Hello Journal. Long Entry. Possibly a Goodbye
Not sure if anyone reads this so I'm leaving it public to find out. Comment or throw a rock at me or something since I'm trying to decide whether to keep this journal or not.
No one really reads it (I don't think) and I'm having trouble with feeling "on display". The whole online journaling experience has been 95% negative for me to be honest. The really nasty side of people I had once thought of as my "friends" came out and I don't think I ever got over that.
I'm thinking about going to blogger...a new platform with a new group of people maybe the key to it all. I would like to make new friends.
So what's up with me?
Lets see... I'm running again. I'm up to a mile and 1/2. It's going to take a while. A very looong while for me to get back to 4 or 5 miles a day. But I'm working on it. I got cleared by the chiropractor to start again. I started walking at first and then found myself strong enough to do a 1/2 mile, then a mile and then a mile and 1/4 and finally Saturday I did a mile and 1/2. That's where I stand right now.
I'm running at the park more and less on the treadmill.
I bought myself new running shoes for Christmakwanzakah. I went and got them fitted at Louisiana Running Company on Canal. It was kind of interesting watching myself run on the TV (well my feet anyway). The girl that is part-owner of the place, Jennifer was really nice.
The store has group runs 2 nights a week. I'm thinking about joining them when I'm able to run 3 miles straight again. I'm still too weak right now. Not recovering anymore but having to build from scratch.
I want to make new friends. I want to do things with those friends that doesn't involve alcohol or standing around judging whether someone is cool enough to exist or not. I don't mind being pushed to work or try harder but I'd prefer not to be around people who do nothing but criticize. Positive people. Positive friends. People who are actually on my side is what I'm looking to meet.
Besides running, I'm renovating my condo. So far the bathroom is redone. Pictures possibly to come. The horrific wallpaper in the kitchen is almost completely down as well. I have one small section left of the 2 layers. Yes 2 layers of wallpaper! Under the xmas-y red, green, white and blue striped wallpaper in my kitchen was a layer of beige paper with what? Wait for it...roosters on it. Not kidding. This place was built in 1983 and I keep finding frightening little reminders of that.
My mother was quick with the quips: "Well the holidays are over so I guess it's time." She was referring to the top striped layer of course which indeed looked xmas-y.
I'm staring at sheet rock now. It needs to be sanded before it can be painted. I'm painting the cabinets first though.
In my decorating, I'm kind of...well...unGothing the place. No more black and white and gray. After much thought and more thought and further thought, I've come to the conclusion that I'm done with it. DONE. I'm done with the whole scene and everyone in it. I still like the music and clothes but I find myself unable to listen to it or wear the clothes without thinking about the horrible people I have come to know and dislike immensely. The 2 have become inseparable in my heart and mind.
Music-wise I've been listening to a lot of Enigma, Orbital, trance, electronica and the such. Stuff that I listen to to mellow out. Sip tea and watch the rain.
Tea. I'm cutting back on caffeine big time. I'm down to 1 cup of coffee a day. Next is to go 1/2 caff. I love coffee so much! I really do, but it makes me jumpy, jittery, moody etc. I drag ass until 9:30 AM because I'm not awake enough. That's probably not completely coffee's fault but it is definitely a factor. This is hard. Today is Day 6 with 1 cup of coffee. Detox apparently takes 2-9 days. I'm starting to level out now to my 1 cup a day, but after I finish this bag of coffee I'll have to step down again...Yikes!
So I quit smoking. I'm cutting back on coffee. Cutting back on alcohol (really should just cut it completely). Where have all my vices gone? Well I'm not strictly vegetarian anymore so there you go. I have one. LOL! But I still don't like red meat overmuch and I still like tofu. It's tasty goodness. Deal with it. :p
Teaching. Still plan to get certified, but I needed a break. I about burned myself out and found that I couldn't not study for the Praxis so I'm putting it off for the moment. Will pick it up again soon. Very soon. I want to get my running routine normal and some more renovations done before I dive back into my books.
Ok. That's about it. Time to go run and start my day.
