(no subject)
1. Get a clean plate when you go to the bars for more food. We don't need your partially eaten fried chicken dropping into new rice. Asshole.
2. If you're inished with a plate, push it to the side. There is no way for me to tell if you're finished with what you're eating when it's still sitting right in front of you and you've only picked at it a little bit.
3. Don't put a crumpled-up napkin on your plate unless you want me to take it. That is a very common signal that says "I'm finished, please take this."
4. Don't be nasty to me if I ask you a question. I don't want to take anything you're not finished eating, and I don't want to piss you off. I'm not talking to you to annoy you, I am trying to ensure that you enjoy your meal and that your table is as clean as possible at all times. I am also expected by management to converse with my guests. If you have a problem with this, you're dining in the wrong place.
5. I make $4.60 an hour. If you're going to bring your soiled child in my section,
5a. Do not change its diaper on my clean booth. There is a changing table in the bathroom for a reason.
5b. Remember that I will be cleaning up every kernel of corn it throws on the floor, as well as the table, chairs and high chair/booster seat.
5c. It will not render you bankrupt to throw me a tip to clean up after your screaming, shit-crusted child. If you can afford to pay $12.06 for your meal and $.55xthe age of your child, you can afford gratuity, too.
6. DO NOT, under ANY circumstances, continue to sexually harrass me after I have asked twice to stop. I will bring the manager over to you.
6a. If I see you acting the same way toward children, I will throw you out of the restaurant myself. God forbid I see your fucking license plate number, because I will report it to the police department. With pleasure.
7. Please accompany your spoiled brat to the food bars. I will ask them very nicely to stop running three times before I bring them back to your table. The first time, I will say "Honey, can you slow down please?" The next time, I will step out in front of them, kneel and say, "I've asked you to slow down once before, and this is the second time. You can't run here. You could very easily get hurt." If I have to tell them again, I'll bring them back to you. I am not a baby sitter. I am likely to be carrying 25 pounds on plates and half eaten food at any given point in the night, given how I have to stack them. If I am taking care of 46 tables, I do not have time to keep your kid safe. If they get hurt, it is a result of your own negligent parenting.
8. We will not think you are mean if you tell your child to get back in their seat and stop running around. We will likely commend you for having the balls to say no to your kid. However, if you continue to upset your child be repeatedly telling them that if they don't stop crying, you'll leave them there without you, we will give you dirty looks. And so will the other patrons. And we'll likely ask you to leave--with your child.
9. Do not get pissed off at me and tell your kids hat they should never talk to strange men if the strange man I am sending them to is the fucking general manager--the PROPRIETOR of the restaurant--when you let them run ove rto the bathrooms by themselves. If you think I sent them into a potentially unsafe situation, you did yourself an even bigger mistake. I would send them to one person. You are sending them unsupervised past unnumbered persons to the bathrooms, where you can't fucking see them, and will likely not see them if they are carried off.
10. Just be pleasant and considerate. Don't hand me steak knives blade first. Keep your kids with you. Say please and thank you. Don't hand me ten more plates if I already have a stack on me from my hip to my shoulder. Hand me plates I can't reach. Ask me for help if you need it--don't look pissy that I haven't answered a question you haven't asked.
Following these guidelines will likely ensure that you have a pleasant dining experience at the Old Country Buffet.
Hell, or any other restaurant.
For god's sake. People really can be assholes. Most of my guests are freaking awesome and can really make my day--if something bad happened, they pretty much cheer me up. But the select few that show up can seriously blw the entire evening, or at least the portion of the night they're there.