Dear Linux, you can blow me.

You clearly hate your users and the developers of big-name apps you're so desperately trying to woo. I mean let's talk about rudimentary functions for a minute here. It's been what, 15 years or so now, right? And yet you still can't make sound work decently enough to let a professional developer port his game to ( Read more... )

Last week I bought a new headlight & fog light switch for my Expedition. I installed factory fog lights on the truck two years ago but the headlight switch that was in the truck didn't support fog lights, it was missing a necessary connection to the wiring harness. On a whim I checked eBay last week and found somebody selling the exact part I ( Read more... )

Dear IE,

You may now officially blow me. I have your homepage set to about:blank, yet whenever I hit CTRL-N to open a new window you piss me off. How? By immediately taking that new window and loading the URL of the old window in it. Thanks for that.

This gruntle brought to you by .

I bought my black MacBook back on June 19th, 2006 along with my black 60GB iPod. For the record, my iPod continues to treat me well. I love it. I'm sad to see it surpassed by the Classic 160GB and the Touch, but it's still a good little unit. Unfortunately, my other purchase has not been nearly so reliable. For the last eight months or so I've ( Read more... )

Some of you out there may remember that around a month and a half ago I wrote a disgruntled entry about how the USPS can blow me. That was because, as best as could be determined at the time, the USPS had managed to lose the original artwork to a commission I had with Blotch. The delivery confirmation said it had been dropped off weeks before ( Read more... )

Or, to paraphrase the illustrious jwz, Wake me up when we're in the future and have a postal system that can differentiate BOLINGBROOK, IL 60490 from PEOTONE, IL 60468.

So here's the back story on that: the United States Postal Service somehow managed to misroute an envelope from Blotch that contained the original artwork from a commission. Said ( Read more... )

Dear Expedition,

I would be thrilled if you trusted me when I tell you that yes, you do in fact have a 5.4L V8 engine. Despite evidence to the contrary, there is no such thing as a 4.725L V7 engine. Even if there were, nobody would want to buy it.

With rapidly dwindling patience,
Your devoted owner

These stupid coil packs can blow me. With a ( Read more... )

My summons for today's court appearance over the little matter of a missing piece of fascia was very clear in its instructions: it specified that my appearance was scheduled for 1330 hours today and that I should appear no less than 15 minutes early for check-in and documentation. Never one to risk infuriating the people who can leverage vast ( Read more... )

Dear Village Official:

In response to your letter dated December 5th?

You can choke on it. Choke and die crying.

Yours,
J. F. Olsen
Taxpaying resident and whipping boy for your petty, contrived retribution

The wildly popular anti-spam system dspam went into production on panther about 4 days ago. The tipping point came after I restored proper routing from "role accounts" (think webmaster, postmaster, etc) to the inbox of a Real Human (read: mine). It's astounding just how much junkmail these role accounts were getting. Since I was frustrated by ( Read more... )