Coke, Cigarettes, Geometry and Life
A little light went off just now when I was outside smoking.
Coca-cola, cigarettes, and geometry can tell you about my life...more specifically, my love life (of course).
My friend Leah and I once had a discussion where we decided the question wasn't "English or math?" but more like "algebra or geometry?" Comparing English and math is like comparing apples and oranges, and she observed that quite a few people can be good at both, although these people too have their preferences. But algebra and geometry? The line is a little more clear cut. Some hate algebra and love geometry, and vice-versa. I love geometry--it's more visual, and there's something about shapes and symmetry that appeals to me. I've noticed that most of my friends are geometry people. I dunno...geometry. It's all about geometry.
Secondly, the choice between Pepsi and Coke (let's stick to colas and not get all caught up in other sodas...this is for illustrative purposes anyway). I don't really like Pepsi, but I love love LOVE Coke. It's sorta like men and women, women being Pepsi in this case, and men being Coke. I love Coke, wanna have it all the time. Pepsi...not so much. It's soda (human) but it's not Coke (men). I wouldn't mind having Pepsi, but would much rather have Coke.
I smoke all the time, but I don't have a particular brand. I usually go for some kind of Camel, but I can smoke Marlboros, Kools, Triple 5s, Gauloises, Cloves, Black and Milds, Lucky Strikes, American Spirits (the Hippy of cigarettes), Capris (yes, I have before, oddly enough), Dorals (cheap and serves the purpose) and random brands I'll pick up at a specialty store, like Sweetwaters or Sweet Dreams (in vanilla, cherry, and chocolate). I'll smoke almost anything as long as it's something to smoke. I'll never turn down a cigarette when in a pinch. Sure, I have my preferences, but it's NICOTINE. So, men in this case would be nicotine--I'm down to smoke almost any kind (of pole). Now, this is where the analogy really gets into thorny ground.
I thought that maybe for once I'd have a relatively light-weight entry. But no. Not the case. All that light banter and fluff was an introduction into a sore spot with most people in the world, the issue of race and ethnicity.
Now, I'm going to be vulgar and extend the analogy further. I have my preferences, but I'm down to smoke anything as long as it's good and packed with the nicotine I need so I can get my fix. It's not that I'm a whore, I'm just being realistic. I've never known any real smoker to turn down a cigarette when they're in the position of having to bum one--a fag is a fag (oops). But as far as "brand loyalty" is concerned, there are some smokers to definitely stick to a certain brand, and others, like myself, who really could give a shit less. It's the same thing with clothing. Some people are brand whores, others don't care as long as they like the look and the fit. Sometimes there are certain brands that grab your attention (personally I love Adidas, Ben Sherman and Buffalo to name a few).
I'm not trying to say that men are bad for your health, addictive, expensive and a bad habit which should have never been picked up in the first place (or am I? I know there are psychological reasons why I chose to associate men with cigarettes, but that's a whole other entry). For me at least, the connection is clear. My favorite kind of cigarette, the one I'd buy cartons of if I ever did buy cartons, are Camel Light 100s (and it's extremely obvious to me what that means). But even within that brand there's a whole bunch of choices--Camel Lights, Camel Filterless, Camel Wides and Wide 100s, Camel Reds/Lights and now Camel Twists, Stingers, Mint, etc. So yes, I have a preference, but I like to change it up a bit, if not every single time I buy a pack.
I've noticed that I have friends who stick to a certain kind of cigarette--one's strictly a Marlboro man, another one loves his Newports, another swears by Camel Lights. Only under duress will they buy another kind of cigarette. A cigarette has to have a certain personality--a certain size, shape, appearance, flavor (see, the cigarette/men analogy in action). And each smoker differs in smoking habits--some only a few times a week, some only socially, some every morning and before they go to bed, and some at almost any given opportunity (that'd be me). Cigarettes lend themselves easily to phallic and sex analogies, and it's no surprise, the connections are apparent to even the non-smoker. Interestingly enough, the percentage of gay men who smoke is somewhere near 75-80% (yikes!) which is much higher than the percentage of Americans who smoke, which is around 25%. I know there are many reasons, social and personal, which explain that statistic, but I thought I'd throw it in there because it's relevant to our discussion and a damn interesting correlation.
Enough with the friendly banter.
