New Due South Vid
Title: "Needful"
Fandom: Due South
Warnings: Massive Fraser Angst Ahead. (Oh, and some instances of Fraser being Raysexual.)
Download: http://www.mediafire.com/download/o1c4ifdqhh7ekbv/needful.zip
52 MB, 5:36
Well, I kind of thought the vid was RILLYRILLY BAD OMG, but I tend to feel that way right after finishing a vid. Now I'm more content/resigned in regard to it, but I thought I would share the vid in case someone Out There might like it. ::nudges in the general direction of fandom:: Go on, be free, little vid. Be *not in my head* anymore. Here, ::shoves vid forward:: you take it.
I couldn't really get into the vidding fugue state I made my other vids in, maybe because this vid is also the longest. I used clips from 40 of the 66 episodes, and it was a freaking long 5:30 minutes to vid.
These are my vague interpretive thoughts, but feel very free to assign your own meanings to my juxtaposition of lyrics and images.
I finally figured out why I love vidding and watching vids--because both are like explicating a poem, all rhythm and meter and hidden meanings. I love explicating poems (so how much do I love vid notes? An explication [notes] of my explication [vid] of my interpretation [concept] of juxtaposition of the song lyrics and music with show canon. Double your fun! ::g::), and I love the way there are different interpretations of the same poem and that's why I love fandom. Far be it from me to impose some iron-clad meaning to my vid.
That said, these were my vague intentions:
I made it so you could watch it on loop (if you were, uh, *really bored* I guess), and so the entire vid could be the thoughts of the beginning!Fraser coming home to a Cabin Full of RayK yes it must be so. (Wow I just suddenly got a Cauldron full of Hot Strong Love in my head and doesn't that conjure up a weird post-COTW image). The beginning!Fraser could also be sad pre-Rays Fraser, but I like reflecty yet content older and wiser Fraser better. Because Frame Story!
I went kinda frame story and parallel crazy in this one. These are some of them.
Frame Stories:
The whole instrumental section is Fraser's life flashing before his eyes as he's waiting to die in the crevasse.
The RayK macking on Fraser and RayK het kisses are Fraser's thoughts during the argument(s) with RayK. (I really wanted to use Fraser's oh-so-woobie face when Ray was watching Luanne Russell undress, but there just wasnt a place for it. Oh well, next vid.)
Then there's Fraser reading his dad's journal in bed and then putting it away after getting beat up which could be, uh, realizing that going to such extremes (Victoria, the mob) isn't always the best course and that he doesn't have to be his father? Yes, that.
Throughout the course of the vid he is trying to become his own man and get out of his father's shadow. He is also trying to forge relationships. In the beginning of the vid, he has only memories and pictures. I didn't include the picture of Victoria, because there wasn't room and it wasn't as important, but it fit here too. The "untouchable" as Fraser looks out the window and tells the Victoria story serves much the same purpose as the Victoria picture however.
Parallels:
In the choruses, the Rays are positioned similarly--first meetings, crying because of a woman.
In the "can you reach me?" RayV obviously cannot reach Fraser physically, only through the poor excuse for a letter, but RayK can rush into the consulate.
"face-saving promises"
-With RayV it's his "as a friend" when he knows that a friend wouldn't leave.
-With RayK it's his "I'm not gay" pursuit of women in front of Fraser. God, I didn't have space to include it, but with Luanne Russell, the look on his face as he looks at Fraser after kissing her is just so like getting caught cheating.
Then in the instrumental section, obvious similarities.
The Rays threatening a perp, hugging a loved one, taking a bullet for Fraser. Then Fraser says goodbye to RayV as RayV says "Go get your man," and Fraser does. He gets RayK. And Dief and RayK go with Fraser.
Gerrard is always the "darkness" because, uh, there were no good shots of Fraser and Muldoon.
There are parallels between Fraser about to shoot Dief and Fraser shooting the caribou (which he's remembering while looking at a playground full of "normal" children and juxtaposing his own childhood memories with normal social interactions which he watches yet always remains separate from, chain link fence blah blah blah)
Fraser's reflection. The camera sees reflections four times in the vid: The first "untouchable," the Victoria reflection, and in the mirror during the sexuality and the Rays part. It is, of course, representative of Fraser repeatedly trying to find "himself" and his identity in relation to other people.
