(no subject)
Trying to shake myself out of this numb brain state. Took a two hour nap, then watched House, which I'm absolutely loving btw, and now I'm sitting here staring at the screen. Nothing is happening. Maybe my brain is still sleeping? Maybe it just never woke up this morning? Maybe it was abducted by aliens who took a look, giggled and implanted it in a frog in the Bahamas. I don't know.
Anyway, since I don't seem able to write anything I'm gonna taunt you with things already written but not ready for posting. Teasers, yeah that's the word I'm looking for.
Blackout
He kept looking at Spike with dark eyes, irritation slowly making way for anger and disgust. Spike didn’t show up when he was expected, he often enough returned from an errand undone. At meetings he zoned out then suddenly started awake, eyes wild and confused. Spike knew what Angel was thinking but the truth was he hadn’t drunk a drop for weeks. He was feeling enough loss of control without adding that to the mix.
...
He couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Already Connor’s scent was blending in with the image of Spike naked and he felt like the damn deviant his father always accused him of being. He didn’t want to have sex with Connor. He didn’t want to have sex with Spike smelling like Connor. He did however very much want to have sex with Spike. Groaning he rubbed his face in a futile effort to cleanse his brain.
Drowning
“Shut up. You shut your fucking gob! Know how many times I had to listen to them laughing your name? ‘If your daddy knew, Spike. Maybe we should send him a picture.’ ‘Yeah, that’s it. Scream for him to come and save you. He doesn’t care. He told us we could keep you. ‘Pound him real good one time for me, boys,’ he said.’” He laughed at Angel’s shocked face. “Oh, I knew they were lying. I’m not stupid enough to believe they’d actually contacted you. But here’s the funny thing, all that time I hung on to the hope that you would come for me. Don’t know why since you haven’t cared one way or the other since you got that bloody soul, but I did. And then in the end I realised it was all some stupid dream in my head and even if you had known I was there you would in all likelihood have shrugged and told them it wasn’t your fucking problem.”
Untitled fireman/cop story
The young man looked down at the money and blinked, then thrust it back, shaking his head. “Bugger that, it’s on me.” He turned then looked back. “Beer? You sure? Cos that piss you lot have over here is just…”
“Just bring me the fucking beer.” He slammed the door in the boy’s face and rested his forehead against the wooden surface. God, why didn’t he just tell him to piss off? Slowly he raised his head and took in the surroundings. Fucking pigsty, that’s what this was. The whole place reeked of pathetic loneliness. The moulding leftovers and empty bottles perfected the atmosphere.
...
Liam grunted. “Dirty.”
“Yeah.” Spike couldn’t help laughing. Liam might be drunk, he might be fucked up as hell but he wasn’t dead. And at the moment that was enough to make him smile. “And not in the good way.”
“Funny. Funny man. You… flirt. Flirting with me.”
He chuckled. “Maybe.” Off with that stinky t-shirt and… God, he was pretty.
Liam let his head fall forward, rubbing his temple against Spike’s arm. “Cos I’m gay. So damn fucking gay.” He sobbed.
Spike crouched in front of him and tilted his head gently up, gazing into the drunk and reddened eyes. ”I know. It’s all right.”
Liam blinked, eyes wide and desperate. “Is it? Is it ok?”
Spike smiled although his heart was breaking. “Yeah. It is.”
Liam closed his eyes and started crying softly.
Just Watching
Finally they’re home and the boys go ahead, disappearing into Spike’s room before he even closes the front door. He can hear their muffled voices behind the closed door and then a happy laughter and it takes him a minute to realise it’s Spike’s. It feels like a punch to his stomach. Spike sounds so young, so childish in his happiness and he wants to cry because he can’t remember when he last heard him laugh like that.
...
Spike is standing by the window in the living room, hands thrust into his pockets. He’s deep in thought, so deep in fact that he doesn’t even notice Angel entering the room. He looks for some reason very young and lonely and Angel imagines taking him right there against the glass, ripping off his clothes, his skin white and cold as it presses into the see-through surface.
That teenage boys kissing thing
He wrapped thin arms around skinny knees and took in the scenery. Bodies, bodies everywhere. Big ones, small ones, female, male, kids. Beautiful bodies, old wrinkled bodies, should-never-be-seen-naked bodies.
One thing they had in common? Tan. A Perfect Tan.
William looked down. His own skin was white enough to dazzle anyone not wearing sunglasses. He sighed. Maybe if his mother didn’t insist on him wearing sunscreen 25 every time he went out he’d be able to get some colour and stop looking like a freak.
An outburst of laughter made him look up. There were some kids sprawled on a big rock in the middle of the lake, soaking up the sun, splashing their feet in the water. Looked fun. He thought he recognised some of them from school but he wasn’t sure. He’d only been there a couple of weeks before summer holiday began so he hadn’t really gotten to know anyone. Not that a couple of more weeks or months would have mattered. Or years, really.
Untitled sequel to Addictions
He'd gotten thinner and the makup girls sighed over the shadows under his eyes. His skin had taken on a grey tone and his coughing was getting worse every day. They'd even had to cut shooting a couple of times when the violent coughs shook his body, bringing up the taste of bile and blood in his mouth.
