Grim Olympian Tales: Steal Me A Little Something (Part III)
Hermes, unknown to them, was currently in the Underworld for the third time, promising Charon more Italian suits (courtesy of Zeus, of course). He traveled through the realm, already knowing where his son would be. And there he was, sitting in boredom on a flat rock and using a knife to dig out dirt from his shoes.
“Well, well, well. If it isn’t my father,” Luke drawled.
Hermes inwardly winced, remembering just earlier, Triton similarly greeting him in the same way.
“I’m hearing through the grapevine that you’ve been busy. Someone I should know about?” the glint in his son’s eyes was definitely not just his imagination.
“Maybe,” he answered guardedly.
Luke chuckled, “I won’t let you have him…Or that was what I would have said, had I still been alive and all. But being dead,” he made a disappointed sound. “Well, the dead can’t conquer, can they? Eh, not unless you’re Hades or a close relative like Nico.”
Hermes struggled to walk a few steps forward, the troubles between father and son still not quite settled.
“I’m not going to give you my blessing, if that’s what you’re after,” Luke said bitterly. “So don’t even bother asking.”
“I wasn’t going to,” he said softly. “I was going to make it a point to come here and tell you I was going to steal him away from you, regardless of love, animosity, or bonds between us, my son. Selfishness runs deep in this family, and I’m no more innocent of that than you.”
“Percy might be though,” Luke said nonchalantly, flipping the knife into the air and then catching it by the blade. “Petty little things might escape him, but the bigger things show that big heart of his he really shouldn’t have in our world.”
Hermes chanced an embrace and was reassured by the drop of the knife and his son’s own arms reluctantly closing around him.
“Thanks, at least, for telling me in person,” Luke muttered into his chest.
“I didn’t want you finding out from anyone else…and because you of all people would understand. You loved him too, and you had a right to know,” Hermes murmured.
“And because you are my son and you had a right to him first.”
Luke was quiet before he pulled back slightly to look his father in the eye.
“You’ve already been forgiven for not being there, for everything else…but I won’t forgive you for stealing Percy.”
Hermes nodded in understanding, “Then I suppose that’s another barrier to add between us…but maybe we can work through that one in time, hm?”
“Don’t count on it. Not for a long time.”
Well…at least his son wasn’t completely pissed off at him. And it looked like the past was finally catching up.
“You are the God of Messengers, Travelers, Communication, Medicine, Inventions, and Merchants. You could swear constant contact with him, or for gods’ sakes, good health care. Invent something for him. Go vacation with him, or send him around the world. Buy him something. Anything but stealing everything you can get your hands on. You’re not just the God of Thieves.”
“Right, right…I kind of got sidetracked a bit…”
Luke sighed and shoved Hermes away, pushing him in the direction of the exit.
“Get out already.”
Hermes shrugged and transported himself back to his original goal.
“Should I be worried about this gathering?” Hermes appeared suddenly, glancing quickly over the group, who quickly turned silent at the sight of him.
Annabeth shot up to her feet and stomped over to him, surprising everyone when she jabbed her finger several times into his chest, in sync with the enunciation of her words.
“You. Idiot. God. Immortal or not, you better stop harassing my best friend or I’ll come after you with my mother’s spear! I refuse to let you mess around with his feelings like every other god with any other mortal!”
Hermes’ hand quickly snatched her hand midway to its final jab, too fast to be even seen, and Annabeth looked up at him in surprise, flinching at the serious look on the god’s face. The sheer ferocity and the absolute somberness on his face brought Annabeth to a standstill and complete speechlessness.
At that moment, he looked without a doubt the god he is, without the divine aura that would have disintegrated her. There was no hesitation in her mind about his godliness, and he showed it without reservation or arrogance, but mere verity.
Clarisse whistled, “And here I thought that rash thinking was all on my side of the family.”
“I-I…Please forgive me, Lord Hermes. I meant no -” at his knowing look, she cringed. “I did mean disrespect, but only because I really care for Percy and I don’t want to see him hurt.”
He nodded understandingly, still looking at her in total grimness.
“There is a promise sworn on the River Styx that I must fulfill, so please step aside, Miss Chase, and allow me to see to young Perseus personally.”
She wordlessly stepped aside, eyes wide with the admission of a sworn oath on the River Styx, and watched the god walk up to Percy solemnly, perfectly divine until Percy ruined the image, having finally snapped out of his daze.
