Deathly Hallows uberwank: Chapter 14, The Thief

Nov 04, 2007 19:57

FAN 1: What would happen if a bag of holding was placed inside the Tardis?
FAN 2: Well, for one thing, you'd still be a virgin.

This chapter is so boring I have had to make a load of crap sex jokes. I'm very sorry. )

deathly hallows uberwank

Leave a comment

Comments 14

dancesontrains November 4 2007, 21:37:13 UTC
Please bring back Alfonso Cuaron, kthxbai. In fact, do that anyway

*Nods in agreement*

Er.

Hope the fajitas were nice?

Reply

fera_festiva November 5 2007, 11:01:03 UTC
Hell yeah, Cuaron is the man. :)

Fajitas were badass, thanks for asking.

Reply


spacefragments November 4 2007, 21:49:23 UTC
Grindelwald (fuck that's a long name. I'll just call him The Grind from now on) was the "thief". Cos he had stolen the Elder Wand from Gregorovitch... If my horrible memory doesn't fail me.

(specifically, how Shad totally fancies Link and how is would be pretty sweet if they made out)
I just want to AWTC.

... Man, it would be so cool if Link made out with Shad.
Totally... wait, what were we talking about? H/R/Hr porn? Oh ok, yeah.

Argh my brain hurts
...mine does, too.
...
So, How about some Link/Shad? WHAT WOULD THEIR SHIP BE CALLED? :D :D

Reply

fera_festiva November 5 2007, 11:09:28 UTC
I will be stealing "The Grind" as I have to check how to spell Grindelwald every time. He's kind of like the Grinch, but hot. And gay. Or something. Anyway, I think while reading the chapter I got that he was the thief but as soon as I put the book down I would forget.

So, on to more srs and important bisnus. Link/Shad OTP and stuff. All I can come up with so far is HMS Linked Shadows (meh) or HMS Airwolf (better but still meh). How about HMS My Sky People, Let Me Show You Them?

I love how - if he asks you if you want to hear about the sky people and you say no, he looks really disappointed...

Reply


cristiline November 5 2007, 06:09:14 UTC
Aoede was right, Grindelwald is the thief. But I completely agree with you about that title. I keep thinking it's referring to Dung until I remember that he was in chapter ten.

And the fact that they were wearing the locket around their necks pisses me off, too. If Harry put in his pouch it would still be around his neck! And I don't think it would have the same effect on him as directly wearing it would. It should at least be lessened.

or what would happen if all fandoms used the ship naming convention Potter fandom uses

I love the ship naming! There's a master ship list on Fiction Alley, and it's got about 5 billion ships named. When I copied and pasted it into Microsoft Works, there were 42 pages. Colin/Basilisk is Portrait of a Serpent. Ron and Justin is Weasel and Finch. James/Harry is Pronging Potter. The list goes on forever.

Reply

cristiline November 5 2007, 06:10:01 UTC
Oops, I screwed up the HTML.

Reply

fera_festiva November 5 2007, 11:15:38 UTC
Bah, HTML is easy to screw up - I shouldn't worry about it. :)

I kept thinking the thief was Mundungus too, which was confusing. I suppose JKR had to name the chapter after something that happened in it, and Harry's vision is pretty much the only thing that does happen in the chapter, but still - confusing.

I love the ship naming thing too, even though a lot of them are incredibly cheesy and/or tenuous. About half of them seem to exist purely because someone thought of a clever name first and then came up with the pairing (e.g. Snape/Dudley - HMS Fat and Greasy), and anything with a Weasley in it will involve "copper", "flaming", or "orange". Still, they are way fun to come up with. Incidentally, I've never shipped James/Sirius but still think HMS Starbucks would be the best name for that ship. :D

Reply

spacefragments November 5 2007, 14:58:17 UTC
LOL Starbucks! Better than the current name... HMS Inseparable... or something like that. Not that the current name is bad... 's cute. Even if I don't like J/S.

I only like a few of the ship names. A lot of them are too fucking long, or try too hard, or are too cheesy. Sometimes all three at once.

As for Link/Shad OTP... hell I have like 10 ideas but they're all stupid. XD I'd go with My Sky People, Let Me Show You Them, just for lulz. Though it does fits the "too fucking long" category...

Reply


minnow_53 November 5 2007, 13:12:38 UTC
After reading this overnight on release night, I wouldn't have been able to tell you who "the thief" was. Having re-read the chapter a number of times, I still don't know.

Yeah, me too. At this point, I wished that JKR had sent them all back to Hogwarts and we could see the beautiful GG in Dumbledore's Pensieve. Complete with porny boy on old man boy action.

As for the spelling of the name, it doesn't help that the D/G fansite on LJ is called 'Grindledore'. When the big news broke, I put 'Grindeldore' into the site and user box, and was really pissed off to find it didn't exist.

I'm glad you've now embarked on the deep mysteries that comprise the ENTIRE middle of DH... Looking forward to Ron as Gollum, though I love the Ancient Mariner reference and hope you'll be able to work on that too. :D

And 'HMS Starbucks' is brilliant. ♥ Merits a mention in a post, I think, as well as in a comment reply.

Reply

fera_festiva November 5 2007, 21:35:01 UTC
we could see the beautiful GG in Dumbledore's Pensieve

Hell yes. That would have been amazing, so much better than just hearing about it. Except that we would have got like a sentence of boy-on-boy action and then several pages of emo Harry non-action. "The young Dumbledore gazed at Grindelwald for a moment, perhaps a moment too long - and then, Harry was amazed, astounded, when their lips met. ANGST, thought Harry. ANGSTY ANGSTY ANGST..." Or something like that.

*Drifts into a daydream about young, hot AD/GG action*

And 'HMS Starbucks' is brilliant

Thank you! *Glomps* The sad thing is I thought of that, oh, when I was a foetus or something, and have been looking for an opportunity to use it ever since, which is a bit tragic. :P

Reply


oddsbobs November 7 2007, 05:16:33 UTC
You win a billion times over. I love how you snark, it's so geeky and logical and perfect.

The Choose Your Own Adventure DH would be made of awesome.

I second the 'bring Cuaron back' sentiment. There should be a petition.

HMS Genesis... because one's like the devil and the other's like God? *is dorky*

Reply

fera_festiva November 7 2007, 09:42:05 UTC
You win a billion times over. I love how you snark, it's so geeky and logical and perfect.

For what it's worth, that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me. *Squee* Thank you!

If I had the time/energy/inclination, I would write a choose-your-own DH, where making the decisions the trio make would lead to being eaten by dragons, whereas acting like Neville would lead to win. But that would involve effort.

HMS Genesis... because one's like the devil and the other's like God?

That's part of it, but not all of it... man, I'm such a lamer. :P

Reply


Leave a comment

Up