I'm irritated that more people aren't open to smoking different kinds of cigarettes. Yes, smokers, we all need nicotine. And yes, there IS brand loyalty, thanks to corporate America and socialization. But what's wrong with trying something a little different? We don't have to go Pepsi (although some people definitely prefer Pepsi and there's nothing wrong with that). We don't even have to go and smoke other substances (uh...in terms of this analogy would that mean smoking...uh..."not men?" that's tricky. I know you usually smoke substances like weed and CR, but would that be like...having sex with toys? pre-op transsexuals?). For the purposes of this, we'll stick to cigarettes, although that in itself does say something. We don't have to like both geometry and algebra (although it's nice to be able to go from one to the other...one being pretty good about having rules in place where form and structure is pretty predictable but still plastic enough to change, and one where the basic functions are dropping, adding, carrying over, multiplying and dividing--see, I think that would be one way to make math more interesting in the classroom. I can see it now. "Class, just think about filling in matrices as plugging numbers in the boxes...all you have to do is put something in that hole and you've got it all figured out").
Wait, that was still on the friendly, subtle and politically correct tip. Let's try that again.
I hate the fact that some men, some of the "Camel Light 100 men", can come right out and say, "I don't like Asians!" and have it be perfectly ok, and maybe even expected. Uh...wait. That didn't come out that smoothly. Oops. Oh well. That was the point anyway. I didn't want to have to pull this term out, but the fact that there are terms like "rice queen" (applied either to the white guy as his preference or the asian guy as a designation...which isn't the use for the term...although I could possibly see myself being the Queen of Rice, as much as a German guy is the Queen of Beer or an Colombian guy being the Queen of Coffee or a Japanese guy as the Queen of Sushi...hmm...Rice Queen, Beer Queen, Coffee Queen, Sushi Queen, Dairy Queen...would that be a guy from Wisconsin?) around isn't all that great or funny when you really think about it...maybe it is, but not really...seriously.
Hey, all I know is I like cigarettes, and I love to smoke (even though it's horrible for my health and I just woke up from a nightmare where I sounded like a frog and couldn't sing--that was horrifying). That's all. It's a bad habit I started on a whim when I turned 18 just cuz I could. Dammmit. Damn tobacco companies.
Maybe the only real solution to this dilemma is--you guessed it--to quit smoking...crack.
Coca-cola, cigarettes, and geometry can tell you about my life...more specifically, my love life (of course).
My friend Leah and I once had a discussion where we decided the question wasn't "English or math?" but more like "algebra or geometry?" Comparing English and math is like comparing apples and oranges, and she observed that quite a few people can be good at both, although these people too have their preferences. But algebra and geometry? The line is a little more clear cut. Some hate algebra and love geometry, and vice-versa. I love geometry--it's more visual, and there's something about shapes and symmetry that appeals to me. I've noticed that most of my friends are geometry people. I dunno...geometry. It's all about geometry.
Secondly, the choice between Pepsi and Coke (let's stick to colas and not get all caught up in other sodas...this is for illustrative purposes anyway). I don't really like Pepsi, but I love love LOVE Coke. It's sorta like men and women, women being Pepsi in this case, and men being Coke. I love Coke, wanna have it all the time. Pepsi...not so much. It's soda (human) but it's not Coke (men). I wouldn't mind having Pepsi, but would much rather have Coke.
I smoke all the time, but I don't have a particular brand. I usually go for some kind of Camel, but I can smoke Marlboros, Kools, Triple 5s, Gauloises, Cloves, Black and Milds, Lucky Strikes, American Spirits (the Hippy of cigarettes), Capris (yes, I have before, oddly enough), Dorals (cheap and serves the purpose) and random brands I'll pick up at a specialty store, like Sweetwaters or Sweet Dreams (in vanilla, cherry, and chocolate). I'll smoke almost anything as long as it's something to smoke. I'll never turn down a cigarette when in a pinch. Sure, I have my preferences, but it's NICOTINE. So, men in this case would be nicotine--I'm down to smoke almost any kind (of pole). Now, this is where the analogy really gets into thorny ground.
I thought that maybe for once I'd have a relatively light-weight entry. But no. Not the case. All that light banter and fluff was an introduction into a sore spot with most people in the world, the issue of race and ethnicity.
