We Love the Women That Fandom Hates- Day 1
It is past midnight and thus officially September 9th which means it is the first day of the We Love the Women That Fandom Hates project. For those of you who have only watched Game of Thrones and not read A Song of Ice and Fire, the Catelyn meta today does not refer to events that happen after the first book. However, it does refer to events that
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I agree that Cat's resentment of Jon was definitely an unconscious decision. I think she just couldn't help it. But I also think that she tried her best to control it, because part of her knew it was wrong and she wasn't proud of it. She feels a flash of guilt thinking about Jon in the mountains of the Vale, for example, and she dwells a lot more on the pragmatic threats that Jon poses than on her own hurt feelings (though she can certainly admit those to herself). What I think is really telling is how none of her children dwell on it much. Probably Arya and Bran and Rickon are too young to notice, Sansa I'm not sure. Robb is old enough to get it and he definitely knows she has a problem with him. BUT nevertheless when Jon tells him that his mother treated him kindly at Bran's bedside, at the very least it's believable to Robb. At the very least her children probably cannot predict "It should have been you" coming out of her mouth, and while that doesn't make her a saint, at least she knows an amount of contrition over her feelings, and definitely control. I do not think "It should have been you" happens without years of repressed feelings.
Definitely agreed about why she doesn't continue to resent Ned himself. She wants the marriage to work, she doesn't have many options to support herself, really. And emotionally, it's really hard for many people to be so angry so long, and I can see that it'd be hard for her to sentence herself to an unhappy marriage and not try to move on. She wants a fulfilling life, she doesn't see her duty as a cold artificial thing but something meaningful and real. But she just can't move on as well as she would like to (I think she did try to love Jon though, once).
The one thing I would emphasize is that I definitely think she WAS angry with Ned at one point. In ADWD we have that moment where Bran sees his father praying to the old gods that his lady wife could find it in her heart to forgive ... and then it cuts off, but very likely he wants her to forgive him.
I slightly disagree on one point: I don't think modern society would expect Catelyn to love or mother Jon either. She would have the realistic option to divorce Ned if he forced her to live with another woman's child. The part that would change is all of Cat's fears about inheritance lines, and that she would likelier be angry with Ned for the sex itself rather than for bringing Jon home to Winterfell. So I actually think in modern times the standards for her would be even more lenient.
I don't exactly like Catelyn's resentment of Jon, but I appreciate it in the sense that I think it shows one area where Catelyn fails to rationally control every aspect of her emotions. I see her as a person who always controls her emotions and subjects them to the requirements and expectations of her society. But what we get in the story shows us the weak spot where that all breaks down: her children and to some extent her marriage. And ironically that too is because she tries to live up to her duties in a very sincere and real living breathing way. She puts her entire being into her roles as a wife and mother, because she needs them to be meaningful and fulfilling, and so her emotional "outbursts" (both in word and in deed) end up highlighting (and indicting, IMO) the standards placed on women in Westeros: to be nothing more than convenient to the patriarchy, down to every last emotion.
... Can I link this on tumblr?
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I want to read fic about this!
In ADWD we have that moment where Bran sees his father praying to the old gods that his lady wife could find it in her heart to forgive ... and then it cuts off, but very likely he wants her to forgive him.
I totally forgot about that bit, tbh. Large parts of ADWD went in one ear and out the other, as it were. haha.
I slightly disagree on one point: I don't think modern society would expect Catelyn to love or mother Jon either.
I was thinking more in terms of blended families just because Cat and Ned were total strangers when they married. Because modern Western society doesn't have arranged marriages where strangers marry and then are separated for a year, it's impossible to draw a direct analogy. So in my mind, I was seeing it as more like Ned bringing in a child from a previous relationship.
Your entire last paragraph was A++++ and I completely agree. And of course you can link to this post on tumblr! I like NEVER post public entries, but for this fandom fest, I just really wanted as many people as possible to read and discuss these fabulous characters so I made the entries public and would love it if you linked to me.
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So in my mind, I was seeing it as more like Ned bringing in a child from a previous relationship.
Right, it's just that I think that in Westeros there would be a difference if, for example, Ned had been married before and had a son with his first wife, so Catelyn would in that case have known about Jon going in to the arrangement. You're right though, no direct analogy.
I really want to participate in the fest too, for Cat and a few other women ... I'm just debating whether or not I have the time D:
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And you should participate in the fest! lol. I probably should not have the time for this, but I am totally making time. Probably not the wisest life decision, but it's fun!
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I WANT TO. BUT WHAT SHOULD I DO FOR TODAY THEN.
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For today you could just post a list of Cat-centric fic recs! That wouldn't take too much time. It's totally do-able.
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