CONSTANT ROTATION and CONTINUING THOUGHTS...
Here are the songs playing both in my stereo, and in my head...in no specific order...
TAKING BACK SUNDAY - "Cute Without the E (Cut from the Team)" - Your lipstick, his collar, Don't bother trying to explain angel...I know exactly what goes on...
TREOS - "Virtigo" - You let this one slip through your finger tips, mine turn numb. Now there's no point to take back what was said, When my heart no longer beats. Hold me tight through your regrets and memories...
DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL - "The Best Deceptions" - I guess I should have heard of it from you, I guess I should have heard of it from you. Dont you see, Dont you see. That the charade is over. And all the best deceptions and the clever cover story awards go to you. So kiss me hard, cause this will be the last time that I let you...
TAKING BACK SUNDAY - "Your Own Disaster" - And I don't think that you know what you've been missing...Just forget me, it's that simple...
TREOS - "The Race" - So kiss me, and HIM, and all we had goodbye...
CURSIVE - "Driftwood - A Fairytale" - So he would buy her things, and kiss her to show that he was for real. And she would take those gifts and kisses though just stringing him along. She knew about those wooden boys, they seek empty love to fill the void...
BRANDNEW - "Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades" - Unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships...
STRAYLIGHT RUN - "For The Best" - And it takes more time, than I've ever had. Drains the life from me...makes me want to forget...But I was sacred to death of eternity, I was saved by grace, but destroyed by naievity...I lied to myself..and said it's for the best...
TAKING BACK SUNDAY - "The Blue Channel" - And I'm not so sure, if I'm sure of anything anymore. But this is the last night you'll be keeping secrets fromm me. You're so guilty it's disgusting, he's been sneaking underneath your sheets and your hands...have been in places that they probably shouldn't go...but dont worry sweetie, because I ALREADY KNOW...
Regardless, my pictures...they don't line your mirror...
TAKING BACK SUNDAY - "Eleven" - I can remember, parking lot nights. What did they mean to you?
Wrapping my arms around your body. Protecting and holding you, and holding you...
BLINK-182 - "Obvious" - I saw you again. I think you used me again...I saw you again. I know you fucked him again...
THE STARTING LINE - "Cheek to Cheek" - I feel like nothing in your hands, pretending not to care, but I care...and I care...dont say another word. Our time was worthless, and I tried, we started it over, and over again. As we let go. We held each other, held hands, held standards and grudges...I guess it goes to show, just what I've been going through. More nights of hugging my pillow...
BRANDNEW - "Jude Law and a Semester Abroad" - But I've got a plan. I'll drink for forty days and forty nights. A sip for every second hand tick, and everytime you fed the line "you mean so much to me" Without you...
CURSIVE - "The Recluse" - You're in my web now. I've come to wrap you up tight, until it's time to bite down...
SIMPLE PLAN - "Addicted" - Do you think I deserve this? I tried to make you happy. I did all that I could, but you left anyway...HEARTBREAKER...
THE STARTING LINE - "Drama Summer" - Guess I'll call or see you around, yeah. Guess I'll call or see you around...
AND TO TOP IT OFF...TWO SONGS THAT NEED BE IN FULL...
TAKING BACK SUNDAY - "Ballad of Sal Villaneuva" -
It's not that I don't trust you.
I just know what you've been up to.
And this dial tone is agreeing with everything I've had in mind.
You've got your high as a kite tricks in the bag.