“Idiot!” Percy frowned, slapping him upside the head. “You choose now, of all times, to actually look and act like a real god. And to intimidate my friend too! Don’t be such a jerk!”
“Peeeerrrccy,” Hermes whined, pouting and clutching his head in pain. “That hurt. I’m sorry though! Really, I am. And I wasn’t trying to intimidate her! I swear! I was just trying to…Oh Hades! I’m still a god here, you know!”
And just like that, the godly vision disappeared, and he’d somehow transformed from god to seeming like a normal guy instantaneously like whiplash. The solemnity of a god vanished, and Hermes even seemed playful and teasing. The change was jarring and shocking to the other three in the room, who were also astonished at Percy’s audacity to hit and talk back casually to Hermes.
“I can’t believe you hit me,” Hermes grumbled. Huh. Now that he thought about it, Percy wasn’t usually so abrasive, and wouldn’t dare hit or even talk back that much to any god. “Even your usual casualness with me and the other gods isn’t this bad. That’s it. You are no longer hanging around this girl!” he pointed at Clarisse.
“Hey!”
Percy glowered at him, “It might have to do with me being frazzled and crazed out of my mind!”
“Ah. Now that you mention it, you do look a little peaky. Are you alright?”
The only male demigod in the room screamed in frustration.
“It’s this! It’s all of this!” Percy waved his hands haphazardly around him, indicating the objects littering his room. He dragged the god behind him and sat him down on the farthest bed from the others and the door of the cabin. He opened his mouth to continue, when he and Hermes snapped their heads to the side and saw the others leaning forward intently, watching them keenly. Seeing them looking back, the three averted their stares and mostly whipped their heads to face the ceiling, whistling innocently.
“I told you, this is all a very sweet thing. I’m validating your hard work and your feelings. Jeez, I sounded like a psych textbook for a second,” Percy muttered that last part to himself. “Anyway, all of this, um…man, I didn’t think it would be this hard to explain…”
Hermes held up a hand, “You don’t need to. You just don’t want it. I think I kind of figured that out before now. And a little blond birdie told me too…Look, that’s why I came back here right now.”
Percy looked to him attentively, despite the obvious exhaustion lining his entire body and the weariness plain on his face. Hermes took the hand he’d held up and gently placed it against Percy’s cheek, who reluctantly leaned against it gratefully, eyes fluttering and wanting to close but just not yet there. Any other time, Percy would have moved away or not easily accepted the show of affection, especially with the situation as it was between the two…but he was just really, really tired.
“You don’t take stress very well, do you?” he murmured.
Percy lightly snorted, a sardonic grin flitting on his face before lightening back into a tired one.
“Not in certain situations.”
“Sleep. We can talk later,” he encouraged, curving his palm more to accommodate Percy’s face and then moving him to lie down onto the bed, and bringing the boy’s head up to use his shoulder as a pillow while he snaked his arm around Percy’s neck. Percy was already fast asleep; forgetting the other three in the cabin with them, while Hermes just ignored their presence.
Annabeth, Clarisse, and Grover? Stayed right where they were, getting comfortable. Why would they leave? They got ringside seats, and it was probably what the gods were doing anyway. They’ve done it for years.
Voyeurism was totally an immortal’s pastime.
And when the two woke up, thankfully very close in time, Hermes decided to go straight to the issue.
“Percy, earlier when I’d come back, before I was interrupted, I was going to offer to take everything back. Everything here, I will not only get rid of it for you, but give it back to everyone. On one condition.”
Percy eyed him suspiciously.
“What condition?”
Hermes confidently smiled at him, “I would like to take you out to a restaurant for dinner. That’s it. No strings attached, simply a normal dinner.”
It seemed so normal and simple. It was hard to believe that Hermes, a god, would want a straightforward dinner, with no catches involved. And he couldn’t find anything at fault with the request.
“You really will take everything back just for a dinner?” Percy asked dubiously.
“Yes. I swear,” Hermes was still confident.
“Nothing fancy,” Percy grumbled. “I’ll feel out of place…”
“Brilliant! You got it, Percy. I’ll start on everything now, you take another nap, and by the time I’m done we can go,” Hermes beamed at him.
“Chill on the happy pill,” Percy grouchily mumbled, already sleepy and unaware of the words leaving his mouth.
“Sorry, part of my daily vitamin regime,” Hermes sarcastically answered, rolling his eyes and getting off the bed, in turn adjusting Percy in a more comfortable position.
