The last few days have been hard

[femgyrl]

I slept better last night even though I was worried that I wouldn't be able to because of something really mean & nasty that was written about me here in my personal journal space. I've been & am continuing to try to shake it off and just accept that some people need to continue to feel power over you by any means necessary. Keep kicking me while I'm down but I will rise stronger. Being in love with someone who continually tells you that you are toxic, makes you feel ugly & unlovable by telling you not to touch them or does not want to engage in physical contact with you and reminds you daily that you are a failure financially because they helped you pay for a few things along the way that you have paid them back for 10 fold is emotionally debilitating at times. I want to retreat & cocoon myself farther into myself. I can hardly remember the sunny, outgoing person I once was. I'm trying hard to embrace adventure, take chances, trust in myself that I'll be okay. I stayed because of love, because I saw such strength & heart in someone and it didn't matter that they couldn't see it because I knew it was there. Now it is just a hurtful & heartbroken mess and I have to learn to just walk away, shake it off and move away.
2016 has been a year of intense emotional pain filled with change and I'm ready for new beginnings and the pain & sadness to subside.