Here's a song from my running playlist:
Enjoy! Have a beautiful day everyone!
No one really reads it (I don't think) and I'm having trouble with feeling "on display". The whole online journaling experience has been 95% negative for me to be honest. The really nasty side of people I had once thought of as my "friends" came out and I don't think I ever got over that.
I'm thinking about going to blogger...a new platform with a new group of people maybe the key to it all. I would like to make new friends.
So what's up with me?
Lets see... I'm running again. I'm up to a mile and 1/2. It's going to take a while. A very looong while for me to get back to 4 or 5 miles a day. But I'm working on it. I got cleared by the chiropractor to start again. I started walking at first and then found myself strong enough to do a 1/2 mile, then a mile and then a mile and 1/4 and finally Saturday I did a mile and 1/2. That's where I stand right now.
I'm running at the park more and less on the treadmill.
I bought myself new running shoes for Christmakwanzakah. I went and got them fitted at Louisiana Running Company on Canal. It was kind of interesting watching myself run on the TV (well my feet anyway). The girl that is part-owner of the place, Jennifer was really nice.
The store has group runs 2 nights a week. I'm thinking about joining them when I'm able to run 3 miles straight again. I'm still too weak right now. Not recovering anymore but having to build from scratch.
I want to make new friends. I want to do things with those friends that doesn't involve alcohol or standing around judging whether someone is cool enough to exist or not. I don't mind being pushed to work or try harder but I'd prefer not to be around people who do nothing but criticize. Positive people. Positive friends. People who are actually on my side is what I'm looking to meet.
Besides running, I'm renovating my condo. So far the bathroom is redone. Pictures possibly to come. The horrific wallpaper in the kitchen is almost completely down as well. I have one small section left of the 2 layers. Yes 2 layers of wallpaper! Under the xmas-y red, green, white and blue striped wallpaper in my kitchen was a layer of beige paper with what? Wait for it...roosters on it. Not kidding. This place was built in 1983 and I keep finding frightening little reminders of that.
My mother was quick with the quips: "Well the holidays are over so I guess it's time." She was referring to the top striped layer of course which indeed looked xmas-y.
I'm staring at sheet rock now. It needs to be sanded before it can be painted. I'm painting the cabinets first though.
In my decorating, I'm kind of...well...unGothing the place. No more black and white and gray. After much thought and more thought and further thought, I've come to the conclusion that I'm done with it. DONE. I'm done with the whole scene and everyone in it. I still like the music and clothes but I find myself unable to listen to it or wear the clothes without thinking about the horrible people I have come to know and dislike immensely. The 2 have become inseparable in my heart and mind.
Music-wise I've been listening to a lot of Enigma, Orbital, trance, electronica and the such. Stuff that I listen to to mellow out. Sip tea and watch the rain.
Tea. I'm cutting back on caffeine big time. I'm down to 1 cup of coffee a day. Next is to go 1/2 caff. I love coffee so much! I really do, but it makes me jumpy, jittery, moody etc. I drag ass until 9:30 AM because I'm not awake enough. That's probably not completely coffee's fault but it is definitely a factor. This is hard. Today is Day 6 with 1 cup of coffee. Detox apparently takes 2-9 days. I'm starting to level out now to my 1 cup a day, but after I finish this bag of coffee I'll have to step down again...Yikes!
So I quit smoking. I'm cutting back on coffee. Cutting back on alcohol (really should just cut it completely). Where have all my vices gone? Well I'm not strictly vegetarian anymore so there you go. I have one. LOL! But I still don't like red meat overmuch and I still like tofu. It's tasty goodness. Deal with it. :p
Teaching. Still plan to get certified, but I needed a break. I about burned myself out and found that I couldn't not study for the Praxis so I'm putting it off for the moment. Will pick it up again soon. Very soon. I want to get my running routine normal and some more renovations done before I dive back into my books.
Ok. That's about it. Time to go run and start my day.
Here's a song from my running playlist:
Click to viewEnjoy! Have a beautiful day everyone!