(no subject)

[feliciarenee]

i've been stressed out and entirely too edgy.  i can neither eat nor sleep. i am working through a lot of personal pain to find myself again.  when i had my wisdom teeth out a few years back,cutie cute dentist prescribed me halcion to take the edge off my nervousness.  it helped.  i am considering gettgin a prescription for something like that.  something to take the edge off and decrease my anxiety.  i feel like such a failure for considering this, but the homeopathic remedies for stress are just not really working.  sleeping pills help, but i can only take them on the weekends, plus i do not want to rely on them too much, as i think some of the reason i am not sleeping during the week is because i take them on the weekends.  i feel like such a mess right now.  i know that mental health issues run in the family and that plenty of people take things like xanax to help. hell, i just read "eat pray love" in which she describes using antidepressents to help her in the beginning and gradually gets off of them.  in no way do i want this to be permanant. i just need that extra little bit i think.  i am feeling so lost right now. i have to keep reminding myself that the first year is the hardest and things will get better, easier.

i'm kinda glad this guy i really like has not moved here yet.  i would probably unloaded on him, which is so entirely unfair.  it is also very good that we started talking when we did.  i am so entirely put off to dating at the moment.  they seem to either just want to fuck me or save me. it is so disconcerting that i have considered removing my profile entirely from the site.