Misc. explications:
The first "I've been treated so...untouchable" is about Fraser's personal relationships. He has no one. I emphasized this by showing him through bars or windows, separated.
The second is about his relationship to his job. He is a mountie, yes, but his own internal code and his continual efforts to live up to his father's legend are much more binding and isolating than the organization by which he has been "treated so wrong". Then he's punished by Zuko and shunned by RayV and the CPD for adhering to that code, just as he was punished and exiled by the RCMP.
The first "I need this" is Fraser's attitude toward Victoria: "I need emotional connection and damn the cost because I've been deprived for so long."
The second "I need this" is "I need partnership" (in this case with RayK)
The third "I need this" is "I need wilderness tracking and the pursuit of justice." yes. ahem.
The fourth "I need this" is "I need wide snowy spaces and RayK with me in them."
The first "I mean this" is Fraser confirming the stability of his partnership with RayK. I think RayK running into the consulate and "reach"ing Fraser healed the rift between them caused by sexual identity crises, and now they are committed to their partnership.
The second "I mean this" on RayK's reaching out for Franklin's hand is Fraser confirming that his partnership with RayK will continue for a long time. He's committing to a future with him in agreeing to go on the quest (even though he thinks he's probably going to die in the crevasse).
In the instrumental section, Fraser is being crazy and seeing hallucinations (one of which could have been his near-death experience), but he runs away from the issue of his mental health and starts cross-dressing and being gay with the Rays. He's in the closet with RayV and in the men's bathroom stall with RayK.
During the sexuality section, I tried to communicate how Fraser is bemused by his appearance causing people to react so strongly. He looks in the mirror, he looks at the outer manifestation of that surface: the uniform.
But ultimately he chooses the Rays to share his inner self with, as emphasized by the intercutting of him looking at his reflection with the embrace in the "My two Rays" part. But he has a fond parting with RayV after RayV gets shot on Fraser's behalf (even though I actually used the clip of s1 "Vecchio takes a bullet for Fraser" instead of s4 "Vecchio takes a bullet for Fraser" because it looked better)and redeems himself for his earlier abandonment. Now Fraser leaves RayV behind instead and goes off to find home with RayK.
And then there was a bunch of random lyric matching.
This is why I'm really not that happy with this vid, because it feels like a hodgepodge with no meaning and no narrative structure and no emotional trajectory. Just a woobie Fraser homage montage. blah. oh well.
I had a devil of a time titling this one. But "Needful" had the best sound of all the options. I'm still not happy with it though; it has a bad aftertaste, even though I like the fact that it means both “necessary” and “needy.” So we’re exploring Fraser’s “needy” psychological state, and also seeing what’s “necessary” for him and for his happiness.
I focused on emotional rather than physical torment, so there is quite a lot of woobie left for more woobie!Fraser vids, if anyone's feeling inspired. God knows I already have my next DS vids floating around in my head. (I kinda wish I could actually start vidding some of my plans for vids in other fandoms...) It's odd how much I've been inspired by other vidders' use of a song in another fandom. I'm so derivative. But that's ok, such is the nature of fandom itself, I suppose.
But yay! It's done! Enjoy, and feedback please!
Lyrics:
Natalie Merchant
Album: Ophelia
"My Skin"
Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here that I don't understand
Your face-saving promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them
Because I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
Well contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart
They say that promises sweeten the blow
But I don't need them, no
I don't need them
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
I'm the slow dying flower
I'm the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour and untouchable
Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss goodnight
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
I'm the slow dying flower
Frost killing hour
The sweet turning sour and untouchable
Do you remember the way that you touched me before
All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored
Your face-saving promises whispered like prayers
I don't need them
I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss goodnight
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
Well is it dark enough?
Can you see me?
Do you want me?
Can you reach me?
Oh, I'm leaving
You better shut your mouth
And hold your breath
You kiss me now
You catch your death
Oh, I mean this
Oh, I mean this
Fandom: Due South
Warnings: Massive Fraser Angst Ahead. (Oh, and some instances of Fraser being Raysexual.)
