WTFH | Thursday | July 30
Toby: Dude, you kidnapped me for your radio show?
John: What can I say, I didn't feel like reading anything tonight.
Toby: ...So are you gonna like, kill me after?
John: I promise I won't kill you after.
Toby: Crossing your heart won't make me forget you're a vampire and you totes drink people like me for dinner.
John: But will it make you forget I lie, instead?
Toby: *gulps* Yes. Because this morning the dorms were totally filled with happiness and sunshine and not people thinking that like, all the awesomest people had died because that would never happen!
John: And you weren't singing Hannah Montana songs when I found you on the street.
Toby: I knew you knew that song!
John: *growls*
Gavin: John, thanks to your friend, every single person knows you know the Hannah Montana songs now. And here someone was saying I was the girl in this relationship. Next time, perhaps you could refrain from admitting what you listen to in the privacy of the room. I put up with it but I don't want people to know I put up with it.
Toby: I so knew it!
Gavin: *sighs* Here, let me help you while I'm here. I've had a long night and I need your hands on me. The school, today, was ripe with activity. As it always is. People seem to think that working during the day will make things better. Fraser was doing a perimeter sweep, Hannibal, which is a stupid name, was scavenging through the remains of the cabins.
*pause*
We did it there didn't we, John?
Anyway, Zack was making with the science in the lab and we do love our little nerd vampire. He keeps us from losing out on the nice things in life. Tyler joins him and they team up. Well, we should probably secure our things in case they blow something up that they're not supposed to. Raven was in the library and Alex was getting some sun. That's nice, Alex. You just relax and stay there and make it easy pickings for us.
Toby: He's hot, and dude, don't you like, burn up in the sun?
John: I see I picked a smart one.
Toby: I'd thank you but look at the wibbly squirrel! Aww, little buddy, I'll take your damp town notes, it's okay. *gasp* It seems Ronon found our very own Peter Parker's body and cut off his head? He and Anakin *sigh* talked about how they were gonna stop Zero from going after that icky Griff and then Parker and Zero came out and eww she wanted to see the dead body! And then Angela was all reading about being stuck in a bookstore during the day which had to be totes thrilling. The preserve was a good spot for Isabel and Irulan to go out and pick berries! Dude, I hope there's pie when I get back!
John: ...You think you're leaving?
Toby: I could tell Chuck something for you? Since it seems he was a little beat up after his fight with Peyton last night.
Gavin: John can tell Chuck something right now since he's probably listening. What is this mullet headed human even doing here? I feel like my IQ has dropped into the negatives ever since I got here.
John: I'm just glad to hear Chuck is getting his sunning time in while he still can.
Toby: Don't turn him like the victims Jen was looking for in the streets this morning. With any luck Triela and Karla found some stuff to help us in the clinic. But like, that's not gonna help Peter who Parker and Zero were still looking for? These notes are so out of order, OMM!
John: Dear pathetic human girls. Did you miss the part where the kid died and was eaten by a vampire? I know, new concept.
Gavin: It's the martyr complex. They go out there, pretend they're heroes and I'm sure someone will bang them when they get back to their hovels. Speaking of that, since Toby's doing most of your notes, you don't think you could do something better with your mouth, John? It has been a long night. Putting the fear of God into humans is such work.
John: I thought that was your job.
Toby: *excitedly* Someone's getting a job now?
John: Shh, pet. Not you.
Gavin: Down at town hall, we were rocking it like it was 1999. Shut up, John has Hannah Montana, I have Prince. In the personal rooms, I was resting and while the notes say John should come get me, I actually went and got him a little later. And I'll probably nail him again even later. Dinah came to tell Leto about how she killed Priestly. Dinah, congratulations. We hope he tasted good! Leto, of course, is just jealous. And probably hasn't been boned in awhile. Maybe he could hook up with the laundry dry! And two people who are not hooking up with laundry guy are Bel and Veronica because they're too busy doing each other. Practice safe sex, guys! Veneral disease is nothing to joke around about!
In the common area, Effy was playing with her lighter and I swear to God, she's going to set us all on fire someday, and Summer, in fact, tells her this. And then there's some bitchfighting as girls do but no girlkissing as they should be doing. Naomi was boring because she was reading, Rick wants to know if anybody wants to do something fun, and John over here was upset because Peyton was messing with his toy. Since it was a common room, I couldn't very well relax him right there but I did promise to find him a snack.
