Grim Olympian Tales: Steal Me A Little Something (Part II)
He tried to stash the newest addition to his unwanted growing collection under his bed, when he saw the Trident was too long to hide under it. And that Uncle Hades’ Helmet was making the darkness under his bed somehow grow darker and become creepy, and that Uncle Zeus’ Bolt was beginning to burn a hole through the middle of his bed, already having destroyed his bag.
Wincing he hesitantly stashed the Bolt in the middle of a bouquet of flowers in a vase set in the corner of the cabin, the Helmet on his dresser, and the Trident inclined against the wall across from his bed.
He fled his room to seek out Chiron in the centaur’s study, who grimaced at the tale.
“I’m not sure what to say, Percy. This is unexpected, and I’m not sure what to make of Hermes’ actions. I should say, though, that perhaps it may be wise of you to refrain from speaking of any more objects Hermes may steal -and just say that you don’t want him stealing for you.”
Percy thumped his head heavily onto Chiron’s desk.
“I’m just uncertain about all this though. Gods aren’t supposed to steal other gods’ symbols of power. That Hermes would do so, God of Thieves or no, would be an outrage,” Chiron frowned, standing by the window and looking up thoughtfully.
“Knock, knock,” Dionysus yawned, throwing open the door to the study. “Couldn’t help overhearing you. The items are not exactly being stolen per se.”
The god of wine stole Chiron’s chair and plopped his feet onto the desk.
“Zeus heard from Hera what Hermes was planning on doing, so he let the idiot steal the Lightning Bolt. Then he told his brothers just in case something like this would happen. And then it spread to the other Olympian gods, who are all amused and some that are downright pleased and giddy with the events.”
Read: Aphrodite.
“So now everyone is letting Hermes get away with taking their things and practically giving them away. Well, except your father, that is. Oh, and there’s a running bet on what else Hermes will steal and since everything is free game…” Mr. D shrugged. “And there’s a bet on whether or not you’ll give in to Hermes.”
Percy choked on his breath before his eyes rolled into his head and he fainted.
“Well, that’s that,” Dionysus cheerfully leaned back and made a Diet Coke appear in his hand.
Chiron stared incredulously at him.
Meanwhile, Hermes was making good on his promise to Percy to steal certain gods and goddesses’ prized possessions. He struck out with both Demeter and Athena, neither having anything of extreme value to themselves. Well, there was Persephone for Demeter, but somehow he got the feeling Hades wouldn’t let him get away with that one.
He hit gold with Aphrodite, taking her prized magic belt and was about to immediately put it on top of Percy’s bed, when he’d changed his mind about it. The boy was strangely absent.
Then he was on a roll, taking Apollo’s lyre, Artemis’ silver bow, Hestia’s Pandora’s Jar, Hephaestus’ beloved anvil (who oddly left it in plain view, and whistled happily as he walked off to somewhere while Hermes stole it), Persephone’s black and white pearl necklace, and his most valued and favorite yet -one of Dionysus’ personal wine creations. And just because he did so well, he decided to go back and take some red poppies from Demeter’s private garden to go with the wine. And since Athena didn’t really have anything, he went back and defaced her home in Mount Olympus, scribbling everywhere with a permanent black marker, writing ‘Nyah, Nyah!’ on all her mirrors, and then stole her helmet just to steal something of hers.
He was on his way to Ares’ when he’d forgotten about Hera. Her most cherished object was actually a garden. A tree in a garden. With certain golden apples.
Squaring his shoulders and voiding his face, he headed straight for the Garden of Hesperides -a place full of bad memories and ghosts. And time for him to face them.
It took no trouble for him to speed pass the dragon, even with its many heads, and steal an apple before speeding back. His past was settled there, and he wasn’t quite ready to face it. Not just yet.
Depositing the apple into Percy’s room, he headed to Ares’ quickly so he could fulfill one more errand before claiming Percy.
The war god had laid out his bloody spear clear on a gilded table in the middle of the entrance to his home. But Hermes bypassed it and headed to the garage, gleefully finding his prize and riding away.
So Ares finished his shower, smugly contented in expecting his spear to be absent, only to be confused to still see its presence. Shrugging, he went to his garage to ride over to Aphrodite’s, only to roar in anger to see his precious chariot in Harley mode gone.
Hermes chuckled satisfactorily, parking the bike inside Percy’s cabin and still wondering at his absence. Leaving again, just as Percy finally entered wearily, he headed back to the Underworld. His visit to the Garden of Hesperides reminded him of one more thing. He wasn’t just going to steal Percy’s heart…he was also stealing Percy himself. From someone very dear to them both.
Percy, having just missed Hermes, stared incredulously at his room. The entire cabin was literally, literally covered with the possessions of certain gods and goddesses. The running motor of Ares’ bike being the main attraction, as it roared and shook angrily, just like its owner. Panicking, he tried to shuffle things around to make his room look less incriminating, ignoring his dresser that had transformed and seemed to be painted black with the shadows, the extensions of which writhe and twisted menacingly, looking like a monstrous gothic creation -Uncle Hades’ Helmet of Darkness at the center of attention…and Aphrodite’s sleek red magic belt tied around it in a nice little bow. He was frantically working on Ares’ bike when there was a knock on his door.
“Percy? You looked a little freaked out earlier. We wanted to check on you,” the voice of his friend Annabeth called out hesitantly.
