Something Wicked (aka The Dementor episode)
As if we needed further proof that Sammy Winchester is the American incarnation of Harry Potter, here we have an episode about dementors . . . er . . . shtriga. But the best thing about this (admittedly cool) case ep is the backstory we get, particularly regarding Dean.
So. We continue apace with Sam being annoyed at the separation from John, and Dean following John's orders, even when they don't make sense. But it's more than that, as Sam comes to realize. Seriously, it kinda makes you wonder how well Sam really understands Dean's motivations, sometimes.
This was the ep wherein I realized (completely independent of fandom influence, because I was not reading fic or involved in the fandom at the time that I saw this) that Dean did, essentially, raise Sam, and that Sam is the golden child of the Winchester boys. I don't say this to bash any of the characters, but that's how it reads. Let me explain.
First, we have it established that Dean will give Sam pretty much anything he wants. Sam wanted Spaghetti-os, so Dean fixed Spaghetti-os. But then Sam wants Lucky Charms, and obviously Dean, too, wants some before the box is empty, because he hasn't had any yet, but he lets Sam have them. Sam, in his innocence, offers Dean the prize out of the box, which is very sweet, but I can't help but see it as a consolation prize. If we look at it at its very basic foundation, Dean is giving up sustenance, and Sam offers him a toy. (Of course, Dean could have eaten the Spaghetti-os, but that's not quite the point of the scene.) It just . . . to see Dean in such an adult role at such a young age. It's both heartwarming and heartbreaking.
Then Dean makes the mistake of leaving the room and endangering Sam's life. Scared child though he is, he's ready to shoot the shtriga when John rescues both boys. John's attention is then wholly on Sammy, and he is understandably angry at Dean. Any reasonable parent would be angry when one child endangers another.
But where John drops the ball is when Dean says, "He never looked at me the same." Whether or not that's true on John's part, the important thing is that that is what Dean grew up with. Knowing he disobeyed his father, almost got his brother killed, and Dad never looking at him the same again. No parent is perfect, and I think this is the point at which Dean developed his "daddy issues."
And Dean doesn't want absolution from Sam, even though he, Dean, was just a kid. He continues to blame himself for unknown children suffering and dying because of his mistake. Oh, Dean.
Then, at the end, when Sam voices the occasional wish for innocence for himself, Dean shares that wish--for Sam. Not for Dean. Because at this point, Dean isn't yet voicing his wishes for himself. Oh, Dean.
One of the things I love about Sam in this ep is Sam's concern for Dean and the fact that he's realizing the kind of childhood Dean might have had. In watching Dean interact with Michael, Sam is starting to realize what kind of responsibility Dean took on at that age. "I give you a lot of crap for always following Dad's orders. But I know why you do it."
And Dean just blows it off. "Kill me now." Because that's just how it's always been and always will be for Dean.
Also in this ep, we have wonderful brother teamwork, a little banter here and there ("I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right." "No, it doesn't." "Yeah, it totally does.")
So, yeah. This was an ep that really struck me when I first saw it. Good stuff.
So. We continue apace with Sam being annoyed at the separation from John, and Dean following John's orders, even when they don't make sense. But it's more than that, as Sam comes to realize. Seriously, it kinda makes you wonder how well Sam really understands Dean's motivations, sometimes.
This was the ep wherein I realized (completely independent of fandom influence, because I was not reading fic or involved in the fandom at the time that I saw this) that Dean did, essentially, raise Sam, and that Sam is the golden child of the Winchester boys. I don't say this to bash any of the characters, but that's how it reads. Let me explain.
First, we have it established that Dean will give Sam pretty much anything he wants. Sam wanted Spaghetti-os, so Dean fixed Spaghetti-os. But then Sam wants Lucky Charms, and obviously Dean, too, wants some before the box is empty, because he hasn't had any yet, but he lets Sam have them. Sam, in his innocence, offers Dean the prize out of the box, which is very sweet, but I can't help but see it as a consolation prize. If we look at it at its very basic foundation, Dean is giving up sustenance, and Sam offers him a toy. (Of course, Dean could have eaten the Spaghetti-os, but that's not quite the point of the scene.) It just . . . to see Dean in such an adult role at such a young age. It's both heartwarming and heartbreaking.
Then Dean makes the mistake of leaving the room and endangering Sam's life. Scared child though he is, he's ready to shoot the shtriga when John rescues both boys. John's attention is then wholly on Sammy, and he is understandably angry at Dean. Any reasonable parent would be angry when one child endangers another.
But where John drops the ball is when Dean says, "He never looked at me the same." Whether or not that's true on John's part, the important thing is that that is what Dean grew up with. Knowing he disobeyed his father, almost got his brother killed, and Dad never looking at him the same again. No parent is perfect, and I think this is the point at which Dean developed his "daddy issues."
And Dean doesn't want absolution from Sam, even though he, Dean, was just a kid. He continues to blame himself for unknown children suffering and dying because of his mistake. Oh, Dean.
Then, at the end, when Sam voices the occasional wish for innocence for himself, Dean shares that wish--for Sam. Not for Dean. Because at this point, Dean isn't yet voicing his wishes for himself. Oh, Dean.
One of the things I love about Sam in this ep is Sam's concern for Dean and the fact that he's realizing the kind of childhood Dean might have had. In watching Dean interact with Michael, Sam is starting to realize what kind of responsibility Dean took on at that age. "I give you a lot of crap for always following Dad's orders. But I know why you do it."
And Dean just blows it off. "Kill me now." Because that's just how it's always been and always will be for Dean.
Also in this ep, we have wonderful brother teamwork, a little banter here and there ("I'm the oldest, which means I'm always right." "No, it doesn't." "Yeah, it totally does.")
So, yeah. This was an ep that really struck me when I first saw it. Good stuff.