Dreams of my Father
I had the most vivid dream about my Dad last night that I think I ever have had. I want to write about it now so I never forget it. It is weird that he will have been dead for twelve years in August and I could picture EVERYTHING about him in this dream. I could see his facial features, body, hands, everything in full focus.
In the dream, I got a letter from my Aunt saying that my father's family wished to see me, and only me. I was to meet them at a condo in a downtown area (I am unsure of the city) but it was a major metropolis and a very old building with a very old gold elevator.
I attended without telling anyone, the directions in my hand, got into the elevator and took it to the floor that I was given by my Aunt.
When I arrived, a man who looked a lot like my grandfather but with snow white hair was there. He walked with me without saying anything into an apartment with people there, including an Aunt (My Aunt Emerald, not Terry who called me) and a few other men I have never seen. Then the man who may have been my grandfather, but was not him, went into a bedroom. I suddenly thought I was there to say good bye to my grandmother, and was expecting for my grandfather to come get me and escort me to the room to say my good-byes. I was very nervous, not knowing what I would see or whom when if I was escorted into the room. I have not seen my grandparents or any of my fathers family, with the exception of one Aunt at my wedding, in ten years, so I had no idea what they would look like, especially my grandmother who had been an alcoholic all her life and was already older when I last saw her. I pictured a shriveled old woman.
Then suddenly, me and the folks sitting in the waiting area noticed the lights lower and a voice said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the stage Butch Fernandez!" I didn't know what to think, all of the lights went down, and then American Idol style there he stood walking into a spotlight singing some upbeat song that I had never heard. I couldn't move, I was frozen. I wasn't breathing, my heart wasn't racing, I was just dead still.
Then about a verse into the song, it turned super upbeat and Aunt Emerald and the other males stood up to dance. I couldn't move at all still and then my Dad walked over to me, took me by the hands, and began dancing with me. I loosened up, but I couldn't stop staring at him and was not dancing unless he physically moved my arms and had me moving. I was his exact height and dimensions and just stared, a quick twist of the arms, and then stared again.
When the song ended, he took me by the hand and we went into the kitchen. He started trying to have a conversation with me, but I was so in shock that I could not respond to his questions. Finally, he said, "I am so happy to see you son." I grabbed him and hugged him and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I woke up from the dream to a completely wet pillow as I had been actually crying in real life.
It was such a weird and odd experience. I had to write it down so I could remember it clearly.
In the dream, I got a letter from my Aunt saying that my father's family wished to see me, and only me. I was to meet them at a condo in a downtown area (I am unsure of the city) but it was a major metropolis and a very old building with a very old gold elevator.
I attended without telling anyone, the directions in my hand, got into the elevator and took it to the floor that I was given by my Aunt.
When I arrived, a man who looked a lot like my grandfather but with snow white hair was there. He walked with me without saying anything into an apartment with people there, including an Aunt (My Aunt Emerald, not Terry who called me) and a few other men I have never seen. Then the man who may have been my grandfather, but was not him, went into a bedroom. I suddenly thought I was there to say good bye to my grandmother, and was expecting for my grandfather to come get me and escort me to the room to say my good-byes. I was very nervous, not knowing what I would see or whom when if I was escorted into the room. I have not seen my grandparents or any of my fathers family, with the exception of one Aunt at my wedding, in ten years, so I had no idea what they would look like, especially my grandmother who had been an alcoholic all her life and was already older when I last saw her. I pictured a shriveled old woman.
Then suddenly, me and the folks sitting in the waiting area noticed the lights lower and a voice said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the stage Butch Fernandez!" I didn't know what to think, all of the lights went down, and then American Idol style there he stood walking into a spotlight singing some upbeat song that I had never heard. I couldn't move, I was frozen. I wasn't breathing, my heart wasn't racing, I was just dead still.
Then about a verse into the song, it turned super upbeat and Aunt Emerald and the other males stood up to dance. I couldn't move at all still and then my Dad walked over to me, took me by the hands, and began dancing with me. I loosened up, but I couldn't stop staring at him and was not dancing unless he physically moved my arms and had me moving. I was his exact height and dimensions and just stared, a quick twist of the arms, and then stared again.
When the song ended, he took me by the hand and we went into the kitchen. He started trying to have a conversation with me, but I was so in shock that I could not respond to his questions. Finally, he said, "I am so happy to see you son." I grabbed him and hugged him and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I woke up from the dream to a completely wet pillow as I had been actually crying in real life.
It was such a weird and odd experience. I had to write it down so I could remember it clearly.