'Go see a doctor,' Joss had said and he'd nodded and agreed but instead went home and drank until he passed out in a pool of vomit on the bathroom floor.
That's all for now. Thank you and good night.
Anyway, since I don't seem able to write anything I'm gonna taunt you with things already written but not ready for posting. Teasers, yeah that's the word I'm looking for.
Blackout
He kept looking at Spike with dark eyes, irritation slowly making way for anger and disgust. Spike didn’t show up when he was expected, he often enough returned from an errand undone. At meetings he zoned out then suddenly started awake, eyes wild and confused. Spike knew what Angel was thinking but the truth was he hadn’t drunk a drop for weeks. He was feeling enough loss of control without adding that to the mix.
...
He couldn’t get out of there fast enough. Already Connor’s scent was blending in with the image of Spike naked and he felt like the damn deviant his father always accused him of being. He didn’t want to have sex with Connor. He didn’t want to have sex with Spike smelling like Connor. He did however very much want to have sex with Spike. Groaning he rubbed his face in a futile effort to cleanse his brain.
Drowning
“Shut up. You shut your fucking gob! Know how many times I had to listen to them laughing your name? ‘If your daddy knew, Spike. Maybe we should send him a picture.’ ‘Yeah, that’s it. Scream for him to come and save you. He doesn’t care. He told us we could keep you. ‘Pound him real good one time for me, boys,’ he said.’” He laughed at Angel’s shocked face. “Oh, I knew they were lying. I’m not stupid enough to believe they’d actually contacted you. But here’s the funny thing, all that time I hung on to the hope that you would come for me. Don’t know why since you haven’t cared one way or the other since you got that bloody soul, but I did. And then in the end I realised it was all some stupid dream in my head and even if you had known I was there you would in all likelihood have shrugged and told them it wasn’t your fucking problem.”
Untitled fireman/cop story
The young man looked down at the money and blinked, then thrust it back, shaking his head. “Bugger that, it’s on me.” He turned then looked back. “Beer? You sure? Cos that piss you lot have over here is just…”
“Just bring me the fucking beer.” He slammed the door in the boy’s face and rested his forehead against the wooden surface. God, why didn’t he just tell him to piss off? Slowly he raised his head and took in the surroundings. Fucking pigsty, that’s what this was. The whole place reeked of pathetic loneliness. The moulding leftovers and empty bottles perfected the atmosphere.
...
Liam grunted. “Dirty.”
“Yeah.” Spike couldn’t help laughing. Liam might be drunk, he might be fucked up as hell but he wasn’t dead. And at the moment that was enough to make him smile. “And not in the good way.”
“Funny. Funny man. You… flirt. Flirting with me.”
He chuckled. “Maybe.” Off with that stinky t-shirt and… God, he was pretty.
Liam let his head fall forward, rubbing his temple against Spike’s arm. “Cos I’m gay. So damn fucking gay.” He sobbed.
Spike crouched in front of him and tilted his head gently up, gazing into the drunk and reddened eyes. ”I know. It’s all right.”
Liam blinked, eyes wide and desperate. “Is it? Is it ok?”
Spike smiled although his heart was breaking. “Yeah. It is.”
Liam closed his eyes and started crying softly.
Just Watching
Finally they’re home and the boys go ahead, disappearing into Spike’s room before he even closes the front door. He can hear their muffled voices behind the closed door and then a happy laughter and it takes him a minute to realise it’s Spike’s. It feels like a punch to his stomach. Spike sounds so young, so childish in his happiness and he wants to cry because he can’t remember when he last heard him laugh like that.
...
Spike is standing by the window in the living room, hands thrust into his pockets. He’s deep in thought, so deep in fact that he doesn’t even notice Angel entering the room. He looks for some reason very young and lonely and Angel imagines taking him right there against the glass, ripping off his clothes, his skin white and cold as it presses into the see-through surface.
That teenage boys kissing thing
He wrapped thin arms around skinny knees and took in the scenery. Bodies, bodies everywhere. Big ones, small ones, female, male, kids. Beautiful bodies, old wrinkled bodies, should-never-be-seen-naked bodies.
One thing they had in common? Tan. A Perfect Tan.
William looked down. His own skin was white enough to dazzle anyone not wearing sunglasses. He sighed. Maybe if his mother didn’t insist on him wearing sunscreen 25 every time he went out he’d be able to get some colour and stop looking like a freak.
An outburst of laughter made him look up. There were some kids sprawled on a big rock in the middle of the lake, soaking up the sun, splashing their feet in the water. Looked fun. He thought he recognised some of them from school but he wasn’t sure. He’d only been there a couple of weeks before summer holiday began so he hadn’t really gotten to know anyone. Not that a couple of more weeks or months would have mattered. Or years, really.
Untitled sequel to Addictions
He'd gotten thinner and the makup girls sighed over the shadows under his eyes. His skin had taken on a grey tone and his coughing was getting worse every day. They'd even had to cut shooting a couple of times when the violent coughs shook his body, bringing up the taste of bile and blood in his mouth.
'Go see a doctor,' Joss had said and he'd nodded and agreed but instead went home and drank until he passed out in a pool of vomit on the bathroom floor.
That's all for now. Thank you and good night.