Click to viewDownload: http://www.mediafire.com/download/o1c4ifdqhh7ekbv/needful.zip
52 MB, 5:36
Well, I kind of thought the vid was RILLYRILLY BAD OMG, but I tend to feel that way right after finishing a vid. Now I'm more content/resigned in regard to it, but I thought I would share the vid in case someone Out There might like it. ::nudges in the general direction of fandom:: Go on, be free, little vid. Be *not in my head* anymore. Here, ::shoves vid forward:: you take it.
I couldn't really get into the vidding fugue state I made my other vids in, maybe because this vid is also the longest. I used clips from 40 of the 66 episodes, and it was a freaking long 5:30 minutes to vid.
These are my vague interpretive thoughts, but feel very free to assign your own meanings to my juxtaposition of lyrics and images.
I finally figured out why I love vidding and watching vids--because both are like explicating a poem, all rhythm and meter and hidden meanings. I love explicating poems (so how much do I love vid notes? An explication [notes] of my explication [vid] of my interpretation [concept] of juxtaposition of the song lyrics and music with show canon. Double your fun! ::g::), and I love the way there are different interpretations of the same poem and that's why I love fandom. Far be it from me to impose some iron-clad meaning to my vid.
That said, these were my vague intentions:
I made it so you could watch it on loop (if you were, uh, *really bored* I guess), and so the entire vid could be the thoughts of the beginning!Fraser coming home to a Cabin Full of RayK yes it must be so. (Wow I just suddenly got a Cauldron full of Hot Strong Love in my head and doesn't that conjure up a weird post-COTW image). The beginning!Fraser could also be sad pre-Rays Fraser, but I like reflecty yet content older and wiser Fraser better. Because Frame Story!
I went kinda frame story and parallel crazy in this one. These are some of them.
Frame Stories:
The whole instrumental section is Fraser's life flashing before his eyes as he's waiting to die in the crevasse.
The RayK macking on Fraser and RayK het kisses are Fraser's thoughts during the argument(s) with RayK. (I really wanted to use Fraser's oh-so-woobie face when Ray was watching Luanne Russell undress, but there just wasnt a place for it. Oh well, next vid.)
Then there's Fraser reading his dad's journal in bed and then putting it away after getting beat up which could be, uh, realizing that going to such extremes (Victoria, the mob) isn't always the best course and that he doesn't have to be his father? Yes, that.
Throughout the course of the vid he is trying to become his own man and get out of his father's shadow. He is also trying to forge relationships. In the beginning of the vid, he has only memories and pictures. I didn't include the picture of Victoria, because there wasn't room and it wasn't as important, but it fit here too. The "untouchable" as Fraser looks out the window and tells the Victoria story serves much the same purpose as the Victoria picture however.
Parallels:
In the choruses, the Rays are positioned similarly--first meetings, crying because of a woman.
In the "can you reach me?" RayV obviously cannot reach Fraser physically, only through the poor excuse for a letter, but RayK can rush into the consulate.
"face-saving promises"
-With RayV it's his "as a friend" when he knows that a friend wouldn't leave.
-With RayK it's his "I'm not gay" pursuit of women in front of Fraser. God, I didn't have space to include it, but with Luanne Russell, the look on his face as he looks at Fraser after kissing her is just so like getting caught cheating.
Then in the instrumental section, obvious similarities.
The Rays threatening a perp, hugging a loved one, taking a bullet for Fraser. Then Fraser says goodbye to RayV as RayV says "Go get your man," and Fraser does. He gets RayK. And Dief and RayK go with Fraser.
Gerrard is always the "darkness" because, uh, there were no good shots of Fraser and Muldoon.
There are parallels between Fraser about to shoot Dief and Fraser shooting the caribou (which he's remembering while looking at a playground full of "normal" children and juxtaposing his own childhood memories with normal social interactions which he watches yet always remains separate from, chain link fence blah blah blah)
Fraser's reflection. The camera sees reflections four times in the vid: The first "untouchable," the Victoria reflection, and in the mirror during the sexuality and the Rays part. It is, of course, representative of Fraser repeatedly trying to find "himself" and his identity in relation to other people.
Misc. explications:
The first "I've been treated so...untouchable" is about Fraser's personal relationships. He has no one. I emphasized this by showing him through bars or windows, separated.
