Half-Blood Prince Uberwank: Chapter 1, The Other Minister
Right, here we go then.
If you thought things had changed,
Friend, you'd better think again.
Bluntly put, in the fewest of words:
Cunts are still running the world.
- Jarvis Cocker, "Running the World"
Usual warnings apply: strong language (see above), ranting, politics, my thoughts on yaoi etc etc.
( So. )
If you thought things had changed,
Friend, you'd better think again.
Bluntly put, in the fewest of words:
Cunts are still running the world.
- Jarvis Cocker, "Running the World"
Usual warnings apply: strong language (see above), ranting, politics, my thoughts on yaoi etc etc.
( So. )
Comments 45
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Secondly, I LOLed at a lot, but I particularly enjoyed if I have to hear the phrase "Are you fucking serious?" "Did last night, LOL" one more time I am going to go crazy with a hammer in a shopping centre and Well, at least she's allowed Ron to move on from making "Uranus" jokesThird point! I can totally see Kingsley with a Mean-Girls-style business card with his name and underneath: "Professional badass ( ... )
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I don't think I've ever read the first chapter of Goblet of Fire in full; it was too boring
It's funny you say that, because that's the only one I can think of that does have any action in it. I remember feeling oddly shocked that it wasn't from Harry's POV when I read it. I do see what you mean, though, now I think of it - it's about an old man taking half an hour to walk up the stairs, isn't it? :D
my brother applied for MI5
Won't he have to kill you now you've told me that? And me. And everyone who might read... my god. What have you done.
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LOL, whoops. He's too stupid to get in anyway, I doubt it matters. Plus, I doubt that he'd get hunted down by your band of "angry loners", not even if his spy-code-name-thing was like siblingthefluffy or something preposterous like that.
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Again, I know this isn't real life because in real life, the PM would probably just declare war on all wizards, choosing to ignore the fact that the attacks we've heard about were perpetrated by a very tiny, marginalised and radicalised group who in no way represent the larger population to which they belong.
That's EXACTLY what I had in mind! Or maybe they're just scared?
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You see, that would be badass, and would lead to some potentially really interesting crossovers and spinoffs. Or there is one already and it's Torchwood I agree though, it just seems a bit simplistic to have only the PM knowing anything - and in the UK system the PM can't make decisions about anything without the backing of parliament and blah blah blah so it seems a little pointless too.
Or maybe they're just scared?
Perhaps, but fear leads to the Dark Side of the Force...
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Now all I can see is Fudge bursting into the PMs office, yelling "Sirius Black has escaped! GAY PORN alert!", at which point everybody promptly panics. :D Oh, good times!
Nicely done, this, even with the boring chapter and all. And you know, political scandals should involve gas masks and bumming rentboys much more than they currently do. Although, I have to say, American politicians/mayors etc have fared rather admirably on this front...*grin*
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"Sirius Black has escaped! GAY PORN alert!"
OMFG I LOL'd. "Prime Minister, let's not be too rash! The fangirls have power we can only imagine!"
American politicians/mayors etc have fared rather admirably on this front
Heh. There needs to be a graph of US politics, showing - for example - homophobic bigotry correlated with likelihood of being caught sucking a rentboy's cock. :D
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And the DW (and spinoffs) approach to unbelievable events actually always struck me as pretty similar to Rowling's-- both rely on most people being so utterly boring that they will come up with outlandish explanations to avoid having to believe in aliens/magic, and for the people who don't, there's always retcon/obliviate.
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OMFG, yes! (Although I admit I've always enjoyed the idea that it's the PM from Little Britain - and I don't even like that show much. I just wish this PM was female so she could be Harriet Jones.)
I agree about the ordinary-people-not-noticing thing as well - and actually I think DW normally does it pretty well. (I always appreciate the thing in the new series where there are nerds who follow the Doctor obsessively, like that guy in Blink.) It's more than in DW it's got to the point where - well, how could the general population not notice what went on in the most recent season finale? Which is fine, it just means the show is taking place in a slightly alternative version of contemporary Britain.
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LOL! I would pay good money to see that. I'd hope she'd use that green death-ray thing from the Sycorax episode (if nothing else, because it resembles the ray from the Death Star). :D
OMG, so someone needs to write an AU where Torchwood hunt down the horcruxes. (They wouldn't spend too much time messing around in a tent, I don't reckon. They'd ride right up to, say, Malfoy Manor in the SUV, shoot down the magic gates, immobilise everyone with some kind of alien weapon - probably there'd be a couple of casualties, like Greyback or someone - and just GTFO. Gwen might cry, to provide the human angle. Also Jack WOULD get AKd.) And then a sequel where the DEs get hold of the Risen Mitten!
Not that I've thought about it. Or anything. Ahem.
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Again, I know this isn't real life because in real life, the PM would probably just declare war on all wizards, choosing to ignore the fact that the attacks we've heard about were perpetrated by a very tiny, marginalised and radicalised group who in no way represent the larger population to which they belong.
I don't think the PM knows how many wizards there are, though. He could be under the impression that there are just as many wizards as there are Muggles or something. I got the impression that he wants to know as little about the wizarding world as possible.
You know, the main thing that jumps out at me from this chapter (all the exposition aside) is the implication that only the Prime Minister is aware of the Ministry of Magic, wizards in general in fact, and has little or no contact with anyone other than the minister himself.Well I suppose other world leaders would know. But I can't really see the American president just keeping that a secret. Now he's someone who'd declare war on them. But I suppose ( ... )
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I don't think the PM knows how many wizards there are, though
Yeah, that was just me being a bit facetious and ranty about, well, the Iraq war.
Well it is a logical mistake to make.
Is it, though? I dunno, maybe I'm just biased because I'm so, so sick of hearing it, but it doesn't strike me as logical because "Serious" isn't a name. And there is a subtle pronunciation difference. It's not so much that I'd expect him to recognise "Sirius" as a name, but that I don't think it is a logical error. But IDK. *shrugs*
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