Dear Creepy Crawlies:
Unless you are A) helping pay my mortgage, or B) invited into my home, you are not welcome in said home.
This includes but is not limited to the Giant Evil Crickets from Outer Space, the snakes--particularly you copperheads--and the mice, of which some of you have already fallen to the awesome prowess of the Great Calico Huntress *points to icon*. I do not want you in my basement. I most certainly do not want you in my living space. And I certainly don't care if the extremely wet and rainy spring we've had is forcing you to seek drier shelter. You are not welcome!
If you choose to invade my home--for which you are not paying the mortgage, I might add--you will be dispatched with all possible haste. Oh, I might not be the one doing the actual dispatching, but your days will be numbered. This I promise you. *shakes fist*
Exterminatingly yours,
Me
This includes but is not limited to the Giant Evil Crickets from Outer Space, the snakes--particularly you copperheads--and the mice, of which some of you have already fallen to the awesome prowess of the Great Calico Huntress *points to icon*. I do not want you in my basement. I most certainly do not want you in my living space. And I certainly don't care if the extremely wet and rainy spring we've had is forcing you to seek drier shelter. You are not welcome!
If you choose to invade my home--for which you are not paying the mortgage, I might add--you will be dispatched with all possible haste. Oh, I might not be the one doing the actual dispatching, but your days will be numbered. This I promise you. *shakes fist*
Exterminatingly yours,
Me