Realizations, updates, boring rambliness... junk
Where has Ferryn been? Not that it matters.
Ferryn has been right exactly where she was before, except with little to no internet surfing. And not because she wasn't able to but because she didn't feel like it. Plain and simple.
And yet, Ferryn doesn't have a life. She hates 75% of everything around her. That's just a rough estimate. She loves where she lives in the spring and fall and sometimes summer. She loves her family and pets and most of her friends (the ones that can really be called friends). She hates her job, her financial situations, her car problems, her waning intelligence, her forgetfulness, her naivete, her lack of balls, wintertime, the shitty way she treats most people, her lack of excitement, her appearance, her laziness, and her love life (if it can be called that). That's a lot of hate, most of it directed at herself.
She misses her internet friends, but she tires of faceless interactions. She really wishes she could meet all of her friends and talk to them in person. But that requires money, which is something Ferryn doesn't have much of. She's got roughly one thousand dollars, but that doesn't get a person far these days. Especially considering her car is a piece of shit and will probably break down someday soon, leaving her with no means of transportation, unless she uses her last thousand dollars in the world to buy another one. *Sigh*
Oh, you know what Ferryn realized about herself? She is incapable of loving a man. She thinks she falls in love, but it's really just infatuation. And that's what went wrong with Chuck. She wasn't really in love with him. It was just a deep, prolonged obsession, and once it passed, she broke up with him. You know how she figured this out? Well, countless other obsessions with random guys aside, she has realized that Chuck is the perfect guy for her. She hasn't found anyone better. She can't talk to anyone the way she talks to Chuck. They have so much in common and no one makes her laugh like him. And she makes him laugh in return. They get along famously, unlike any other relationship she has with any guy. But she's not in love with him. She just doesn't feel that way anymore, and she thinks she probably never did. It was all infatuation. She was obsessed with the fact that he loved her.
Ferryn has this problem where she wants everyone to like her. It's not healthy and she knows it. That's why she's so nice and will give just about anyone just about anything. And she's very honest and will tell a stranger anything about herself. She just wants you to like her. And if a guy shows even the slightest bit of interest in her, she grows obsessed with him and thinks about him constantly. But it eventually passes. Once a guy proves to her that he likes her, whether as a friend or something more, the obsession begins to boil down and eventually dies. Or, if a guy shows absolutely no interest, then the obsession goes away even faster because he's not worth her time.
This isn't to say that Ferryn is incapable of liking people and having friends, and she's not trying to say that all of her friendships are frauds. She's just telling you she's batshit crazy and halfway dead inside.
All of that aside, she's excited that Chuck is coming to visit, and they are going to attend a Queens of the Stone Age concert on Wednesday! Ferryn can't wait. She hasn't seen Chuck since October and misses him a lot. They have, luckily, remained friends, and he is now Ferryn's best guy friend. It's just too bad it couldn't work for them. He really is her perfect guy. She's just stone. Her loss, really. But anyway, the concert should be loads of fun. Her brothers and a few other friends are also attending.
New TV shows Ferryn wants to check out:
-Chuck
-New Amsterdam
-Pushing Daisies
-Moonlight
TV shows Ferryn wants to check out and will probably just buy:
-Dexter
-Rescue Me
Returning shows Ferryn will be watching:
-House
-Prison Break (she finds herself unable to give up on it)
-24
Basically, Ferryn's a boring, sit-at-home loser/psycho. Forget about her. Or call her. Whichever appeals more. 715 699 2789
~Ferryn (who wanted to try out the whole third-person thing)
P.S. Despiter her measly one grand and her almost-dead car, Ferryn's trying to plan a road trip with her friend Colin. They hope to go in October and travel across the country stopping at houses of friends. Could she finally meet some of her old internet friends? She hopes so. If they'll have her.
Ferryn has been right exactly where she was before, except with little to no internet surfing. And not because she wasn't able to but because she didn't feel like it. Plain and simple.
And yet, Ferryn doesn't have a life. She hates 75% of everything around her. That's just a rough estimate. She loves where she lives in the spring and fall and sometimes summer. She loves her family and pets and most of her friends (the ones that can really be called friends). She hates her job, her financial situations, her car problems, her waning intelligence, her forgetfulness, her naivete, her lack of balls, wintertime, the shitty way she treats most people, her lack of excitement, her appearance, her laziness, and her love life (if it can be called that). That's a lot of hate, most of it directed at herself.
She misses her internet friends, but she tires of faceless interactions. She really wishes she could meet all of her friends and talk to them in person. But that requires money, which is something Ferryn doesn't have much of. She's got roughly one thousand dollars, but that doesn't get a person far these days. Especially considering her car is a piece of shit and will probably break down someday soon, leaving her with no means of transportation, unless she uses her last thousand dollars in the world to buy another one. *Sigh*
Oh, you know what Ferryn realized about herself? She is incapable of loving a man. She thinks she falls in love, but it's really just infatuation. And that's what went wrong with Chuck. She wasn't really in love with him. It was just a deep, prolonged obsession, and once it passed, she broke up with him. You know how she figured this out? Well, countless other obsessions with random guys aside, she has realized that Chuck is the perfect guy for her. She hasn't found anyone better. She can't talk to anyone the way she talks to Chuck. They have so much in common and no one makes her laugh like him. And she makes him laugh in return. They get along famously, unlike any other relationship she has with any guy. But she's not in love with him. She just doesn't feel that way anymore, and she thinks she probably never did. It was all infatuation. She was obsessed with the fact that he loved her.
Ferryn has this problem where she wants everyone to like her. It's not healthy and she knows it. That's why she's so nice and will give just about anyone just about anything. And she's very honest and will tell a stranger anything about herself. She just wants you to like her. And if a guy shows even the slightest bit of interest in her, she grows obsessed with him and thinks about him constantly. But it eventually passes. Once a guy proves to her that he likes her, whether as a friend or something more, the obsession begins to boil down and eventually dies. Or, if a guy shows absolutely no interest, then the obsession goes away even faster because he's not worth her time.
This isn't to say that Ferryn is incapable of liking people and having friends, and she's not trying to say that all of her friendships are frauds. She's just telling you she's batshit crazy and halfway dead inside.
All of that aside, she's excited that Chuck is coming to visit, and they are going to attend a Queens of the Stone Age concert on Wednesday! Ferryn can't wait. She hasn't seen Chuck since October and misses him a lot. They have, luckily, remained friends, and he is now Ferryn's best guy friend. It's just too bad it couldn't work for them. He really is her perfect guy. She's just stone. Her loss, really. But anyway, the concert should be loads of fun. Her brothers and a few other friends are also attending.
New TV shows Ferryn wants to check out:
-Chuck
-New Amsterdam
-Pushing Daisies
-Moonlight
TV shows Ferryn wants to check out and will probably just buy:
-Dexter
-Rescue Me
Returning shows Ferryn will be watching:
-House
-Prison Break (she finds herself unable to give up on it)
-24
Basically, Ferryn's a boring, sit-at-home loser/psycho. Forget about her. Or call her. Whichever appeals more. 715 699 2789
~Ferryn (who wanted to try out the whole third-person thing)
P.S. Despiter her measly one grand and her almost-dead car, Ferryn's trying to plan a road trip with her friend Colin. They hope to go in October and travel across the country stopping at houses of friends. Could she finally meet some of her old internet friends? She hopes so. If they'll have her.