“Ah, don’t come in here! I’m…redecorating! It’s a mess!” he yelled, his voice coming out as more of a scream.
“Move over, Wise Girl,” Clarisse’s voice was muffled on the other side.
There was some shuffling of feet outside his door.
“You are not -!”
Bam! His door broke off its hinges and Clarisse was standing on the other side, leg still poised in a kicking stance and her hands up in fists in front of her face.
“…kicking down the door…”Annabeth trailed off.
The group behind the door blinked, and Percy held up his hands, unable to wipe the panicked look on his face and not look guilty.
“Is that my dad’s bike?” Clarisse barked out, straightening up and staring at him.
“It wasn’t me!” he squeaked out.
Annabeth, Grover, and Clarisse slipped inside, closing the door gently behind them, lest it break off completely.
“It certainly looks like it. What in Hades is going on, Seaweed Brain?” Annabeth forced calm into her voice. “You know what happened the last time you were accused of stealing a god’s symbol of power, and now you actually did? And more than once? After the trouble last time -oh gods! Is that Zeus’ Master Bolt in your vase?! Not again!”
The Lightning Bolt crackled angrily in the vase, creating cracks in it and already having killed and dried out the flowers, and starting to actually vaporize them.
“I swear, this isn’t what it looks like,” Percy’s eyes were wide and wild, and he was practically jittery, glancing about nervously and twitching erratically. “It’s all Hermes’ fault!”
“First my dad and now you gonna blame Hermes for all this? Nice try, Kelp Head,” Clarisse chortled. “Oh, this is killing me!”
“Not funny, Clarisse,” Annabeth glared at the other girl. “Something’s going on.”
“Maybe we should actually ask Percy instead of making assumptions?” Grover pointed out. “Because he looks like he’s about to go off the deep end.”
The three of them looked at Percy closely and noted his crazy appearance and anxiety.
“Alright, Kelp. Spill. What’s going on and why are you pinning it on Hermes?” Clarisse waved a hand around the cabin.
Percy nervously inched towards his bed, tiredly laying down on it. It split right in the middle and he and the two halves of the bed met the floor. He twitched.
“Should we ask?” Grover asked dryly.
“I hid Zeus’ Bolt under here earlier. I forgot it already started burning a hole through it,” Percy mumbled, slowly fishing himself out of the wreckage. “How in Hades do you turn your dad’s bike off?! It won’t turn off!” he freaked out.
They stared at him worriedly.
“Woah. Calm down, Percy,” Clarisse warily held up her hands. She pointed at a small button near the handles. “Dad jammed his knife into the ignition a while ago in anger, and since Hephaestus is pissed at him still, he can’t get it fixed. So he has that emergency button right there.”
Percy stalked over to the Harley and hit the button with his finger, slumping over the bike in exhaustion afterwards, once it died down.
“Percy?” Grover tentatively prodded.
Percy tiredly straightened and opened his arms to the width of the room.
“All this? Hermes. He’s not listening!” Percy grumbled. “And there’s a betting pool up there about what else he’s going to steal and give to me! He’s stealing all of them! And giving them to me! Does that make sense?! I’m just waiting for one of them to lash out and come after me! And there’s another bet going on on whether or not I give in to him and let him date me -”
“Woah, woah, run that again!” Annabeth cut in, trying not to gape.
“What she said,” Clarisse didn’t bother monitoring her jaw.
“I third that,” Grover looked faint.
Percy looked irritably at them.
“He’s stealing all of this in an attempt to woo me,” Percy sighed and his hands began to automatically clutch at his hair again.
“You mean, uh, he likes you?” Grover clarified.
“He says he loves me,” Percy huffed. “Really now.”
His three visitors stared incredulously at him.
“Oh Ares…is that a Golden Apple?” Clarisse eyed the confection sitting innocently on Percy’s stand.
Percy glanced at it and winced, “Yup…and yes, that’s the Helm of Darkness, my dad’s Trident, and etc. etc.”
He swiped the Trident off the wall and jabbed it in their direction.
“I want it gone. All of them gone! But I don’t know how to give them back without endangering my life and limbs!”
Eyes widening even further, the three of them backed away. Grover used one finger to tip the Trident to the side and its pointy ends away from them.
“When Hermes comes back…just tell him. Tell him straight out that you don’t want any of this and that he has to return them,” Annabeth told him firmly.
“What if he doesn’t listen?” Percy asked miserably.
“Well, if he loves you, he would,” Annabeth nodded her head, content with her answer.
“I still can’t believe you haven’t taken a bite outta that apple,” Clarisse huffed. “I mean, I know you didn’t go for immortality last time for us, but hey! There’s enough for all four of us. And if you insist, we can mail a piece to Nico and Rachel. Thalia’s already got immortality with the Huntress package and all, so she’s covered.”
Percy glared at the apple, “It’s not mine. It’s stolen and I’m not going to go cheat and bite it, especially because it’s stolen. Besides, it’s not worth getting immortality from it. Zoë lost her life because of it, and her life was ruined first because of it and selfish heroes. I’m not going to be selfish and I’m not even touching it.”
“Then…we’ll just have to wait until Hermes comes back,” Annabeth said firmly.
“Where is he anyway?” Clarisse stretched and then plopped down onto an extra bed lazily.
“Don’t know,” Percy muttered.
Part III