Disturbing dream
I had trouble getting to sleep last night. Mostly due to work things weighing on my mind.
But, I managed it.
I dreamed I was lying in bed and people were standing all around the bed. They were hanging things from the ceiling like model space ships, stars and planets much like the kind of things I used to hang on my ceiling when I was a kid.
It was dark and I couldn’t make out who the people were. But, I think they were people from my family.
“He’s going to love this when he wakes up and sees it,” a woman’s voice said.
I woke up.
It was a cold and windy night and all the doors and windows were rattling as the wind shook our building.
It was just at the mid of night too. Not 12:00, but the half way point between sunset and sunrise that is 11:43 right now. (Yes, I do keep track of that…)
“I was just having a bad dream,” my wife said to me, and took my hand.
“Me too,” I said.
She went back to sleep, but I had more trouble.
It is hard to even say why I consider it a bad dream. Family sanding around you putting out things they think you’ll enjoy sounds nice when I write it.
But, to me it felt like it was my family that had passed on hanging around my bed. And, the whole place rattling when I woke didn’t really change that too much.
My mother’s mother used to dream of impending death with more accuracy that random luck would allow.
I’ve always worried about getting that from her.
And, a lot of my mother’s family passes on this time of year. Both of my grandparents on that side and one of my cousins that I can think of off of the top of my head.
My mother’s in her late 80’s.
Her sister, the only one on that side of the family I get along with, is also in her 80’s and has had health issues.
My sister is now in her 70’s. And, her mother didn’t make it to 50.
There are folks I worry about saying goodbye to, and this dream reminded me of it quite a bit.
Of course there is the chance with my work going as it is, that I should worry about myself just exploding on day on the job too…
No matter how any of that shakes out, I’m tired today as I did not sleep well the rest of the night.