The second is about his relationship to his job. He is a mountie, yes, but his own internal code and his continual efforts to live up to his father's legend are much more binding and isolating than the organization by which he has been "treated so wrong". Then he's punished by Zuko and shunned by RayV and the CPD for adhering to that code, just as he was punished and exiled by the RCMP.
The first "I need this" is Fraser's attitude toward Victoria: "I need emotional connection and damn the cost because I've been deprived for so long."
The second "I need this" is "I need partnership" (in this case with RayK)
The third "I need this" is "I need wilderness tracking and the pursuit of justice." yes. ahem.
The fourth "I need this" is "I need wide snowy spaces and RayK with me in them."
The first "I mean this" is Fraser confirming the stability of his partnership with RayK. I think RayK running into the consulate and "reach"ing Fraser healed the rift between them caused by sexual identity crises, and now they are committed to their partnership.
The second "I mean this" on RayK's reaching out for Franklin's hand is Fraser confirming that his partnership with RayK will continue for a long time. He's committing to a future with him in agreeing to go on the quest (even though he thinks he's probably going to die in the crevasse).
In the instrumental section, Fraser is being crazy and seeing hallucinations (one of which could have been his near-death experience), but he runs away from the issue of his mental health and starts cross-dressing and being gay with the Rays. He's in the closet with RayV and in the men's bathroom stall with RayK.
During the sexuality section, I tried to communicate how Fraser is bemused by his appearance causing people to react so strongly. He looks in the mirror, he looks at the outer manifestation of that surface: the uniform.
But ultimately he chooses the Rays to share his inner self with, as emphasized by the intercutting of him looking at his reflection with the embrace in the "My two Rays" part. But he has a fond parting with RayV after RayV gets shot on Fraser's behalf (even though I actually used the clip of s1 "Vecchio takes a bullet for Fraser" instead of s4 "Vecchio takes a bullet for Fraser" because it looked better)and redeems himself for his earlier abandonment. Now Fraser leaves RayV behind instead and goes off to find home with RayK.
And then there was a bunch of random lyric matching.
This is why I'm really not that happy with this vid, because it feels like a hodgepodge with no meaning and no narrative structure and no emotional trajectory. Just a woobie Fraser homage montage. blah. oh well.
I had a devil of a time titling this one. But "Needful" had the best sound of all the options. I'm still not happy with it though; it has a bad aftertaste, even though I like the fact that it means both “necessary” and “needy.” So we’re exploring Fraser’s “needy” psychological state, and also seeing what’s “necessary” for him and for his happiness.
I focused on emotional rather than physical torment, so there is quite a lot of woobie left for more woobie!Fraser vids, if anyone's feeling inspired. God knows I already have my next DS vids floating around in my head. (I kinda wish I could actually start vidding some of my plans for vids in other fandoms...) It's odd how much I've been inspired by other vidders' use of a song in another fandom. I'm so derivative. But that's ok, such is the nature of fandom itself, I suppose.
But yay! It's done! Enjoy, and feedback please!
Lyrics:
Natalie Merchant
Album: Ophelia
"My Skin"
Take a look at my body
Look at my hands
There's so much here that I don't understand
Your face-saving promises
Whispered like prayers
I don't need them
Because I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
Well contempt loves the silence
It thrives in the dark
With fine winding tendrils
That strangle the heart
They say that promises sweeten the blow
But I don't need them, no
I don't need them
I've been treated so wrong
I've been treated so long
As if I'm becoming untouchable
I'm the slow dying flower
I'm the frost killing hour
Sweet turning sour and untouchable
Oh, I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss goodnight
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
I'm the slow dying flower
Frost killing hour
The sweet turning sour and untouchable
Do you remember the way that you touched me before
All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored
Your face-saving promises whispered like prayers
I don't need them
I need the darkness
The sweetness
The sadness
The weakness
Oh, I need this
I need a lullaby
A kiss goodnight
Angel sweet love of my life
Oh, I need this
Well is it dark enough?
Can you see me?
Do you want me?
Can you reach me?
Oh, I'm leaving
You better shut your mouth
And hold your breath
You kiss me now
You catch your death
Oh, I mean this
Oh, I mean this