Bel and Tyler got into it over a girl and holy fuck guys, she's not worth it. Probably well used and worn. Give it a break. Sleep with each other. Less change of a disease. Effy and Bel spent some time eyefucking each other because Bel whipped out his fireballs. I'm bigger. I thought you should know that, Bel. Rick even asks Bel for help on his book. And what the fuck is everyone going to this Bel guy for? He's nothing special. Honestly.
Toby: He goes out in the daylight! He's a super vamp!
John: Or not a vamp at all. Two barely vamps, Dinah and Zack were bouncing like infant puppies at the idea of playing catch and bringing Pajamas cookies. Leto was on to something using shiny objects to get Zack's attention while Marshall continued to pray we'd all gone blind while he read Cosmo!Girl.
Toby: Ooh, think it's a new issue? I bet he got it off-island where, ohmigod, Sophie boldly hopes to go if Zoe lets her. Um, take me with you?
John: No. Ballet kept Kate from crying blood tears of boredom before stopping Leto who bitched at her for not finding herself some company for the day. It's really not difficult, Kate. I mean, if Rodney can manage a conversation about vampiric cleansing with Bones without getting himself staked, I think you can find someone to bug. Try Zack - Maron nearly had him looking out the window to see if the fog had stuck around.
Toby: Wouldn't that like, kill them?
John: ...Yes, Toby. Gavin, why don't we ever play in the basement? Veronica and Ned had creepy playtime this morning. Oooh, and Katchoo was playing with dismembered fingers and that had to be better than the lounge.
Toby: *shudders* Dudes, that is sick and I am so not reading anything involving creepy body parts
Gavin: And I think, instead of reading, I'm just going to...enjoy myself quietly with John over here. See if he can get through this radio broadcast without me making me squeak. He does squeak quite often, you know. Especially when I put my ton--
John: I'd apologize for Gavin's dirty mouth, but I happen to enjoy it at times. He and Peyton have a lot in common.
Toby: Okay, so normally? I might find this situation sort of hot. Tonight, not happening. OH LOOK, stuff happened at night back at the dorms and school! First, Nancy Kerrigan was protecting those stupid kids that keep going out and are totally gonna get Anakin's foot up their ass if they run into vamps like Effy while they're being stupid. And wow, he totally meant people like Alex who nearly got conned into thinking the not-puppy Zack was a weak student. At least he like, broke his teeth?
Oh, there was bantering between Isabel and Veronica while Meg tried to use the lockers as a nail file until Max got to hear about how she likes to play 'Pretend to be Jo' and HEY that is so not a nice game! Tahiri and Tyler talk about how useful hate is and how fun we humans are which, okay is a lie, but dammit, stop just eating my people! And then adorable Ben is all disapproving of her and there might be swords drawn on this one unlike where there's just a lot of Piper being tired when Liir starts monologuing at her about pain and torture which is not the way to a woman's heart, FYI, kind of like how you should not have mentioned death or I totes would've slept with you the other night. Whatevs. *sigh*
John: Get on with the town already! If I have to read about the epic struggle of good Ray versus evil Fraser at the trooper station you'd bet--
Toby: SHH SHH! OHMIGOD! Jack and Naomi are onna daaaaaate! I so ship them, in every reality, even if they are bloodsuckers. Um, not that bloodsuckers don't rock! Oh look, Chuck went for a patrol and Edward attacked...with a kitten. Um, stop looking at me like that, Gavin, I can't help that Chuck is all over these notes with his hot scar and...isn't that his scarf?
John: I won it, completely fair and square considering his state at the time.
Toby: Not asking. So Raven was patrolling and ended up having an empath fight with Max and then Cable showed up and got greeted by Eliza with fangs and fists. Liir and Kate are hunting - people not teal deer.
John: They should consider sneaking up on people like Irulan did to Hannibal down by the theater. Or like Dinah did to Triela and Karla while they were looking for supplies in the clinic.
Toby: Or just like, chat someone up and stake them like Francine did to Katchoo while Arthur was watching like the peeper he is.
John: And much like Gavin, that last one sounds very effective (if not capable of staying awake after a peak). More than hanging back at the town hall and hiding from the humans with their piddly weapons in the safety of one's own room. Like Effy, who got staked by Queen V for sleeping with Bel.
Toby: Someone's insecure.
John: And I thought Rodney was bad.
Toby: Did he steal Marshall's Cosmo!Girl? Or was that Jack Burton hanging with it in the common room after his hot date? Either way, the good reads didn't make it to the basement until much later in the night.
John: While the majority of the humans were all snug in their beds and praying for Santa Claus to save them?
