(no subject)
You know why God's a dick? The story of Job.
So there's this one part where Job's basically lying on a pile of shit on the outskirts of town and bemoaning his fate to these four dudes--three of whom are his friends, apparently--who are all saying, "Dude, God wouldn't have fucked you if you weren't a shit."
Job's response is, "Listen, I was a good guy. I helped the blind and the crippled; I fed orphans and widows. I will gladly defend myself to God because I don't deserve this shit."
Then God comes flying down in a tornado and is all like, "You know what bitch? Fuck you and your shit. I made all this shit. You think you could possibly question me? Who made the fucking lightning? Do you have any idea where light even comes from? How about snow? We'll talk once you're a beautiful, powerful motherfucker like me."
This is the part that really fucks me in the head for all the good it does for God. Job's response is, "You're right. I'm a little bitch."
God pretty much ignores Job's abasement and turns to his three friends, "Y'all are motherfuckers. Kill and burn fourteen other living creatures for me. Peace, yo."
I just reread the Story of Job this morning. Forgot what a dick God was in the Bible.
Oh, right, I forgot the capper on the whole fucking thing. After God had let Satan kill Job's children--all of them--and afflicted him with some horrible fucking disease involving head to toe boils, he doubles his former fortune. He gives Job replacement children. Job lives for another 140 years.
Here's my fucking question: what about the motherfucking boils? Where did the boils go?
Also, apparently this article was written/published/whatever on March 13th, 2010.
I was under the impression that it was February, 2010.
And that March comes after February.
So there's this one part where Job's basically lying on a pile of shit on the outskirts of town and bemoaning his fate to these four dudes--three of whom are his friends, apparently--who are all saying, "Dude, God wouldn't have fucked you if you weren't a shit."
Job's response is, "Listen, I was a good guy. I helped the blind and the crippled; I fed orphans and widows. I will gladly defend myself to God because I don't deserve this shit."
Then God comes flying down in a tornado and is all like, "You know what bitch? Fuck you and your shit. I made all this shit. You think you could possibly question me? Who made the fucking lightning? Do you have any idea where light even comes from? How about snow? We'll talk once you're a beautiful, powerful motherfucker like me."
This is the part that really fucks me in the head for all the good it does for God. Job's response is, "You're right. I'm a little bitch."
God pretty much ignores Job's abasement and turns to his three friends, "Y'all are motherfuckers. Kill and burn fourteen other living creatures for me. Peace, yo."
I just reread the Story of Job this morning. Forgot what a dick God was in the Bible.
Oh, right, I forgot the capper on the whole fucking thing. After God had let Satan kill Job's children--all of them--and afflicted him with some horrible fucking disease involving head to toe boils, he doubles his former fortune. He gives Job replacement children. Job lives for another 140 years.
Here's my fucking question: what about the motherfucking boils? Where did the boils go?
Also, apparently this article was written/published/whatever on March 13th, 2010.
I was under the impression that it was February, 2010.
And that March comes after February.