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[fennie8907]

hey guys, i dont really know what to write. right now im upset cause i was cleaning my moms room to get some money to buy x-mas presents for people, and while i was cleaning it, i found a 3page letter that i had wrote to my dad last year. from what i was told, the letter was sent to him. well obviously not. ya know, so many people out there talk about how they hate their dad and how they wish that their dad was nicer or cooler or stuff like that. well for all of the people that say that. yall have no idea how bad it sucks to have gone 15years already without a dad. sure ive had some great friends in the past and their dads have always treated me like family and they made me feel like i was a daughter to them, but its never the same. theyre not my dad. only my dad is my dad. there is only one man that can fill the hole that ive had to live with for the past 15years. and it just amazes me how inconciderate people are...i mean yeah, its not like im gonna make sure that no one brings their dad around me or make them not talk about their dad. theres always gonna be times when i feel lonley and worthless and empty because i dont have a dad. but its hard because i dont expect everyone to know that i dont have a dad but its hard when people ask me questions about my parents and stuff like that. and its really hard when someone points you out directly in front of people asking you about your dad or parents. knowing that i dont have a dad, in my opion, has changed me in so many ways. i truly believe that if i did have a dad that was apart of my life, then i think that i would be different. i think that in so many ways that my life would be better and that i was better. not having a dad gives me a different perspective on life then people that do have a dad. and i know that im not the only one in the world that doesnt have a dad but i also know that i have a heavenly farther and i have come to accept that, not that its a bad thing to accept. its hard though ya know...when i was younger, i used to always ask my mom questions about my dad, but then i just stopped because i was tired of hearing lie after lie. i was tired of having a deep-set feeling that one day, if i was good enough, that he would come find me. but i know that isnt going to happen and as hard as it is, ive come to accept that...when i get really emotional, i write about it, i tend to write poetry sometimes...so heres a poem that i wrote about my dad-or what hes supposed to be:

Daddy?

All I ever wanted was to call you dad
But you left and made me very mad
I think about you day and night
Just wanting to know if you're alright

"Daddy's girl" is what I want to be called one day
And that's what I want to hear you say
So many days have gone by
Without you I just sigh

People come and people go
All I have to say is "So?"
What does that matter to me?
I just want you to see

Where were you when I said my first word?
Not saying "daddy" first hurts like a sword!
Why did you leave when I needed you most?
To me you're just like a ghost!

Bring your daughter, to you, was never enough
And me knowing that is very tough
Now someone has taken your place
One with no human face

His name is Jesus and He did for me
Why don't you pick up a Bible and see?!
He's a father to me...
Something you were supposed to be!

so yeah, there it is. i just thought that id let yall read. well im gonna go now. bye everyone! i love yall tons!! and please comment