House of Wax, the remake (not!) Warning: Spoilers Ahead
Last night, Geo and I watched the remake--or more appropriately, the "re-imagining" [/sarcastic air-quotes]--of the Vincent Price classic House of Wax.
I . . . don't know what to say . . . Where do I start?
Well, let's start, I suppose, by mentioning the reason we rented it to begin with: Jared Padalecki. He was the best part of the movie (of course, I might be biased), other than the set and production design. But I'll get back to both of these points in a minute.
Overall, the movie was pretty much what I was expecting, though I'm always squicked by it--blood and ick and painfully so, and gratuitous stripping (Paris Hilton is in it, after all), and it just really wasn't my kind of movie. (It's what I expected Cry Wolf to be and surprisingly, delightfully, wasn't.) The story was okay, with an attempt at character development for everyone, but I was able to figure out early on who would walk out alive (sadly, it wasn't Jared's character).
I'll get my comments about Paris Hilton out of the way first. I've heard and read that a significant portion of the movie-going public went specifically to see her--or rather, her character--get killed. Which she does. Her character was meh, the obligatory bad girl in the story, and her acting was meh, as well. Nothing to write home about, but not as horrifically bad as I was expecting. But then, it probably wasn't a huge stretch for her, as a lot of her time was spent making out with a guy and dancing for him and looking the part of the trophy girlfriend. So, whatever.
Contrast that to Jared, who, even with the "He-Man" haircut they make reference to (which did look rather silly), looked really good, and played the role with enough variety to make me find him very sweet while simultaneously wanting to slap him upside the head. Dude, when hitching a ride with a creepy reject from Deliverance, you DO NOT sit your girlfriend in the middle. Yes, the way you helped her into the truck first was very sweet and gentlemanly, but next time, put yourself between her and the toothless yahoo who's eyeing her. And who's trying to show off his Bowie knife (not a euphemism). Also? When something freaks her out while you're investigating a wax museum that you're not even supposed to be in--see "Closed" sign--you don't tell her "stay here" while you go outside to investigate.
I've also come to the decision that I really like Jared's voice. You hear him speak nano-seconds before you see him on the screen, and my first reaction was, "Oh, yes. There's Jared."
I was rather bummed that he was the first character to get offed. And this whole habit the baddie had of snipping the Achilles tendon of his prey in order to cripple them . . . just made me squirm. It was really quite horrible and horrific what evil villain did, encasing his victims alive in the wax, and we never did see Wade (Jared's character) actually *die*. Just heard his muffled groans and saw his shifting eyes behind the wax. It was really horrible.
Btw, the baddie was named Vincent. Gee, could he be named after Mr. Price, I wonder?
Jared did receive high enough billing in the credits for his name to make it into the trailer. Which is yay. He was fifth, I think, after Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Michael Murray, the villain, and Paris Hilton. (Should have been billed before Paris, imo, because he had a more central role to the story, but agents don't look at that.)
Also, Wade drove a Charger. Which I found kind of amusing in a classic car kind of way, considering the Impala.
Elisha Cuthbert plays Wade's girlfriend and one of the two characters that escapes. She looked so familiar, and when I looked her up on IMDB, I figured out why. She played Kim Bauer in 24, which I watched the first season of. As a side note, she and Wade making out was kind of hot in a college-students-camping-out-on-the-way-to-a-football-game kind of way.
Other than that, the movie was pretty standard horror fare. Nothing worse than I've seen before, and not as gory, I'm sure, as Hostel or something like that, but it made me squirm and flinch and mutter "Okay, that's not right," or "That was unnecessary," on several occasions.
One of the creepiest parts of the movie was when the brother and sister hide in the movie theater that's playing Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?. They apparently trigger something that starts the movie, and it begins rolling at the part where Betty Davis is singing "I'm Sending a Letter to Daddy." That movie is one of the creepiest I've ever seen, to the point where I think I've traumatically suppressed a lot of it. Because *shudder*. And to have that thing pop up on the screen, with that eerie song . . . just, gah!
Probably the best thing about this movie is the production design. I was very impressed toward the end of the movie when I realized I hadn't seen any CGI--just practical and maybe some optical effects. (For my thoughts on the overuse of CGI, see my review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.) The whole town is made of wax, which is an interesting idea, and the way they made the House of Wax (which is literally a house of wax) melt during the final showdown was kind of cool. But the minimal use of CGI was impressive and in a way refreshing.
This movie was put out by the same production company that put out the remake of 13 Ghosts. In that movie, too, the best part about it was the production design.
And while having a cool production design is always beneficial, when that's the best thing about your project . . . that's not a good thing.
So, to sum up, Jared was great, and I'm glad I saw it because it's one of his projects, but I could have lived quite happily not seeing it.
