(no subject)
most of my days are spent with thoughts of turning my back on this city and moving far away. i have made plans to move, its just a matter of if i will do it or not. and if i do move the only way i will ever come back to this terrible place to to visit my family and about 3 other people.
this city is too small and filled with to many cocky, arrogant people that love to go around calling other people cocky and arrogant. everyone criticizes everyone. people talk shit about there best friends, not even caring that the people they are telling it to are friends with the people that are talking about. nothing stays private, tell someone your deepest secrets and the whole world knows the next day. people lie and cheat there friends. people steal from their friends. but the worst part is that there are so many people here that think they are so important to everyone. fake people, rude people, dumb people, sure every city has them, but here they all think that they have the right to pick everyone apart so well.
now, i realize i have screwed up many times in the past. i know i havent been the best friend i could be and im sorry for that. im sorry to all the friends i have failed over the years. i wish i could go back and fix things, but i cant. whats done is done. im trying to fix the future now, and trying not to make the same mistakes i have done in the past. and i think in the last month or so i have stayed away from everything that i have come to hate about myself and other people, and im happy for that.
but the fact remains that people in this city need to change cuase everything is falling apart very fast. i know using the music "scene" as an exaple is pretty lame, but if you went to the show the other night them im sure you noticed how terrible it was. last summer that show would have gotten about 350 people. last friday it had 90. LAME. but guess who was sure not to miss it? all the arrogant self absorbed people, maybe myself included if you want to call me those words. and what did i hear at the show? it seem that ever corner i turned i ended up hearing someone talk shit about someone else that was there.
this is bullshit..... why cant everyone just be supportive of everyone else? be it someones band, job, school... anything. but being supportive is something that alot of people lack. people are so scared that they wont ever amount to anything that they have to try to bring everyone else down. im extremly scared that my life will mean nothing, but im not gonna try to take eveyone else down with me. ill offer help to anyone that needs it. but it seems like everytime i try to give some kind words to someone, somebody else has to put me down for it.
im sick of this place and these people. i need to get away from here before i get back to my old ways. i hope things change soon, but if they dont then i worry for everyone of these people.
on a side note...
i feel like i have been forgoten by 90% of the people here... and im pretty sure that most of the people that havent forgoten me just plain hate me... its a not great feeling...
this city is too small and filled with to many cocky, arrogant people that love to go around calling other people cocky and arrogant. everyone criticizes everyone. people talk shit about there best friends, not even caring that the people they are telling it to are friends with the people that are talking about. nothing stays private, tell someone your deepest secrets and the whole world knows the next day. people lie and cheat there friends. people steal from their friends. but the worst part is that there are so many people here that think they are so important to everyone. fake people, rude people, dumb people, sure every city has them, but here they all think that they have the right to pick everyone apart so well.
now, i realize i have screwed up many times in the past. i know i havent been the best friend i could be and im sorry for that. im sorry to all the friends i have failed over the years. i wish i could go back and fix things, but i cant. whats done is done. im trying to fix the future now, and trying not to make the same mistakes i have done in the past. and i think in the last month or so i have stayed away from everything that i have come to hate about myself and other people, and im happy for that.
but the fact remains that people in this city need to change cuase everything is falling apart very fast. i know using the music "scene" as an exaple is pretty lame, but if you went to the show the other night them im sure you noticed how terrible it was. last summer that show would have gotten about 350 people. last friday it had 90. LAME. but guess who was sure not to miss it? all the arrogant self absorbed people, maybe myself included if you want to call me those words. and what did i hear at the show? it seem that ever corner i turned i ended up hearing someone talk shit about someone else that was there.
this is bullshit..... why cant everyone just be supportive of everyone else? be it someones band, job, school... anything. but being supportive is something that alot of people lack. people are so scared that they wont ever amount to anything that they have to try to bring everyone else down. im extremly scared that my life will mean nothing, but im not gonna try to take eveyone else down with me. ill offer help to anyone that needs it. but it seems like everytime i try to give some kind words to someone, somebody else has to put me down for it.
im sick of this place and these people. i need to get away from here before i get back to my old ways. i hope things change soon, but if they dont then i worry for everyone of these people.
on a side note...
i feel like i have been forgoten by 90% of the people here... and im pretty sure that most of the people that havent forgoten me just plain hate me... its a not great feeling...