The Digital Imprint of Our Lives

[feliciacraft]

Bwaaah, I seem to be in a mood. Maybe it's because it's drizzling outside and cold on what is supposed to be the weekend that kicks off summer. But at least I end the post with a unicorn chaser (because it needs it--shut up

Comments

[gillo]

A friend I made on CompuServe about fifteen years ago, then reconnected with on FB died around ChristmasChristmas. She played a lot of games, far more than I do. Very frequently I try out a new game and am invited to send her a life. If only I could.

[feliciacraft]

Ouch! That's tough! *Hugs*

I don't think I've heard the name CompuServe in a decade. I was bringing up GeoCities in a restaurant convo the other day to recommend AO3 and literally made someone at the next table crack up.

ETA: Thanks for commenting. It's comforting to count new friends when being reminded of those no longer with us!

[gillo]

CompuServe was my first online experience - I was sysop on three forums and very active. I miss those days, though not the dialup!

Yes, it does help to remember one has new friends. I have been online since '96 and have lost a sad number of online friends, as well as some who seem to have drifted away and I have no idea what happened. The digital world can be shockingly ephemeral.

[feliciacraft]

> The digital world can be shockingly ephemeral.

That it is. But I'm grateful for it. Especially in my fast-paced corner of the world, some offline friends have turned online-only, and without the digital world, our friendships might not have survived. Every time I change jobs, I lose a bunch of them and in this industry, most people change jobs every few years. I'm approaching my five-year anniversary with my current job, which is surprisingly the longest tenure I've had at any company. And when I tell young coworkers that I'd been there for five years, the shock on their faces says it all. :)

[double_dutchess]

Fortunately I haven't had to deal with this kind of thing (yet), but that really is rather disturbing.

Thanks for the cute gifs to raise the spirits again.

[feliciacraft]

Yeah, it's not something I want to think about, but it's definitely a new problem brought about by the popularity of social media.

Fortunately, the Internet has no shortage of amusing GIFs. The Web's saving grace at the end of the day, other than nice people like you! :)

[petzipellepingo]

I only post on LJ and Dreamwidth and have had two friends die over the years. I don't get requests for anything but they're still on my flist and I make a point to remember them when their birthdays roll around.

Those gifs are hilarious, especially the first one.

[feliciacraft]

Remembering people who've passed away around their birthdays sounds like a good tradition. Thank you for that. Also, thanks for the comment. It's especially comforting to count new friends with the reminder of those no longer with us!

Aren't the GIFs just fun? Yeah, with the first, bet you didn't know there were not two, but three, THREE, kittehs in there. :)

[slaymesoftly]

OMG those are cute kittens (not so sure about the dog with the binky....) LOL

I have yet to have this come up yet, with the exception of an LJ "friend" for whom I still get birthday reminders. *sigh* But I can't imagine getting frequent reminders about someone I know well and whose death was a problem for me. But it's probably unavoidable for anyone with much of an on-line presence.

My husband was talking about this sort of thing the other day and how FB allows you to name someone who can take over and close your account and so on. I think it's important, especially for those of us who write fanfic (vampire porn?) to have someone designated to do whatever it is you'd like to do with your stuff. LJ, DW, the archives, a website? Do you want it to vanish? Do you want it to remain out there? Who can or would handle it for you? Who would know to make your demise public? And so on.

My sympathy for the loss of your friend, as well as the reminders.

[feliciacraft]

The puppy (a Westie?) with the pacifier tickled me silly. I had a hard time teaching both of my daughters to use a binky--neither was into it, which made bedtimes harder than with kids that'd use one to self-sooth. I can't get enough of teh kittehs, though. Brain turns to mush. Must haz moar!!1

[slaymesoftly]

My kids had their thumbs or nothing. Nobody wanted binkies.

I have very little overlap - only one RL friend who knows who I am in fandom, and a few who know I write, but not where. But I also have several fandom friends who, through the years, have become RL friends and I would probably put them in charge of closing my accounts on LJ and DW and letting fandom know I was gone. Hubby is NOT encouraged to read my stuff, and to the best of my knowledge, he hasn't. If he asked to, I would very carefully select which ones he should read.... All he needs to know is who to contact. LOL I suppose I will need to make a "to be opened only in the event of my death" envelope with all the information he will need. :)

[feliciacraft]

Glad to know it's not just mine who turned down binkies.

Ugh, you're right. Need to prepare an envelope with instructions ("what to do about my vampire porn works of transformative fiction"). That's a practical solution.

Out of curiosity, why wouldn't you encourage your husband to read your stuff? I mean, he must have *some* notion of what you've been writing already. I think I've read pretty much everything you're posted, and it's great stuff! :)

[velvetwhip]

One of my earliest friends in fandom, a writer for whom I beta'ed and who encouraged me enthusiastically as I made the leap to writer in my own right, also died suddenly last year, just after giving birth to her third child. We never met in RL, but she was my friend and it still hurts. So I do understand, I think, as much as any of us understand another's pain (because pain is so personal and ours is always ours and ours only).

Here, have some hugs:

hugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugshugs

Gabrielle

[feliciacraft]

Thanks, Gabrielle, you're very sweet!

I think the worst injustice w.r.t. to my friend was that he was in his mid twenties. So young! A life barely started, really. He'd accomplished a lot professionally in that short time, and sometimes I think: what could he have done with five more years? Ten? A full lifetime? *Shrugs* I suppose none of us knows how long we've got left...all the more reason to push out those WIPs, lol! :)

I'm so sorry about your friend. Three children! My condolences to you and her family.

Love your icon, BTW!