Self Sabotage?

[femmenerd]

Comments

[stultiloquentia]

Well, that hits a nerve. Check, check, check, me too. I've never been depressed, or clinically *anything*, and don't feel gloomy or hormonal now. But these past few months my inability to accomplish anything useful feels almost pathological. Mid-twenties academic burn-out? Fear of failure? Brain chemistry? Plain old ungodly sloth?

[femmenerd]

Oy, I'm sorry that you feel the similarly. And pathological feels like a good word for it. Blar.

[starstealingirl]

Oh, I'm so there. I've been doing some grad research stuff, but not at the rate where I'll be ready by the application due dates. I haven't been balancing that work at all with the job search, which I desperately need to do, and I haven't spent anywhere near the time doing either that I've spent reading fic.

And I was going to be in bed half an hour ago, but I haven't even come close to getting ready. I'm driving myself crazy with my own listlessness.

I don't know what else to tell you, except you're not alone.

[femmenerd]

I'm embarrassed by the ratio of time I've spent reading fic to the time I've spent working on grad school stuff. It's deplorable really.

It does feel better not to feel alone. I was kinda thinking that I was some kind of freak.

[the_doublestuf]

Erg... I don't have much more to say than that, an expression of empathy. You're asking yourself some tough questions - which I think is a good thing. I vaguely remember conversations about schedules helping - can you possibly make a schedule that seems authentic? That even slightly motivates?

And I'm back again to "erg." If I had a picture of Spike making sympathetic eyes, I'd use that too. As always, if I can help - you know, by amusing you with tales of crazy work people or bad dates - let me know.

[femmenerd]

Thank you sweetheart. For being so wonderfully Stuf-licious.

[guided_by_fire]

Hey, don't apologize. It's your journal. If you need to get stuff off your chest, this is as good a place as any to do it. I'm guessing no one minds. I certainly don't

[tasyfa]

^All extremely excellent advice and information. *hugs* Lu.

[femmenerd]

Thanks, Tas. Hugs are VERY helpful (even cyber ones). :)

[femmenerd]

Thank you, Paul

I really appreciate your thoughts. I think I need to just really spend some time with myself in my next two days off and try and take apart the pieces of this project. I think I'm going to lock myself up for a day and work on my statement of purpose because a) it's important and b) I NEED to really think about why I want this right now anyway.

Once again, thank you for your support.

[greenapricot]

Girl, I know exactly what you mean. Motivation is like this thing I once had and my lack of it really annoys me... I guess this is me commiserating then. *snugs*

[femmenerd]

*snugs* to you too. There definitely seems to be a rash mid twenties crisis going on...

[greenapricot]

Maybe that is what it is. hmm. Mine's not exactly mid twenties though. :D

[femmenerd]

Yeah, I know. Maybe yours just lay dormant for awhile before hitting you. Or you're just young and tormented at heart. *g*