Never have I ever...
Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date by Katie Heaney
“I’ve been single for my entire life. Not one boyfriend. Not one short-term dating situation. Not one person whom I regularly hung out with and kissed on the face.”
So begins Katie Heaney’s memoir of her years spent looking for love, but never quite finding it. By age 25, equipped with a college degree, a load of friends, and a happy family life, she still has never had a boyfriend…and she’s barely even been on a second date.
Throughout this laugh-out-loud funny book, you will meet Katie’s loyal group of girlfriends, including flirtatious and outgoing Rylee, the wild child to Katie’s shrinking violet, as well as a whole roster of Katie’s ill-fated crushes. And you will get to know Katie herself-a smart, modern heroine relaying truths about everything from the subtleties of a Facebook message exchange to the fact that “everybody who works in a coffee shop is at least a little bit hot.”
Funny, relatable, and inspiring, this is a memoir for anyone who has ever struggled to find love, but has also had a lot of fun in the process.
Most memoirs about romantic and sexual escapades for the 18-35 demographic focus on the outrageous-on the stories we ourselves wish we were brave enough to have done, like passionate affairs in Paris or Sex and the City-esque misadventures in Manhattan. Katie Heaney’s memoir, on the other hand, is more remarkable for what hasn’t happened: nary a second date, much less a long-term relationship.
Not that she hasn’t tried to find true love-far from it. Never Have I Ever is a hilarious and relatable memoir precisely because she demonstrates just how how bewildering, confusing, and (at times) impossible modern love is. The book is a humorous chronicle of many scenarios any girl will find similar, such as: Is this an actual date? Is he going to ask me out on a second date, or should I? Why do I have to go through the effort of going on a date with a virtual stranger, when I know I’ll have a much more enjoyable time watching a movie at home by myself? Heaney exposes such modern rituals for the slightly ridiculous and nonsensical things they really are.
Yet, for all her failed luck in love, Heaney is actually quite happy to be single. Sure, she wonders if she’ll fall in love at least once, and why it’s taking her longer than most of her friends, but in general, being single is not what keeps her up at night. She actually realizes how lucky she’s been when one of her closest friends, Rylee, finds herself single for the first time in a long time, and remarks how wonderful it is to make decisions on her own, or not have to sacrifice opportunities because of a boyfriend. Heaney reflects: “I was somehow only then understanding that this freedom Rylee was describing was totally new to her. To me it sounded normal-a description of what it feels like to be not only single, but (relatively) unconcernedly so. This is the same freedom I’ve always had for my whole entire life” (241). Never Have I Ever may be about her lack of romantic relationships, but it certainly doesn’t mean she has a less rich and vibrant life because of it.
Mortal Heart by Robin LaFevers
Annith has watched her gifted sisters at the convent carrying out their dark dealings in the name of St. Mortain, patiently awaiting her own turn to serve Death. But her worst fears are realized when she discovers she is being groomed by the abbess as a seeress, to be forever sequestered in the rock and stone womb of the convent. Feeling sorely betrayed, Annith decides to strike out on her own.
Following Grave Mercy and Dark Triumph, Mortal Heart is the thrilling conclusion to Robin LaFevers’s best-selling His Fair Assassin trilogy.
Contrary to my lukewarm expectations after Grave Mercy, the first book in LaFevers’ trilogy, I loved Dark Triumph, so much so that it was hands-down one of my favorite books from last year. It was thrilling and full of tension, anchored by two strong, imperfect characters who were somehow perfect for each other. With my faith renewed in the series, I was eagerly looking forward to Mortal Heart-unfortunately, my hopes didn’t quite pan out as I expected.
Which is a shame, because Annith’s story in Mortal Heart actually had the potential to be the most memorable one in the series. Raised in the convent since infancy, Annith had to endure a grueling and lonely childhood, one where shows of affection were rarer than punishment. Yearning for the day when she can leave the convent on missions like her sister-assassins, she throws herself into training, and quickly proves herself as the best in all of Mortain’s deadly arts. However, despite creating a nuanced, complex character in Annith, LaFevers doesn’t create a plot that allows Annith to fulfill her full potential; instead it comes across as aimless and hapless. Whereas Sybella and Ismae had key roles to play in the political machinations and wars besieging Brittany, Annith’s status as a bystander is highlighted even more when she arrives at court, demanding answers. Although on one level, Annith’s outsider status is understandable given that she is not even supposed to be on a mission like her sisters, still, it seems like Annith’s story could’ve been much more.
In terms of the secondary plotline-the romance between Annith and the leader of the Hellequin-on that front I was also less than impressed. It starts out well and intriguing, but when his real identity is revealed, I couldn’t help but feel LaFevers crossed the parameters of the world she had created. I get that this is historical fiction, with light elements of fantasy, but this identity reveal was a bit too much, even for me; I could no longer suspend my disbelief.
Many thanks to Jenn, who snagged an ARC of this for me at BEA! I’m only sorry I didn’t enjoy it more. Mortal Heart is in stores November 4th, 2014.
