Funeral for a friend
I went to the funeral for the woman from my church who died last week.
As I said before, she was sort of the anti-Frank. But, although she drove me crazy in some ways, I did like her. She was a very kind person who really cared about people.
Folks who know me know that I’m very big on being on time. She was never on time. Even her husband made a joke about this being the only time he could remember when she was there when an event started.
The turn out was very large. The whole church was full, the parking lot over flowing with cars.
I saw lots of people there I haven’t seen in a long time. Some of them it was really good to see. Some of them... not. One just glared at me and stayed on the far side of the room.
Although she was only 55, she just died. She ran a day care center. After the kids left, she lay down for a nap and didn’t wake up. Quick and peaceful. There are worse ways to go.
One of the reasons I’ve drifted away from church some the last year and a half or so is because when I was going through some very bad things, very few of them really seemed to care.
Even the pastor, who I do like, told me she was busy and asked me to come back later when I showed up there really at the end of my rope.
Not Marianne. She saw me walking once, slammed on her breaks and came running over to me across the parking lot to ask how I was doing.
“Frank! Frank!” she shouted. “How are you? I’ve been so worried about you and haven’t seen you!”
“You’re blocking the parking lot entrance,” I said to her. “You’ll cause a car accident that way.”
“Oh never mind that,” she said with a wave of her hand. “No one is driving on Sunday morning except people going to church.”
“It’s the church entrance you’ve blocked,” I said.
“Tell me how you’re doing,” she said, and didn’t let me go until I’d answered her.
At the reception after the funeral today, her husband came over to me and asked how I was doing.
“Better,” I said. “It’s still rough, but a lot better then it was.”
“Good,” he said. “I’m happy to hear that, and that would make her happy too.”
She was always late, always chatty and always giving people hugs.
Once when I ran a discussion group about a movie, she showed up an hour late, announced she didn’t like the movie I picked, but did like a different movie that had John Travolta in it and wanted to discuss that.
If I got home late from a church meeting and my wife asked why, all I had to do was say “Marianne was there” and she’d nod and understand.
I would go out of my way to avoid groups she was in or events she was planning as I knew I’d get frustrated by her.
I’ve attended that church for more than 12 years. I was the head of administration for 6. I’ve led retreats, discussion groups, bible studies and kids groups.
She was the only person who chased me down to make sure I was OK.
I really couldn’t stand to be around her.
The world is poorer for her no longer being in it.