[For Susan]

[fears_nothing]

Settling into the easy rhythm of the island hadn't been simple by any stretch of the imagination but Niko had managed. Cal's presence, along with Robin and Ishiah, had helped immensely and helped to make it so that Niko had to worry less about the state of things in New York. He still didn't entirely trust the benign nature of the island, not

Comments

[onceaqueen]

Susan shook her head a little. "No, not so much," she said. "He was far calmer than Rickon. Quiet at times, but friendly and loyal." It was still difficult to talk about Jon, and she had to put her teacup down while she cast about for enough of a change of subject that she could continue talking.

"A few years ago, there was a great deal of Jon's family here on the island, including his youngest brother, Rickon, who was only five and quite the terror... writing on the walls with markers, running off all the time... I adored him, but he really was a terror. I should have considered that before we chose his name for our child." Perhaps that had not been enough of a change of subject, for thinking of Rickon Stark made her think of Bran and Sansa and all the rest that were here and were now gone.

"I'm sorry," she said finally, her voice honest. "I don't mean to be difficult. It's just that... Jon's family was very much my family too. I was close to his mother, his sister Sansa was the best friend I've ever had, and now nearly everyone is gone. Jon... was the first person I met when I arrived here nearly five years ago, and looked out for me when neither of us knew anyone here at all. It's been difficult to adjust to life without him."

[fears_nothing]

Niko put his own cup down and reached for Susan's hand, touching it lightly. He didn't normally step over such personal boundaries, not with someone he barely knew, but Susan had admitted something insanely personal and it had moved him.

In all the time he knew Promise, he knew very little of her life before he and Cal had come into it. He knew that she had several husbands who were much older than her, all of whom left her with more money than any person knew what to do with and Susan barely knew him at all and had admitted something deeply personal.

"Loss is difficult," Niko said, brushing his thumb over the back of her hand. "Especially for the one left behind. I've experienced it myself, but never anything so close as a spouse. I'm sorry, Susan."

[onceaqueen]

Susan squeezed his hand lightly, grateful for the understanding and the sympathy that wasn't pity. "I'm no stranger to it," she said, almost matter-of-factly, "but it doesn't get any easier, and I suppose it never should. If I was at the point where I didn't care anymore, I don't really know what that would say about me."

[fears_nothing]

"I think the fact that you aren't says you're still human," Niko said quietly, squeezing her hand once before moving his. "I think the moment you become immune to loss and grief is the moment you lose a bit of what makes you special and keeps you grounded."