“I’ve been single for my entire life. Not one boyfriend. Not one short-term dating situation. Not one person whom I regularly hung out with and kissed on the face.”
So begins Katie Heaney’s memoir of her years spent looking for love, but never quite finding it. By age 25, equipped with a college degree, a load of friends, and a happy family life, she still has never had a boyfriend…and she’s barely even been on a second date.
Throughout this laugh-out-loud funny book, you will meet Katie’s loyal group of girlfriends, including flirtatious and outgoing Rylee, the wild child to Katie’s shrinking violet, as well as a whole roster of Katie’s ill-fated crushes. And you will get to know Katie herself-a smart, modern heroine relaying truths about everything from the subtleties of a Facebook message exchange to the fact that “everybody who works in a coffee shop is at least a little bit hot.”
Funny, relatable, and inspiring, this is a memoir for anyone who has ever struggled to find love, but has also had a lot of fun in the process.
Most memoirs about romantic and sexual escapades for the 18-35 demographic focus on the outrageous-on the stories we ourselves wish we were brave enough to have done, like passionate affairs in Paris or Sex and the City-esque misadventures in Manhattan. Katie Heaney’s memoir, on the other hand, is more remarkable for what hasn’t happened: nary a second date, much less a long-term relationship.
Not that she hasn’t tried to find true love-far from it. Never Have I Ever is a hilarious and relatable memoir precisely because she demonstrates just how how bewildering, confusing, and (at times) impossible modern love is. The book is a humorous chronicle of many scenarios any girl will find similar, such as: Is this an actual date? Is he going to ask me out on a second date, or should I? Why do I have to go through the effort of going on a date with a virtual stranger, when I know I’ll have a much more enjoyable time watching a movie at home by myself? Heaney exposes such modern rituals for the slightly ridiculous and nonsensical things they really are.
Yet, for all her failed luck in love, Heaney is actually quite happy to be single. Sure, she wonders if she’ll fall in love at least once, and why it’s taking her longer than most of her friends, but in general, being single is not what keeps her up at night. She actually realizes how lucky she’s been when one of her closest friends, Rylee, finds herself single for the first time in a long time, and remarks how wonderful it is to make decisions on her own, or not have to sacrifice opportunities because of a boyfriend. Heaney reflects: “I was somehow only then understanding that this freedom Rylee was describing was totally new to her. To me it sounded normal-a description of what it feels like to be not only single, but (relatively) unconcernedly so. This is the same freedom I’ve always had for my whole entire life” (241). Never Have I Ever may be about her lack of romantic relationships, but it certainly doesn’t mean she has a less rich and vibrant life because of it.
Mortal Heart by Robin LaFevers
Annith has watched her gifted sisters at the convent carrying out their dark dealings in the name of St. Mortain, patiently awaiting her own turn to serve Death. But her worst fears are realized when she discovers she is being groomed by the abbess as a seeress, to be forever sequestered in the rock and stone womb of the convent. Feeling sorely betrayed, Annith decides to strike out on her own.
Following Grave Mercy and Dark Triumph, Mortal Heart is the thrilling conclusion to Robin LaFevers’s best-selling His Fair Assassin trilogy.
Contrary to my lukewarm expectations after Grave Mercy, the first book in LaFevers’ trilogy, I loved Dark Triumph, so much so that it was hands-down one of my favorite books from last year. It was thrilling and full of tension, anchored by two strong, imperfect characters who were somehow perfect for each other. With my faith renewed in the series, I was eagerly looking forward to Mortal Heart-unfortunately, my hopes didn’t quite pan out as I expected.
Which is a shame, because Annith’s story in Mortal Heart actually had the potential to be the most memorable one in the series. Raised in the convent since infancy, Annith had to endure a grueling and lonely childhood, one where shows of affection were rarer than punishment. Yearning for the day when she can leave the convent on missions like her sister-assassins, she throws herself into training, and quickly proves herself as the best in all of Mortain’s deadly arts. However, despite creating a nuanced, complex character in Annith, LaFevers doesn’t create a plot that allows Annith to fulfill her full potential; instead it comes across as aimless and hapless. Whereas Sybella and Ismae had key roles to play in the political machinations and wars besieging Brittany, Annith’s status as a bystander is highlighted even more when she arrives at court, demanding answers. Although on one level, Annith’s outsider status is understandable given that she is not even supposed to be on a mission like her sisters, still, it seems like Annith’s story could’ve been much more.
In terms of the secondary plotline-the romance between Annith and the leader of the Hellequin-on that front I was also less than impressed. It starts out well and intriguing, but when his real identity is revealed, I couldn’t help but feel LaFevers crossed the parameters of the world she had created. I get that this is historical fiction, with light elements of fantasy, but this identity reveal was a bit too much, even for me; I could no longer suspend my disbelief.
Many thanks to Jenn, who snagged an ARC of this for me at BEA! I’m only sorry I didn’t enjoy it more. Mortal Heart is in stores November 4th, 2014.