Toby: Asleep like Gavin? Totes. But seriously, that basement was way hopping with Veronica dumping all her issues on your Pajama guy--
John: Of which she obviously has many.
Toby: And then Jamie of many J'amie's doing a wee puppet show for his favorite buffet! So adorable! I wish he didn't play with dead bodies though. It makes him less hot.
John: You're kidding, right?
Toby: Like I'm kidding about Chuck pestering Gavin at the school before Sleeping Beauty there showed up. Though, from what I can tell about your idea of punishment for Peyton, Gavin's already served his time.
John: He'll serve it again, since he's starting to sound as jealous as Queen V over Rose being with Logan. Chicks. HA! Like the Slayer Bitch who was searching for school supplies and failed to bring a pencil for her torture session with Jim and Bones.
Toby: Poor Mel! Maybe Anemone's singing helped her!
John: Keep dreaming, kid. Ned wandered the town later on and met up with green!Jennifer, who sounds both ill and likely diseased. Keep your distance, pie-boy!
Toby: Aww, she's not so ill or diseased! Not like Harper trying to give Summer fashion advice and wanting to steal Eric's soul...and does it work that way?
John: You wanna find out?
Toby: This is me reading, see? Little squirrel, bring me more notes!! Great, Piper killed Shawn and then Yakko failed to fall for Sophie's victim routine! Um, not that this is good news? It might cheer you vamps up to hear that Griff is alive and bored now that his toy is gone, but Alex was concerned about his smoking.
John: So sweet and likely to die young. Like Johnny who had harsh names for Eve. What? Did you call her mom?
Toby: Maybe he was looking for GOB but didn't know Lana had already laid her claim in and he was really mad and so he called Eve bad words?
John: That's as likely as the pie maker or Rose surviving a run-in with go-go-gadget Buffy.
Toby: At least there were plenty of blood whores for sale in case Billy failed in his stalking of Leda and Annja, or if Tim found Gwynn in a bad way. Logan and Helen were partnered up and she bitched that Anakin grounded her, but he is way smart and she should totally listen or she's gonna get someone killed or even worse!
John: I vote for even worse.
Toby: Um, can we skip the worse for now?
John: That all depends...
*radio silence*
[Co-written with the diiiiirty bloodnotsand and dying_2b_with_u and special thanks to rocksthestake for the sweet links!]
John: What can I say, I didn't feel like reading anything tonight.
Toby: ...So are you gonna like, kill me after?
John: I promise I won't kill you after.
Toby: Crossing your heart won't make me forget you're a vampire and you totes drink people like me for dinner.
John: But will it make you forget I lie, instead?
Toby: *gulps* Yes. Because this morning the dorms were totally filled with happiness and sunshine and not people thinking that like, all the awesomest people had died because that would never happen!
John: And you weren't singing Hannah Montana songs when I found you on the street.
Toby: I knew you knew that song!
John: *growls*
Gavin: John, thanks to your friend, every single person knows you know the Hannah Montana songs now. And here someone was saying I was the girl in this relationship. Next time, perhaps you could refrain from admitting what you listen to in the privacy of the room. I put up with it but I don't want people to know I put up with it.
Toby: I so knew it!
Gavin: *sighs* Here, let me help you while I'm here. I've had a long night and I need your hands on me. The school, today, was ripe with activity. As it always is. People seem to think that working during the day will make things better. Fraser was doing a perimeter sweep, Hannibal, which is a stupid name, was scavenging through the remains of the cabins.
*pause*
We did it there didn't we, John?
Anyway, Zack was making with the science in the lab and we do love our little nerd vampire. He keeps us from losing out on the nice things in life. Tyler joins him and they team up. Well, we should probably secure our things in case they blow something up that they're not supposed to. Raven was in the library and Alex was getting some sun. That's nice, Alex. You just relax and stay there and make it easy pickings for us.
Toby: He's hot, and dude, don't you like, burn up in the sun?
John: I see I picked a smart one.
Toby: I'd thank you but look at the wibbly squirrel! Aww, little buddy, I'll take your damp town notes, it's okay. *gasp* It seems Ronon found our very own Peter Parker's body and cut off his head? He and Anakin *sigh* talked about how they were gonna stop Zero from going after that icky Griff and then Parker and Zero came out and eww she wanted to see the dead body! And then Angela was all reading about being stuck in a bookstore during the day which had to be totes thrilling. The preserve was a good spot for Isabel and Irulan to go out and pick berries! Dude, I hope there's pie when I get back!
John: ...You think you're leaving?