So as his eyes move past your shoulders
And the shades start moving in the same direction
Do not worry I, well I won't say a thing
And you can't blame a girl for sticking to what she knows
I hope he takes his time and
I hope he keeps you eyes closed tight
And i hope that when he leaves you
You can still smell him on your sheets
Cause I can, I can
I hope he takes his time and
I hope he keeps you eyes closed tight
And i hope that when he leaves you
You can still smell him on your sheets
Cause I can, I can
If I could get to sleep then
I guess you could stop pretending
Because I wouldnt play along
If i didn't think you loved it
Well then I wouldn't play along and
You've got you high as a kite tricks in the bag
I hope he takes his time and
I hope he keeps you eyes closed tight
And i hope that when he leaves you
You can still smell him on your sheets
Cause I can, I can
I hope he takes his time and
I hope he keeps you eyes closed tight
And i hope that when he leaves you
You can still smell him on your sheets
Cause I can, I can
You down for selling me out
While I play dumb
It's cool cause I let you
Thought I'd never catch you
You say we're only friends
Yeah real good friends
I bet, I bet
You down for selling me out
While I play dumb
It's cool cause I let you
Thought I'd never catch you
You say we're only friends
Yeah real good friends
I bet, I bet
Forget you legs around my hips
Forget your hands pressed on my back
Forget the letters that I kept
This is another I wont send
Forget your lips, your eyes, your thighs
Forget our one last kiss good-bye
Forget me staking out your house
Forget I've got you figured out
Forget you legs around my hips
Forget your hands pressed on my back
Forget the letters that I kept
This is another I wont send
THE STARTING LINE - "Three's a Charm" -
Harder every time
And it starts to show
On my face, and on my wall
Where all her pictures fall
Getting over
A three leaf clover
That I thought was four
It's just the same as before
Forget me girl
I'm still recovering from her
It hurts so
I'm sorry girl
I'm in no shape to love
It's not you, it's her
An absent minded find
Was thought to be
A lucky break
But what's at steak
Is only dignity
Alone I'll stand
As they all dance
I've tangoed one too many times
The floor's just not for me
Forget me girl
I'm still recovering from her
It hurts so
I'm sorry girl
I'm in no shape to love
It's not you, it's her
So take it slow
Even stop every now and again
When I say when
Here we go
On our way
To sudden change
Turn the tables
To point the other way
And I'm dismayed
And if I stop breathing keep your arms around me
Forget me girl
I'm still recovering from her
It hurts so
I'm sorry girl
I'm in no shape to love
It's not you, it's her
YEAH...Try to function with all that going through your head. And that isn't even all of them...
I just don't understand it...HOW COULD YOU? I don't mean to dwell. You meant so much to me...and I thought you felt the same...You said you did...but your actions spoke louder. If you loved me the way you say you do. It never would have happened. You never would have sent me to that party. You would have let me stay, to be with you. But no, you wanted me gone, you practically pushed me out the door. You even told me to call you once I got back. What, give you time to get your clothes on...there was intent...you knew exactly what was going to happen and you welcomed it. You never would have put yourself in that position...nevermind stopping after it was too late...in mid fuck...you would have stopped it after the first kiss...or better yet...before. But no...it had to go all the way, all the fucking way...the first time you were with him...you love me...but I didn't get such treatment on our first time. It went all the way, before I even crossed your mind. I mean nothing to you...How Could I? Look at what you've done...I treated you like a fucking princess...fuck, no....like a FUCKING QUEEN...but that didn't stop you...
Whats worse...you lied about it...to my face. You looked me in the eye...and you lied about it. I disregarded instinct. I knew something happened the second HE answered the door. You might have lied your way out of it...but he couldn't. FUCK. I was suspicious from the minute I left your room to go you practically through me out...I had a feeling in my stomach...I fucking knew it...I fucking knew you'd betray me. YOU FUCKED HIM...But you know what I didn't know...how much it would hurt...I had no idea how it would kill. I hope it was worth it...
HOW COULD YOU? I dont even understand...If he "isn't cute at all" and "he meant nothing to you" then why did you fuck him. HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THAT???...If he meant nothing...I mean even less. You even said your friend is the one who thinks he's cute. So did you fucking test run him for her...YOU MAKE ME SICK...HOW COULD YOU? I dont care that you stopped half-way through...you let it begin...you let it happen...concious and willing...you let it all unfold...YOU FUCKED HIM. And I can't bare the thought of it...I hope your happy with what you've done...
I can't even trust you. It takes me so much to open up to girls...and this is why...because of girls like you. YOU FUCKED HIM. Forever and ever...he's your second. The second guy you were with. "First is the worst...SECOND IS THE BEST...and Third"...that's were I'd come in..."Bronze" Just good enough to count...just barely remembered...not even. Do you know how it feels to know I have to go back, and second guess everything you've ever said. I don't know think I know you at all...You're not the person I so stupidly thought you were...HOW COULD YOU?
