Christmas mood
I've been trying to be in a happy Christmas mood ever since thanksgiving, but I'm having a really hard time being cheerful and wanting to give (gifts, donations or w/e). I hate feeling like a scrooge, but I just don't feel Christmasy. The farthest I've got so far is that Christmas music sounded fun and I was enjoying it greatly. Then I started thinking while listening to words that I was singing and I became a little depressed. Because I realized something - I realized that if Ken is still in Bangladesh for Christmas, I can't even call him to say Merry Christmas! I'm perfectly ok with not being able to see him. That's not possible, I understand that. It sucks, but I'm not fighting that idea. My problem is that I have zero contact with him till he gets back to Japan. He might get to head back in January, or he might be stuck there till July or August. I have no idea! The lack of knowing is what bugs the hell out of me. I already miss him like crazy and the random messages I'd wake up to most mornings. Even when we didn't catch each other he always tried to get on and send me a few messages to let me know that he was thinking of me and honestly, that means so much to me! Maybe I'll sit and write him a letter of some sort soon. I dont know if he'll get it or how long it will take for him to get it, but it's worth a shot.