Toby: I could tell Chuck something for you? Since it seems he was a little beat up after his fight with Peyton last night.
Gavin: John can tell Chuck something right now since he's probably listening. What is this mullet headed human even doing here? I feel like my IQ has dropped into the negatives ever since I got here.
John: I'm just glad to hear Chuck is getting his sunning time in while he still can.
Toby: Don't turn him like the victims Jen was looking for in the streets this morning. With any luck Triela and Karla found some stuff to help us in the clinic. But like, that's not gonna help Peter who Parker and Zero were still looking for? These notes are so out of order, OMM!
John: Dear pathetic human girls. Did you miss the part where the kid died and was eaten by a vampire? I know, new concept.
Gavin: It's the martyr complex. They go out there, pretend they're heroes and I'm sure someone will bang them when they get back to their hovels. Speaking of that, since Toby's doing most of your notes, you don't think you could do something better with your mouth, John? It has been a long night. Putting the fear of God into humans is such work.
John: I thought that was your job.
Toby: *excitedly* Someone's getting a job now?
John: Shh, pet. Not you.
Gavin: Down at town hall, we were rocking it like it was 1999. Shut up, John has Hannah Montana, I have Prince. In the personal rooms, I was resting and while the notes say John should come get me, I actually went and got him a little later. And I'll probably nail him again even later. Dinah came to tell Leto about how she killed Priestly. Dinah, congratulations. We hope he tasted good! Leto, of course, is just jealous. And probably hasn't been boned in awhile. Maybe he could hook up with the laundry dry! And two people who are not hooking up with laundry guy are Bel and Veronica because they're too busy doing each other. Practice safe sex, guys! Veneral disease is nothing to joke around about!
In the common area, Effy was playing with her lighter and I swear to God, she's going to set us all on fire someday, and Summer, in fact, tells her this. And then there's some bitchfighting as girls do but no girlkissing as they should be doing. Naomi was boring because she was reading, Rick wants to know if anybody wants to do something fun, and John over here was upset because Peyton was messing with his toy. Since it was a common room, I couldn't very well relax him right there but I did promise to find him a snack.
Bel and Tyler got into it over a girl and holy fuck guys, she's not worth it. Probably well used and worn. Give it a break. Sleep with each other. Less change of a disease. Effy and Bel spent some time eyefucking each other because Bel whipped out his fireballs. I'm bigger. I thought you should know that, Bel. Rick even asks Bel for help on his book. And what the fuck is everyone going to this Bel guy for? He's nothing special. Honestly.
Toby: He goes out in the daylight! He's a super vamp!
John: Or not a vamp at all. Two barely vamps, Dinah and Zack were bouncing like infant puppies at the idea of playing catch and bringing Pajamas cookies. Leto was on to something using shiny objects to get Zack's attention while Marshall continued to pray we'd all gone blind while he read Cosmo!Girl.
Toby: Ooh, think it's a new issue? I bet he got it off-island where, ohmigod, Sophie boldly hopes to go if Zoe lets her. Um, take me with you?
John: No. Ballet kept Kate from crying blood tears of boredom before stopping Leto who bitched at her for not finding herself some company for the day. It's really not difficult, Kate. I mean, if Rodney can manage a conversation about vampiric cleansing with Bones without getting himself staked, I think you can find someone to bug. Try Zack - Maron nearly had him looking out the window to see if the fog had stuck around.
Toby: Wouldn't that like, kill them?
John: ...Yes, Toby. Gavin, why don't we ever play in the basement? Veronica and Ned had creepy playtime this morning. Oooh, and Katchoo was playing with dismembered fingers and that had to be better than the lounge.
Toby: *shudders* Dudes, that is sick and I am so not reading anything involving creepy body parts
Gavin: And I think, instead of reading, I'm just going to...enjoy myself quietly with John over here. See if he can get through this radio broadcast without me making me squeak. He does squeak quite often, you know. Especially when I put my ton--
John: I'd apologize for Gavin's dirty mouth, but I happen to enjoy it at times. He and Peyton have a lot in common.
Toby: Okay, so normally? I might find this situation sort of hot. Tonight, not happening. OH LOOK, stuff happened at night back at the dorms and school! First, Nancy Kerrigan was protecting those stupid kids that keep going out and are totally gonna get Anakin's foot up their ass if they run into vamps like Effy while they're being stupid. And wow, he totally meant people like Alex who nearly got conned into thinking the not-puppy Zack was a weak student. At least he like, broke his teeth?