There's water on my keyboard...but I'm not drinking anything...HOW COULD YOU? You never appreciated me for a second. I was always your dirty little secret. You kept me quiet. You never mentioned me to anyone. I was just your something on the side. You had/have a boyfriend...I don't even know...I can't be sure if you actually ended it with him, for me... He was all over your profile, and you are still in his. His pictures still line your wall...You still see him on the weekends...You two are going camping together...What am I supposed to think...Do you have any idea how insignificant I felt every time someone brought up the fact that he's everywhere...while I go un-mentioned. It's not fair...you never considered how I felt for a second.
Oh, and as of late...I hear you're planning to go to England over the summer with your new FUCK-Friend...Do you take me for a fool? Why would you do that...especailly after all this...Are you kidding? And then there was that night we went to help Q...and you dragged him into it, and we got into another fight over it...you pulled him out into the hall and dragged him into something he had no place in...I guess once you fuck someone they are yours for the using...And I especially loved how once you realized he was going to get into a fight (for no reason) you rubbed his chest and told him it was ok...you then went back to bed with me...you just dont get it...you're coniving...and manipulative...and you wonder why you're un-happy here, you make yourself that way. You use people, and hurt them...either that or FUCK THEM...then use them...either way, someone gets hurt. You need to cut the shit. It's time to grow-up THIS ISN'T HIGHSCHOOL! You need to reassess your morals, your loyalty, and figure out what your looking for. You fucked me over and sold me out without a second thought...then lied about it...You say you love me...I doubt it....I dont think you know what love is...
Whats worse...when think about you...I want to be with you...I want things to be all fine again...but I question your loyalty, and honesty...
I need to go...I've gotten myself all worked up again. FUCK. I don't know what I want...or need...I hate this...I'm questioning everything...
The part of me that recognizes you as a person feels sorry for the things said about you in this entree...But you did something that you can never take back, that you can never fix...And right now I dont know how to fucking handle that...
I'm done...for now...I'm sure I'll update later...
TAKING BACK SUNDAY - "Cute Without the E (Cut from the Team)" - Your lipstick, his collar, Don't bother trying to explain angel...I know exactly what goes on...
TREOS - "Virtigo" - You let this one slip through your finger tips, mine turn numb. Now there's no point to take back what was said, When my heart no longer beats. Hold me tight through your regrets and memories...
DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL - "The Best Deceptions" - I guess I should have heard of it from you, I guess I should have heard of it from you. Dont you see, Dont you see. That the charade is over. And all the best deceptions and the clever cover story awards go to you. So kiss me hard, cause this will be the last time that I let you...
TAKING BACK SUNDAY - "Your Own Disaster" - And I don't think that you know what you've been missing...Just forget me, it's that simple...
TREOS - "The Race" - So kiss me, and HIM, and all we had goodbye...
CURSIVE - "Driftwood - A Fairytale" - So he would buy her things, and kiss her to show that he was for real. And she would take those gifts and kisses though just stringing him along. She knew about those wooden boys, they seek empty love to fill the void...
BRANDNEW - "Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades" - Unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships...
STRAYLIGHT RUN - "For The Best" - And it takes more time, than I've ever had. Drains the life from me...makes me want to forget...But I was sacred to death of eternity, I was saved by grace, but destroyed by naievity...I lied to myself..and said it's for the best...
TAKING BACK SUNDAY - "The Blue Channel" - And I'm not so sure, if I'm sure of anything anymore. But this is the last night you'll be keeping secrets fromm me. You're so guilty it's disgusting, he's been sneaking underneath your sheets and your hands...have been in places that they probably shouldn't go...but dont worry sweetie, because I ALREADY KNOW...
Regardless, my pictures...they don't line your mirror...
TAKING BACK SUNDAY - "Eleven" - I can remember, parking lot nights. What did they mean to you?
Wrapping my arms around your body. Protecting and holding you, and holding you...
BLINK-182 - "Obvious" - I saw you again. I think you used me again...I saw you again. I know you fucked him again...
