarious -- and loving it. You've also decided to start a partnership with your dictionary. [That'd be a weird relationship. -R] The people around you are almost loving it more. Except those who want to punch you. [I would avoid those ones, then. -R] Go ahead and do something extravagant, flashy and so not you. The more ridiculous, the better. And make sure that the Yearbook staff is around. [Actually, I want to see that. -R]
LEO (July 23-August 22):
Some mornings you bounce out of bed, ready for action -- or ready to create it, if necessary. [Is this another sex one? -R] Other mornings, you bounce out of bed and off of the ceiling. Everyone wants to be in on your plans right now. Or in your pants. [See, I knew it! -R] You've got the right stuff when it comes to getting the party started.
VIRGO (August 23-September 22):
A recipe for success is almost the same as a recipe for disaster, but with one key added ingredient: a positive outlook. Also? No explosives. [No way, explosives are essential. -R] Look upon everything you do as a learning experience and you can't go wrong. Ignore the large amounts of time you'll be spending in detention though. [Bring a book! -R]
LIBRA (September 23-October 22):
You might find more in common with another culture than you think, so let yourself explore any options that present themselves. Fandom is the perfect place for this. [Ask me about the Al Bhed! -R] Though you may not realize it now, you're on the verge of changing your life. For better or for worse. [Someone's getting MARRIED? -R]
SCORPIO (October 23 - November 21):
When it comes to relationships, you're thinking about what you truly want as opposed to what you've thought you wanted. [Huh? -R] Hopefully, the two are similar. Take your time before drawing any conclusions, and try to keep your sense of humor.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21):
You're all about getting out and having a good time. When you make it look like so much fun, you have no problem drawing dozens of willing cohorts who want to follow your madcap path. [I'm willing, invite me next time! -R] People love having you around. Just put down the dictionary. Or get together with a Cancer. [Rats, I'm a Gemini. -R]
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19):
Shake off that funk. Literally if needed. [Yuck. -R] The first step to dealing with your current mood is to acknowledge that it's there instead of ignoring it. That simple step will help immensely. Next, call a good friend and vent a little. Just make sure the friend is listening. You may need to tie them down for that to work. [That's not a very good friend, then. -R]
AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18):
You're tackling big questions about your place in this world, which leads you to rethink your aims when it comes to identity. [Nope, you're still you. -R] What do you really want? Is it the same as what you think you should want? [I'm getting deja vu here. -R]
PISCES (February 19-March 20):
This seems to be another situation your outsized expectations have created. If you're feeling more fizzle than sizzle, it's time to reevaluate what prospects you have. [What are they even talking about? -R] And stop using words such as 'fizzle' and 'sizzle.' [But they're fun to say. So are drizzle and ... what else rhymes? -R] Thank goodness you saw this now rather than later.
Coffee Pin-Up
credits:
editor: Rory Gilmore
words: Rikku, Alanna Trebond
pictures: The fabulous Chloe Sullivan, the humble Rory Gilmore, and the magnificent Google
coffee pin-up: http://www.wrbs.com/events/2006lavik/8876.jpg
