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[feliciafidelity]

i've been such a bitch lately. it may be the fact, that every time i like a guy and they seem to like me i get screwed over. Megan warned me so i guess i should have listened, but everything happens for a reason, its just hard to think of a good reason. i've been thinking of jared a lot lately i don't know why. Raquel tells me she sees him a lot, and that he has gotten cuter, but he was always cute to begin with. kind wish we never broke up. =/. i fucked up last year a lot. i seem to screw everything up a lot more lately though. my moms even trying to stop me from being friends with megan. haa shes funny. my moms a fucking she devil she flips out over the littlest things, she treats me like i'm five. telling me to get along with all the kids and make some new friends blah blah blah. how about i don't, i've tried to get along with kids in my school, all they do is talk shit. why waste my time. i just wish i could get away for a bit so i can clear my mind. i'm finding it harder to get out of my depression times. i just keep sleeping more and more so i don't have to deal with anything. its not very healthy thought i'm tired 24/7. The whole changing of times threw me off a bit today too, so i took an even longer nap. i honestly don't even know anymore i have so much shit on my mind i cant even write.

i have switched shops though, i'm in offset now. its a lot better than cit, i'm happier in there. i love school during shop, i have never enjoyed going to school, well thats a lie, last year around april i did. wow what is wrong with me, i cant get over things. everytime i listen to explosions in the sky i think of him. its horrible, but i like to listen to them.

i have become more disgusted than ever with my appearance lately, its quite horrid. number one reason i have no luck with guys.

whatever, i suck at life. bye