THE STARTING LINE - "Cheek to Cheek" - I feel like nothing in your hands, pretending not to care, but I care...and I care...dont say another word. Our time was worthless, and I tried, we started it over, and over again. As we let go. We held each other, held hands, held standards and grudges...I guess it goes to show, just what I've been going through. More nights of hugging my pillow...
BRANDNEW - "Jude Law and a Semester Abroad" - But I've got a plan. I'll drink for forty days and forty nights. A sip for every second hand tick, and everytime you fed the line "you mean so much to me" Without you...
CURSIVE - "The Recluse" - You're in my web now. I've come to wrap you up tight, until it's time to bite down...
SIMPLE PLAN - "Addicted" - Do you think I deserve this? I tried to make you happy. I did all that I could, but you left anyway...HEARTBREAKER...
THE STARTING LINE - "Drama Summer" - Guess I'll call or see you around, yeah. Guess I'll call or see you around...
AND TO TOP IT OFF...TWO SONGS THAT NEED BE IN FULL...
TAKING BACK SUNDAY - "Ballad of Sal Villaneuva" -
It's not that I don't trust you.
I just know what you've been up to.
And this dial tone is agreeing with everything I've had in mind.
You've got your high as a kite tricks in the bag.
So as his eyes move past your shoulders
And the shades start moving in the same direction
Do not worry I, well I won't say a thing
And you can't blame a girl for sticking to what she knows
I hope he takes his time and
I hope he keeps you eyes closed tight
And i hope that when he leaves you
You can still smell him on your sheets
Cause I can, I can
I hope he takes his time and
I hope he keeps you eyes closed tight
And i hope that when he leaves you
You can still smell him on your sheets
Cause I can, I can
If I could get to sleep then
I guess you could stop pretending
Because I wouldnt play along
If i didn't think you loved it
Well then I wouldn't play along and
You've got you high as a kite tricks in the bag
I hope he takes his time and
I hope he keeps you eyes closed tight
And i hope that when he leaves you
You can still smell him on your sheets
Cause I can, I can
I hope he takes his time and
I hope he keeps you eyes closed tight
And i hope that when he leaves you
You can still smell him on your sheets
Cause I can, I can
You down for selling me out
While I play dumb
It's cool cause I let you
Thought I'd never catch you
You say we're only friends
Yeah real good friends
I bet, I bet
You down for selling me out
While I play dumb
It's cool cause I let you
Thought I'd never catch you
You say we're only friends
Yeah real good friends
I bet, I bet
Forget you legs around my hips
Forget your hands pressed on my back
Forget the letters that I kept
This is another I wont send
Forget your lips, your eyes, your thighs
Forget our one last kiss good-bye
Forget me staking out your house
Forget I've got you figured out
Forget you legs around my hips
Forget your hands pressed on my back
Forget the letters that I kept
This is another I wont send
THE STARTING LINE - "Three's a Charm" -
Harder every time
And it starts to show
On my face, and on my wall
Where all her pictures fall
Getting over
A three leaf clover
That I thought was four
It's just the same as before
Forget me girl
I'm still recovering from her
It hurts so
I'm sorry girl
I'm in no shape to love
It's not you, it's her
An absent minded find
Was thought to be
A lucky break
But what's at steak
Is only dignity
Alone I'll stand
As they all dance
I've tangoed one too many times
The floor's just not for me
Forget me girl
I'm still recovering from her
It hurts so
I'm sorry girl
I'm in no shape to love
It's not you, it's her
So take it slow
Even stop every now and again
When I say when
Here we go
On our way
To sudden change
Turn the tables
To point the other way
And I'm dismayed
And if I stop breathing keep your arms around me
Forget me girl
I'm still recovering from her
It hurts so
I'm sorry girl
I'm in no shape to love
It's not you, it's her
YEAH...Try to function with all that going through your head. And that isn't even all of them...