I really, really need a good Jared icon. Anyone want to make one for me or point me in a good direction?
I . . . don't know what to say . . . Where do I start?
Well, let's start, I suppose, by mentioning the reason we rented it to begin with: Jared Padalecki. He was the best part of the movie (of course, I might be biased), other than the set and production design. But I'll get back to both of these points in a minute.
Overall, the movie was pretty much what I was expecting, though I'm always squicked by it--blood and ick and painfully so, and gratuitous stripping (Paris Hilton is in it, after all), and it just really wasn't my kind of movie. (It's what I expected Cry Wolf to be and surprisingly, delightfully, wasn't.) The story was okay, with an attempt at character development for everyone, but I was able to figure out early on who would walk out alive (sadly, it wasn't Jared's character).
I'll get my comments about Paris Hilton out of the way first. I've heard and read that a significant portion of the movie-going public went specifically to see her--or rather, her character--get killed. Which she does. Her character was meh, the obligatory bad girl in the story, and her acting was meh, as well. Nothing to write home about, but not as horrifically bad as I was expecting. But then, it probably wasn't a huge stretch for her, as a lot of her time was spent making out with a guy and dancing for him and looking the part of the trophy girlfriend. So, whatever.
Contrast that to Jared, who, even with the "He-Man" haircut they make reference to (which did look rather silly), looked really good, and played the role with enough variety to make me find him very sweet while simultaneously wanting to slap him upside the head. Dude, when hitching a ride with a creepy reject from Deliverance, you DO NOT sit your girlfriend in the middle. Yes, the way you helped her into the truck first was very sweet and gentlemanly, but next time, put yourself between her and the toothless yahoo who's eyeing her. And who's trying to show off his Bowie knife (not a euphemism). Also? When something freaks her out while you're investigating a wax museum that you're not even supposed to be in--see "Closed" sign--you don't tell her "stay here" while you go outside to investigate.
I've also come to the decision that I really like Jared's voice. You hear him speak nano-seconds before you see him on the screen, and my first reaction was, "Oh, yes. There's Jared."
I was rather bummed that he was the first character to get offed. And this whole habit the baddie had of snipping the Achilles tendon of his prey in order to cripple them . . . just made me squirm. It was really quite horrible and horrific what evil villain did, encasing his victims alive in the wax, and we never did see Wade (Jared's character) actually *die*. Just heard his muffled groans and saw his shifting eyes behind the wax. It was really horrible.
Btw, the baddie was named Vincent. Gee, could he be named after Mr. Price, I wonder?
Jared did receive high enough billing in the credits for his name to make it into the trailer. Which is yay. He was fifth, I think, after Elisha Cuthbert, Chad Michael Murray, the villain, and Paris Hilton. (Should have been billed before Paris, imo, because he had a more central role to the story, but agents don't look at that.)
Also, Wade drove a Charger. Which I found kind of amusing in a classic car kind of way, considering the Impala.
Elisha Cuthbert plays Wade's girlfriend and one of the two characters that escapes. She looked so familiar, and when I looked her up on IMDB, I figured out why. She played Kim Bauer in 24, which I watched the first season of. As a side note, she and Wade making out was kind of hot in a college-students-camping-out-on-the-way-to-a-football-game kind of way.
Other than that, the movie was pretty standard horror fare. Nothing worse than I've seen before, and not as gory, I'm sure, as Hostel or something like that, but it made me squirm and flinch and mutter "Okay, that's not right," or "That was unnecessary," on several occasions.
One of the creepiest parts of the movie was when the brother and sister hide in the movie theater that's playing Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?. They apparently trigger something that starts the movie, and it begins rolling at the part where Betty Davis is singing "I'm Sending a Letter to Daddy." That movie is one of the creepiest I've ever seen, to the point where I think I've traumatically suppressed a lot of it. Because *shudder*. And to have that thing pop up on the screen, with that eerie song . . . just, gah!
Probably the best thing about this movie is the production design. I was very impressed toward the end of the movie when I realized I hadn't seen any CGI--just practical and maybe some optical effects. (For my thoughts on the overuse of CGI, see my review of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.) The whole town is made of wax, which is an interesting idea, and the way they made the House of Wax (which is literally a house of wax) melt during the final showdown was kind of cool. But the minimal use of CGI was impressive and in a way refreshing.
This movie was put out by the same production company that put out the remake of 13 Ghosts. In that movie, too, the best part about it was the production design.
And while having a cool production design is always beneficial, when that's the best thing about your project . . . that's not a good thing.
So, to sum up, Jared was great, and I'm glad I saw it because it's one of his projects, but I could have lived quite happily not seeing it.
I really, really need a good Jared icon. Anyone want to make one for me or point me in a good direction?