I Can't Stop My Brain
"I’m so tired I don’t know what to do.
I’m so tired my mind is set on you.
I wonder should I call you but I know what you’d do.
You’d say I’m putting you on.
But it’s no joke, it’s doing me harm.
You know I can’t sleep, I can’t stop my brain
You know it’s three weeks, I’m going insane.
You know I’d give you everything I’ve got
For a little peace of mind."
-Lennon
Yeah, dig it. Whenever I'm alone, my endless thinking makes my head whir with nostalgia, pride, regret, loneliness, uneasiness, happiness, and just about any other conceivable emotion. They all swirl together into a powerful brew of super-nostalgia, often inspiring what I like to call Nostalgia for Now.
I reopen old files in my head, and reread my memories, and rethink my old conclusions. Basically, it comes down to this:
***
I have something to say to every single person. Every single person has something to say to me. There is not enough time to talk to everyone, but I have to try. As graduation grows nearer, the situation gets direr all the time. The characters in Book Two of My Life are becoming increasingly two dimensional.
***
It is very upsetting.
When fatigue is added to the mix (e.g. now), my condition becomes a threat to public health and safety. I can't sleep, I'm too antsy. I want to call You. I want to walk into Your house and ask You some questions. I want to meet 37 people at Gideon Park. If Your phone rings randomly at 2:07 AM, please don't hold me accountable. There is something I want to talk to You about.
Fortunately for You, unfortunately for Mandy, I can mostly focus this anxiety and energy at her ("You want to speak to Mandy? Now? Do you know what time it is?" - "Um... yeah. Christ, I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me. I'll call her tomorrow. I'm dreadfully sorry to have disturbed you"). Man, love is rad.
Peace.
I’m so tired my mind is set on you.
I wonder should I call you but I know what you’d do.
You’d say I’m putting you on.
But it’s no joke, it’s doing me harm.
You know I can’t sleep, I can’t stop my brain
You know it’s three weeks, I’m going insane.
You know I’d give you everything I’ve got
For a little peace of mind."
-Lennon
Yeah, dig it. Whenever I'm alone, my endless thinking makes my head whir with nostalgia, pride, regret, loneliness, uneasiness, happiness, and just about any other conceivable emotion. They all swirl together into a powerful brew of super-nostalgia, often inspiring what I like to call Nostalgia for Now.
I reopen old files in my head, and reread my memories, and rethink my old conclusions. Basically, it comes down to this:
***
I have something to say to every single person. Every single person has something to say to me. There is not enough time to talk to everyone, but I have to try. As graduation grows nearer, the situation gets direr all the time. The characters in Book Two of My Life are becoming increasingly two dimensional.
***
It is very upsetting.
When fatigue is added to the mix (e.g. now), my condition becomes a threat to public health and safety. I can't sleep, I'm too antsy. I want to call You. I want to walk into Your house and ask You some questions. I want to meet 37 people at Gideon Park. If Your phone rings randomly at 2:07 AM, please don't hold me accountable. There is something I want to talk to You about.
Fortunately for You, unfortunately for Mandy, I can mostly focus this anxiety and energy at her ("You want to speak to Mandy? Now? Do you know what time it is?" - "Um... yeah. Christ, I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me. I'll call her tomorrow. I'm dreadfully sorry to have disturbed you"). Man, love is rad.
Peace.