He stood up straight and turned, blinking at the presence of the other three sitting on chairs in a row nearby and popcorn bags in their hands.
“Should put this on IMAX,” Grover shoved another handful of popcorn into his mouth, still watching. “Hm, popcorn. Now we need some enchiladas, apples, and aluminum in here.”
Hermes ignored them and went to start delivering back the stolen items. Leaving Poseidon’s Trident for last, he dreaded walking through the underwater palace. And the closer he got to the throne room, the more he got anxious, until he was practically petrified and didn’t want to move an inch closer.
And his hand was already on one of the doors.
“Boo.”
He whirled around angrily, ready to yell at Triton and tell off the smug bastard.
His plans were cut short and immediately modified.
“Uhhhhhhhh…um?”
“Want to say that again?” Poseidon deadpanned.
“Um?”
An hour later, there was loud pounding against Cabin Three’s door. Rolling his eyes and sharing a look with the other three still in his room, Percy went to the door and was ready to make a sarcastic remark, but the traumatized god on the other side gave him pause.
“Drowned rat in season?” he said anyway.
Hermes’ jaw trembled and he tried to speak, but he couldn’t say anything. Instead, the God of Thieves fell forward onto Percy and Percy’s arms snapped up to catch him, stumbling with the weight and bulk of the man.
“What happened to you?” Percy grunted, trying to drag Hermes to his new bed and ignoring the stares from his friends.
“Trident. Poseidon. Hell in the waters.”
Hermes whimpered.
Percy didn’t know whether to laugh or wince in sympathy. Instead, he cleared his throat and knew just what would get the man up and ready to go.
“You know…we still have dinner tonight. Unless you want to reschedule?”
Hermes immediately perked up and his drowned appearance quickly changed until he was dry and wearing black slacks and a white dress shirt, the top button unbuttoned and showcasing his neck and a hint of his chest.
“Well, good to know you’re suddenly reenergized.”
“Always ready with the sarcasm.”
“Let’s go already,” Percy exhaled slowly, refusing to let him get to him, though his lips unwittingly twitched upwards.
Hermes threaded his arm through Percy’s and vanished, leaving three teens to be ignored. Again. And alone, while they were at it.
“So…you put that tracking spell on him, Grover?” Annabeth whipped out her invisibility cap.
“Yep.”
“Excellent,” Clarisse cackled.
And the three of them tracked the unusual couple to the most stupidest place to take a person out to. On a date.
“It’s not a date!”
“Yes it is, Seaweed Brain!”
“It’s not!”
Well, Percy was in denial and they obviously knew better than him. Fortunately for Hermes, though, Percy didn’t think like they did. So Percy thought McDonald’s was an excellent place to eat dinner at. Even if he didn’t think it was a date.
“You sure it isn’t too cavalier?” Hermes shrugged.
Percy snorted, “Are you kidding? I would feel awkward anywhere else. I totally fit in here.”
“I figured,” Hermes grinned. “You said you’d rather go somewhere not extravagant. So I went with the complete opposite.”
“But now you don’t fit,” Percy rolled his eyes, looking at him pointedly.
“Guess again,” Hermes’s grin turned sly, as was his usual. “To the left corner, at the counter wall in the back, and in line second to last.”
“Alright, alright. You made your point,” Percy huffed, refusing to look at each of the areas he’d pointed out.
Percy was surprised to find he really enjoyed the dinner and more that he’d enjoyed Hermes’ presence. The god had a wicked humor, though at times his humor almost reminded him of Luke’s…
“Pleasantly shocked that you find you like me?” Hermes asked innocently.
“Uh, yeah -no! I’m not shocked about that,” Percy glared, though Hermes already had a smug look on his face and he was strangely blushing himself. “I’m shocked I actually liked going out with you.”
“Good,” Hermes nodded certainly. “That means we can do this again.”
“Wait one second!” Percy’s glare intensified. “You do not just make decisions without asking me first.”
“So that means we’re the ‘make decisions together’ type of couple?”
Percy tossed a fry at his head.
“I didn’t say that! Look,” Percy pinched the bridge of his nose. “Alright, I’ll admit I like your company, this was enjoyable, and I might be easing a bit to the idea of…dating you.” The cringe was amusing, but not heartwarming for Hermes. “I’m not saying okay, but…maybe. Maybe? Will a ‘maybe’ work for you?”