I just don't understand it...HOW COULD YOU? I don't mean to dwell. You meant so much to me...and I thought you felt the same...You said you did...but your actions spoke louder. If you loved me the way you say you do. It never would have happened. You never would have sent me to that party. You would have let me stay, to be with you. But no, you wanted me gone, you practically pushed me out the door. You even told me to call you once I got back. What, give you time to get your clothes on...there was intent...you knew exactly what was going to happen and you welcomed it. You never would have put yourself in that position...nevermind stopping after it was too late...in mid fuck...you would have stopped it after the first kiss...or better yet...before. But no...it had to go all the way, all the fucking way...the first time you were with him...you love me...but I didn't get such treatment on our first time. It went all the way, before I even crossed your mind. I mean nothing to you...How Could I? Look at what you've done...I treated you like a fucking princess...fuck, no....like a FUCKING QUEEN...but that didn't stop you...
Whats worse...you lied about it...to my face. You looked me in the eye...and you lied about it. I disregarded instinct. I knew something happened the second HE answered the door. You might have lied your way out of it...but he couldn't. FUCK. I was suspicious from the minute I left your room to go you practically through me out...I had a feeling in my stomach...I fucking knew it...I fucking knew you'd betray me. YOU FUCKED HIM...But you know what I didn't know...how much it would hurt...I had no idea how it would kill. I hope it was worth it...
HOW COULD YOU? I dont even understand...If he "isn't cute at all" and "he meant nothing to you" then why did you fuck him. HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THAT???...If he meant nothing...I mean even less. You even said your friend is the one who thinks he's cute. So did you fucking test run him for her...YOU MAKE ME SICK...HOW COULD YOU? I dont care that you stopped half-way through...you let it begin...you let it happen...concious and willing...you let it all unfold...YOU FUCKED HIM. And I can't bare the thought of it...I hope your happy with what you've done...
I can't even trust you. It takes me so much to open up to girls...and this is why...because of girls like you. YOU FUCKED HIM. Forever and ever...he's your second. The second guy you were with. "First is the worst...SECOND IS THE BEST...and Third"...that's were I'd come in..."Bronze" Just good enough to count...just barely remembered...not even. Do you know how it feels to know I have to go back, and second guess everything you've ever said. I don't know think I know you at all...You're not the person I so stupidly thought you were...HOW COULD YOU?
There's water on my keyboard...but I'm not drinking anything...HOW COULD YOU? You never appreciated me for a second. I was always your dirty little secret. You kept me quiet. You never mentioned me to anyone. I was just your something on the side. You had/have a boyfriend...I don't even know...I can't be sure if you actually ended it with him, for me... He was all over your profile, and you are still in his. His pictures still line your wall...You still see him on the weekends...You two are going camping together...What am I supposed to think...Do you have any idea how insignificant I felt every time someone brought up the fact that he's everywhere...while I go un-mentioned. It's not fair...you never considered how I felt for a second.
Oh, and as of late...I hear you're planning to go to England over the summer with your new FUCK-Friend...Do you take me for a fool? Why would you do that...especailly after all this...Are you kidding? And then there was that night we went to help Q...and you dragged him into it, and we got into another fight over it...you pulled him out into the hall and dragged him into something he had no place in...I guess once you fuck someone they are yours for the using...And I especially loved how once you realized he was going to get into a fight (for no reason) you rubbed his chest and told him it was ok...you then went back to bed with me...you just dont get it...you're coniving...and manipulative...and you wonder why you're un-happy here, you make yourself that way. You use people, and hurt them...either that or FUCK THEM...then use them...either way, someone gets hurt. You need to cut the shit. It's time to grow-up THIS ISN'T HIGHSCHOOL! You need to reassess your morals, your loyalty, and figure out what your looking for. You fucked me over and sold me out without a second thought...then lied about it...You say you love me...I doubt it....I dont think you know what love is...
Whats worse...when think about you...I want to be with you...I want things to be all fine again...but I question your loyalty, and honesty...
I need to go...I've gotten myself all worked up again. FUCK. I don't know what I want...or need...I hate this...I'm questioning everything...
The part of me that recognizes you as a person feels sorry for the things said about you in this entree...But you did something that you can never take back, that you can never fix...And right now I dont know how to fucking handle that...
I'm done...for now...I'm sure I'll update later...