Holy shit I have a child!
I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod; my shadow does that much better. -Plutarch
Sirius wanted to have a baby with me.
Not in that way, you sickos! Hear me out. So the other day he heard about a person that's not a muggle or a wizard. They're called mutants. They've got these crazy power type things where they can use a kind of magic without needing a wand. It's really weird, but SO amazing! Some can control fire, others can turn their whole body into some kinda hard substance, and some can have the strength of ten giants!
I have no idea how Sirius found out about them, he says he talked to some people who were mutants and showed him their powers, but I don't believe him. I think he's secretly reading books and doesn't want to tell me.
Anyway, he wanted powers of his own. He tried everything he could to give the power things to himself but nothing worked. Even I thought he was being greedy and I'm totally one for excess.
Since he couldn't get the powers himself, he wanted the next best thing: make a new version of himself and give it powers. I told him no way, he knows how I feel about spawn. Everyone knows I'm anti-baby, especially my best mates.
Then he explained the merits of the spawn. It would have completely awesome powers and if we made it together it would have a combination of both our personalities! How great would that be? A concentrated mini version of me and Sirius who could destroy your house just by blinking!
I caved and said yes. Who wouldn't want that, honestly? Later we went to the library and looked up all we could about spawn making through a totally un-sexual way. Since we don't exactly want to mortally wound anyone we had to go with something temporary. Dammit. Since Slughorn thinks I'm the greatest thing since that smelly perfume he wears he lets me have full time access to his stores, which I used to my advantage while making what I like to call baby-in-a-cauldron.
Well, er, we made her. Yes, that's right, her. She came outta the pot all goopy with sludge, but, um, she's here. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HER! Right now she keeps gurgling her own spit and making weird noises and won't stop smiling at me! Why is she smiling? She doesn't even speak real people language! I'm glad that she knows I'm great an all, that's obvious, but that look she's giving me right now is really fucking creepy...
Anyway, er, the potion only lasts a few weeks, I'm not really sure how much, I didn't bother to read, but until that time is up, what do I do?! Do we even name her? Help!
siriusly_pads used with permission
Sirius wanted to have a baby with me.
Not in that way, you sickos! Hear me out. So the other day he heard about a person that's not a muggle or a wizard. They're called mutants. They've got these crazy power type things where they can use a kind of magic without needing a wand. It's really weird, but SO amazing! Some can control fire, others can turn their whole body into some kinda hard substance, and some can have the strength of ten giants!
I have no idea how Sirius found out about them, he says he talked to some people who were mutants and showed him their powers, but I don't believe him. I think he's secretly reading books and doesn't want to tell me.
Anyway, he wanted powers of his own. He tried everything he could to give the power things to himself but nothing worked. Even I thought he was being greedy and I'm totally one for excess.
Since he couldn't get the powers himself, he wanted the next best thing: make a new version of himself and give it powers. I told him no way, he knows how I feel about spawn. Everyone knows I'm anti-baby, especially my best mates.
Then he explained the merits of the spawn. It would have completely awesome powers and if we made it together it would have a combination of both our personalities! How great would that be? A concentrated mini version of me and Sirius who could destroy your house just by blinking!
I caved and said yes. Who wouldn't want that, honestly? Later we went to the library and looked up all we could about spawn making through a totally un-sexual way. Since we don't exactly want to mortally wound anyone we had to go with something temporary. Dammit. Since Slughorn thinks I'm the greatest thing since that smelly perfume he wears he lets me have full time access to his stores, which I used to my advantage while making what I like to call baby-in-a-cauldron.
Well, er, we made her. Yes, that's right, her. She came outta the pot all goopy with sludge, but, um, she's here. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH HER! Right now she keeps gurgling her own spit and making weird noises and won't stop smiling at me! Why is she smiling? She doesn't even speak real people language! I'm glad that she knows I'm great an all, that's obvious, but that look she's giving me right now is really fucking creepy...
Anyway, er, the potion only lasts a few weeks, I'm not really sure how much, I didn't bother to read, but until that time is up, what do I do?! Do we even name her? Help!
siriusly_pads used with permission