Well, shit.
It's December 31st. Around this time I've usually done a Year in Review fic list. This year I'm not bothering because I only posted one. ONE fic! I've never felt like such a total failure in fandom. I know I've been productive on the original writing front for school etc but that doesn't really do much to make me feel any better about this. I love writing fan fiction, I love being a part of fandom and want to contribute to keeping it alive and fun and a special place. So this has been an awful year for me as a fangirl because this is what I do. I don't make gifs or say anything smart or do art or write songs or meta. I write fanfic. Except when I don't, like now.
I've had a tradition the last three years to post a fic on New Year's Eve. Well, I don't have anything finished. I have folders upon folders with Wincest and Jsquared and even Spangel and one SpangelWincest but they're all stuck somewhere in the not quite there state. This is both frustrating and disappointing because every time I read them over I think 'This is actually good stuff, I want people to read this' but no matter how I try I can't wrap them up. I've just been staring at a 16K J2 fic that's funny and sweet and might turn even hot if they just start behaving. But it needs at least 10K more to be anything more than just a teaser. *sighs* Other things start out good but end up in Bumfuck, Nowhere.
And the new year doesn't really look too promising either because I have 4 different classes plus a masters thesis (story) to do and I don't know why but it's really hard to write fanfic while I'm writing original Icelandic stories. I hate that I'm letting RL get in way of my online life but at the same time I know I need to take my original writing seriously if this is something I want to do. And it is.
Why doesn't the day have more hours? And why can't my muse have a split personality, one for fanfic and the other for original writing? Is that too much to ask?
I've had a tradition the last three years to post a fic on New Year's Eve. Well, I don't have anything finished. I have folders upon folders with Wincest and Jsquared and even Spangel and one SpangelWincest but they're all stuck somewhere in the not quite there state. This is both frustrating and disappointing because every time I read them over I think 'This is actually good stuff, I want people to read this' but no matter how I try I can't wrap them up. I've just been staring at a 16K J2 fic that's funny and sweet and might turn even hot if they just start behaving. But it needs at least 10K more to be anything more than just a teaser. *sighs* Other things start out good but end up in Bumfuck, Nowhere.
And the new year doesn't really look too promising either because I have 4 different classes plus a masters thesis (story) to do and I don't know why but it's really hard to write fanfic while I'm writing original Icelandic stories. I hate that I'm letting RL get in way of my online life but at the same time I know I need to take my original writing seriously if this is something I want to do. And it is.
Why doesn't the day have more hours? And why can't my muse have a split personality, one for fanfic and the other for original writing? Is that too much to ask?