The Happening (small spoilers)
Oh...
My...
FUCKINGGOD...
I have seen many, many poor films.
Many movies that made me really regret giving my money to the Film Industry.
Nothing, no terror, no hackery, no Action Extravaganza, no Mindless Gore-Fest...
No film has ever made me regret my existence more than Shyamalan's The Happening.
This movie is about a bizarre plague of suicides that rip across the Northeastern U.S.
It is my suspicion that the plague was caused by people coming to see this film.
When I think of the horrorshow that our culture must have become, the true, base, empty, soulless shithole that we must represent in order to justify any single person thinking this movie was going to be any good...I want to kill myself too...
I don't usually do movie reviews...or critiques...or anything like that at all...
But I do do movie warnings:
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY...DO NOT SEE THIS FILM!
If you love your children, or ever want to have them, do not see this film! Future generations will be scarred by the complete lack of any redeeming value...
I would rather stab myself in the groin with a fiberglass machete than watch this film again.
I would rather hang myself to death by my own hair than have watched it already...
This film is worse than being forced to vote for George Bush III...
Please...PLEASE...if you value your life, mind or sense of self-worth, PLEASE refrain from ever even glancing at the title of The Happening.
If you watch The Happening, the terrorists win.
Every time someone watches The Happening and angel loses it's wings and a kitten is murdered...
Every time The Happening is screened, a small tear between our world and that of Cthulu is created, and unknowable horror slips in.
Please...I beg of you...
please...
My...
FUCKINGGOD...
I have seen many, many poor films.
Many movies that made me really regret giving my money to the Film Industry.
Nothing, no terror, no hackery, no Action Extravaganza, no Mindless Gore-Fest...
No film has ever made me regret my existence more than Shyamalan's The Happening.
This movie is about a bizarre plague of suicides that rip across the Northeastern U.S.
It is my suspicion that the plague was caused by people coming to see this film.
When I think of the horrorshow that our culture must have become, the true, base, empty, soulless shithole that we must represent in order to justify any single person thinking this movie was going to be any good...I want to kill myself too...
I don't usually do movie reviews...or critiques...or anything like that at all...
But I do do movie warnings:
FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY...DO NOT SEE THIS FILM!
If you love your children, or ever want to have them, do not see this film! Future generations will be scarred by the complete lack of any redeeming value...
I would rather stab myself in the groin with a fiberglass machete than watch this film again.
I would rather hang myself to death by my own hair than have watched it already...
This film is worse than being forced to vote for George Bush III...
Please...PLEASE...if you value your life, mind or sense of self-worth, PLEASE refrain from ever even glancing at the title of The Happening.
If you watch The Happening, the terrorists win.
Every time someone watches The Happening and angel loses it's wings and a kitten is murdered...
Every time The Happening is screened, a small tear between our world and that of Cthulu is created, and unknowable horror slips in.
Please...I beg of you...
please...