At least the tentativeness was adorable.
“Of course, Percy. Better than a no,” and Percy wasn’t sure, but Hermes actually looked like he was smiling shyly at him.
That was just plain odd.
“And just to let you know, I’m pretty sure I stole your first date.”
Percy groaned.
Later, once they were back at Camp Half-Blood, Hermes led Percy to his cabin’s door.
“This is where I leave you,” Hermes murmured.
Percy unconsciously tensed, getting a suspicious premonition. Nodding sharply, he went to go open his door when Hermes pulled him back and leaned him against the door, pressing up against Percy as the god’s lips suddenly descended onto his own. Hermes’ lips were firm, but not forceful. The kiss was closed-mouthed and simple, and not at all pressing or too bold or anything at all that would freak Percy out.
“Oh…”
Hermes smirked, “Is that all you have to say?”
Percy snapped out of his daze and hit Hermes’ shoulder lightly.
“Shut up,” Percy mumbled. “Why did you ask me out on a…date anyway? I didn’t think going out to eat was something you’d care to do with someone. Or any god or goddess. In fact, I thought you and the others just preferred a nice roll in the sack,” he ended derisively.
Hermes took it in stride, “Sure, sex is awesome. You offering?”
Percy blanched, “Stop messing around!”
“Percy, going to a restaurant or to eat is a normal thing couples do, right? Mortal couples, at least. Mind you, I think your father was into that kind of thing as well, most definitely with your mother. I just thought it was a typical date couples usually do. I made the dinner the condition because I wanted that. I wanted…to feel like we were a couple and act like one.”
“Blunt honesty is a horrible trait in you gods,” Percy weakly said, keeping to sarcasm because he wasn’t sure on how to respond to that.
“But it is honesty nonetheless,” Hermes calmly stated.
Percy winced, but looked back tiredly.
“Then I’ll be just as direct. After that kiss, I might just be leaning a little bit more towards the idea of saying yes to you.”
The demigod swung his door open and stepped in, slamming the door behind him. Hermes’ grin returned full-force, and the god leaned his forehead against the door, holding his hands up to place them on either side.
“Hey, Percy,” he lightly called out. “I stole your first kiss.”
There was a bang on the door, prompting Hermes to back away laughing, knowing Percy had heard and thrown something at the door.
And as this happened, three spies watched eagerly, two of them Iris-messaging their Olympian parent. Both Hermes and Percy were blissfully unaware of the controlled chaos on Mount Olympus for the moment, though who knew how long that would last.
Because apparently, Percy’s admission was considered a de facto yes and Aphrodite won the jackpot for that. “True love will always win out,” was her smug proclamation. That was ignoring the plenty of others who had betted on a yes, because Aphrodite liked to think she was the only one who mattered.
Then there were bets on items. Zeus went high-roller and bet that his brother Poseidon would be the only one with the item Hermes would be reluctant to steal and be easily freaked out by (though, he did have a minor bet on his Italian suit -unhappy he may be at losing it, the payback was more than double what the suit cost and he was very happy about that). Ares had bet on his own spear, completely losing when Hermes had stolen his bike instead (“Dude, everyone knows your ride is your pride.” “Shut up, Apollo, or I’ll run you over with my pride.”). Plenty of people had bet on their own items, making easy money. The moneymakers of the night? Hades and Persephone, both of them together raking up the money as they won the majority of the bets.
And the last of the huge bets was whether or not the two would kiss. Strangely only Ares and Athena won the bet (thanks to some helpful anonymous contacts). Not even Aphrodite, though she proclaimed the kiss shouldn’t count because “Hermes kissed Perseus and the human just stood there,” had that bet. It was also important to note that it was the only bet that had Poseidon bothered enough to upset him into betting, and bet with a mad gleam in his eyes that was almost murderous and a tense body that had everyone keeping an arm’s length away at all times.
He’d lost his Trident for a week.
Both Ares and Athena decided to split the time with the Trident and the money, excited for a new weapon toy but also needing the money because of the lost bet on his spear and her needing to renovate her house.
And all this brought to you by Hephaestus TV.
Started 3/21/10 -Completed 3/29/10
A/n: I also have a challenge for all PJO writers. I’m tired of seeing Percabeth all the time. There needs to be some variety. So look on my profile for the details of the Olympian Challenge, where you have a choice of the 12 plus 2 Olympian gods to pair with Percy.