Oh, there was bantering between Isabel and Veronica while Meg tried to use the lockers as a nail file until Max got to hear about how she likes to play 'Pretend to be Jo' and HEY that is so not a nice game! Tahiri and Tyler talk about how useful hate is and how fun we humans are which, okay is a lie, but dammit, stop just eating my people! And then adorable Ben is all disapproving of her and there might be swords drawn on this one unlike where there's just a lot of Piper being tired when Liir starts monologuing at her about pain and torture which is not the way to a woman's heart, FYI, kind of like how you should not have mentioned death or I totes would've slept with you the other night. Whatevs. *sigh*
John: Get on with the town already! If I have to read about the epic struggle of good Ray versus evil Fraser at the trooper station you'd bet--
Toby: SHH SHH! OHMIGOD! Jack and Naomi are onna daaaaaate! I so ship them, in every reality, even if they are bloodsuckers. Um, not that bloodsuckers don't rock! Oh look, Chuck went for a patrol and Edward attacked...with a kitten. Um, stop looking at me like that, Gavin, I can't help that Chuck is all over these notes with his hot scar and...isn't that his scarf?
John: I won it, completely fair and square considering his state at the time.
Toby: Not asking. So Raven was patrolling and ended up having an empath fight with Max and then Cable showed up and got greeted by Eliza with fangs and fists. Liir and Kate are hunting - people not teal deer.
John: They should consider sneaking up on people like Irulan did to Hannibal down by the theater. Or like Dinah did to Triela and Karla while they were looking for supplies in the clinic.
Toby: Or just like, chat someone up and stake them like Francine did to Katchoo while Arthur was watching like the peeper he is.
John: And much like Gavin, that last one sounds very effective (if not capable of staying awake after a peak). More than hanging back at the town hall and hiding from the humans with their piddly weapons in the safety of one's own room. Like Effy, who got staked by Queen V for sleeping with Bel.
Toby: Someone's insecure.
John: And I thought Rodney was bad.
Toby: Did he steal Marshall's Cosmo!Girl? Or was that Jack Burton hanging with it in the common room after his hot date? Either way, the good reads didn't make it to the basement until much later in the night.
John: While the majority of the humans were all snug in their beds and praying for Santa Claus to save them?
Toby: Asleep like Gavin? Totes. But seriously, that basement was way hopping with Veronica dumping all her issues on your Pajama guy--
John: Of which she obviously has many.
Toby: And then Jamie of many J'amie's doing a wee puppet show for his favorite buffet! So adorable! I wish he didn't play with dead bodies though. It makes him less hot.
John: You're kidding, right?
Toby: Like I'm kidding about Chuck pestering Gavin at the school before Sleeping Beauty there showed up. Though, from what I can tell about your idea of punishment for Peyton, Gavin's already served his time.
John: He'll serve it again, since he's starting to sound as jealous as Queen V over Rose being with Logan. Chicks. HA! Like the Slayer Bitch who was searching for school supplies and failed to bring a pencil for her torture session with Jim and Bones.
Toby: Poor Mel! Maybe Anemone's singing helped her!
John: Keep dreaming, kid. Ned wandered the town later on and met up with green!Jennifer, who sounds both ill and likely diseased. Keep your distance, pie-boy!
Toby: Aww, she's not so ill or diseased! Not like Harper trying to give Summer fashion advice and wanting to steal Eric's soul...and does it work that way?
John: You wanna find out?
Toby: This is me reading, see? Little squirrel, bring me more notes!! Great, Piper killed Shawn and then Yakko failed to fall for Sophie's victim routine! Um, not that this is good news? It might cheer you vamps up to hear that Griff is alive and bored now that his toy is gone, but Alex was concerned about his smoking.
John: So sweet and likely to die young. Like Johnny who had harsh names for Eve. What? Did you call her mom?
Toby: Maybe he was looking for GOB but didn't know Lana had already laid her claim in and he was really mad and so he called Eve bad words?
John: That's as likely as the pie maker or Rose surviving a run-in with go-go-gadget Buffy.
Toby: At least there were plenty of blood whores for sale in case Billy failed in his stalking of Leda and Annja, or if Tim found Gwynn in a bad way. Logan and Helen were partnered up and she bitched that Anakin grounded her, but he is way smart and she should totally listen or she's gonna get someone killed or even worse!
John: I vote for even worse.
Toby: Um, can we skip the worse for now?
John: That all depends...
*radio silence*
[Co-written with the diiiiirty bloodnotsand and dying_2b_with_u and special thanks to rocksthestake for the sweet links!]