Now, I'm going to be vulgar and extend the analogy further. I have my preferences, but I'm down to smoke anything as long as it's good and packed with the nicotine I need so I can get my fix. It's not that I'm a whore, I'm just being realistic. I've never known any real smoker to turn down a cigarette when they're in the position of having to bum one--a fag is a fag (oops). But as far as "brand loyalty" is concerned, there are some smokers to definitely stick to a certain brand, and others, like myself, who really could give a shit less. It's the same thing with clothing. Some people are brand whores, others don't care as long as they like the look and the fit. Sometimes there are certain brands that grab your attention (personally I love Adidas, Ben Sherman and Buffalo to name a few).
I'm not trying to say that men are bad for your health, addictive, expensive and a bad habit which should have never been picked up in the first place (or am I? I know there are psychological reasons why I chose to associate men with cigarettes, but that's a whole other entry). For me at least, the connection is clear. My favorite kind of cigarette, the one I'd buy cartons of if I ever did buy cartons, are Camel Light 100s (and it's extremely obvious to me what that means). But even within that brand there's a whole bunch of choices--Camel Lights, Camel Filterless, Camel Wides and Wide 100s, Camel Reds/Lights and now Camel Twists, Stingers, Mint, etc. So yes, I have a preference, but I like to change it up a bit, if not every single time I buy a pack.
I've noticed that I have friends who stick to a certain kind of cigarette--one's strictly a Marlboro man, another one loves his Newports, another swears by Camel Lights. Only under duress will they buy another kind of cigarette. A cigarette has to have a certain personality--a certain size, shape, appearance, flavor (see, the cigarette/men analogy in action). And each smoker differs in smoking habits--some only a few times a week, some only socially, some every morning and before they go to bed, and some at almost any given opportunity (that'd be me). Cigarettes lend themselves easily to phallic and sex analogies, and it's no surprise, the connections are apparent to even the non-smoker. Interestingly enough, the percentage of gay men who smoke is somewhere near 75-80% (yikes!) which is much higher than the percentage of Americans who smoke, which is around 25%. I know there are many reasons, social and personal, which explain that statistic, but I thought I'd throw it in there because it's relevant to our discussion and a damn interesting correlation.
Enough with the friendly banter.
I'm irritated that more people aren't open to smoking different kinds of cigarettes. Yes, smokers, we all need nicotine. And yes, there IS brand loyalty, thanks to corporate America and socialization. But what's wrong with trying something a little different? We don't have to go Pepsi (although some people definitely prefer Pepsi and there's nothing wrong with that). We don't even have to go and smoke other substances (uh...in terms of this analogy would that mean smoking...uh..."not men?" that's tricky. I know you usually smoke substances like weed and CR, but would that be like...having sex with toys? pre-op transsexuals?). For the purposes of this, we'll stick to cigarettes, although that in itself does say something. We don't have to like both geometry and algebra (although it's nice to be able to go from one to the other...one being pretty good about having rules in place where form and structure is pretty predictable but still plastic enough to change, and one where the basic functions are dropping, adding, carrying over, multiplying and dividing--see, I think that would be one way to make math more interesting in the classroom. I can see it now. "Class, just think about filling in matrices as plugging numbers in the boxes...all you have to do is put something in that hole and you've got it all figured out").
Wait, that was still on the friendly, subtle and politically correct tip. Let's try that again.
I hate the fact that some men, some of the "Camel Light 100 men", can come right out and say, "I don't like Asians!" and have it be perfectly ok, and maybe even expected. Uh...wait. That didn't come out that smoothly. Oops. Oh well. That was the point anyway. I didn't want to have to pull this term out, but the fact that there are terms like "rice queen" (applied either to the white guy as his preference or the asian guy as a designation...which isn't the use for the term...although I could possibly see myself being the Queen of Rice, as much as a German guy is the Queen of Beer or an Colombian guy being the Queen of Coffee or a Japanese guy as the Queen of Sushi...hmm...Rice Queen, Beer Queen, Coffee Queen, Sushi Queen, Dairy Queen...would that be a guy from Wisconsin?) around isn't all that great or funny when you really think about it...maybe it is, but not really...seriously.
Hey, all I know is I like cigarettes, and I love to smoke (even though it's horrible for my health and I just woke up from a nightmare where I sounded like a frog and couldn't sing--that was horrifying). That's all. It's a bad habit I started on a whim when I turned 18 just cuz I could. Dammmit. Damn tobacco companies.
Maybe the only real solution to this dilemma is--you guessed it--to quit smoking...crack.