pregnancy venting
so, i love my husband very much, and generally we have an amazing relationship. but right now, as a result of various elements, i'm kind of annoyed with him.
he's been really really involved with things at work, taking on a million projects and being asked to head up things--he's very capable, and people tend to take advantage of that. so he's been coming home late a lot, around 11pm or later, and he wakes up at 4:45 and is out the door by 6. so you can imagine how much i see him. and the thing is, all these projects are extra--so when he comes home or when i'm able to see him for a little bit, he's always thinking about the work he has to get done for his regular job. so i feel bad asking him to do stuff with me because he has work to do. it's gotten to the point where i'm buying holiday gifts for his family while he's working on stuff at the bookstore, so that we're at least in the car together.
and i'm going into my third trimester. i'm emotional. my fingers and feet are starting to swell. my brain is not functioning. it's hard to breathe at times. and so when i come home from work, i don't really want to cook or clean or anything. now, i force myself to do those things, but i start to resent the fact that he's out so much. i come home, make something for myself for dinner (or just buy something) and then have to do dishes, etc. and we've been buying gifts, but they're just piling up in the living room, so it's a mess in there. and he hasn't really been able to go shopping because he's been so busy, so while i'm pretty much done with his hanukkah gifts, he's barely begun--and i told him what to buy me because he couldn't even think of it.
and the thing is, he's normally fabulous and sweet and attentive and...so i miss that, especially now, when i want him to pay attention to me. ME. i feel selfish about that and force myself not to pick fights with him. but right now, when i know he's not going to be home till late and then doesn't really want to go shopping tomorrow because he has work to do and then he'll be out really really late tomorrow night...well, it makes me cranky. :( grrr. arrgh.
he's been really really involved with things at work, taking on a million projects and being asked to head up things--he's very capable, and people tend to take advantage of that. so he's been coming home late a lot, around 11pm or later, and he wakes up at 4:45 and is out the door by 6. so you can imagine how much i see him. and the thing is, all these projects are extra--so when he comes home or when i'm able to see him for a little bit, he's always thinking about the work he has to get done for his regular job. so i feel bad asking him to do stuff with me because he has work to do. it's gotten to the point where i'm buying holiday gifts for his family while he's working on stuff at the bookstore, so that we're at least in the car together.
and i'm going into my third trimester. i'm emotional. my fingers and feet are starting to swell. my brain is not functioning. it's hard to breathe at times. and so when i come home from work, i don't really want to cook or clean or anything. now, i force myself to do those things, but i start to resent the fact that he's out so much. i come home, make something for myself for dinner (or just buy something) and then have to do dishes, etc. and we've been buying gifts, but they're just piling up in the living room, so it's a mess in there. and he hasn't really been able to go shopping because he's been so busy, so while i'm pretty much done with his hanukkah gifts, he's barely begun--and i told him what to buy me because he couldn't even think of it.
and the thing is, he's normally fabulous and sweet and attentive and...so i miss that, especially now, when i want him to pay attention to me. ME. i feel selfish about that and force myself not to pick fights with him. but right now, when i know he's not going to be home till late and then doesn't really want to go shopping tomorrow because he has work to do and then he'll be out really really late tomorrow night...well, it makes me cranky. :( grrr. arrgh.