the goose is in dire need of some advil;
[Private to Assistant Librarians]
Listen up, minions. Everything is going to hell and - surprise - this is what I hired you lot for. Time to stop sliding by enjoying the perks of this job and actually make your sorry selves useful.
Leading us off with a fantastic bit of unsurprising scandal: Devin is in jail for suspected murder. Nicci, I'm leaving this one up to you, as I'm otherwise occupied writing her up a 'I'm Not Surprised' card. From what I hear she's crying innocence, which is a riot, but you'd best have a talk with her nonetheless. If there's anything to her story, get Charlie or Soo Min to prove it one way or another. You might need to talk to Ursa or one of our other fine Tales in Blue. And as much as I hate to suggest it, she'll probably need a lawyer. Talk to Row.
Eva, it would seem that there was further violence betwixt our resident hillbilly and the esteemed leader of our one-man security force. Straighten them out before they kill each other and we have to hire someone else to sit at Bob's desk.
King, you can take the bench on this Jones tomfoolery - the Mediterranean puts it out of your jurisdiction. Us higher ups are on the case. However, it seems that your lovely Gingerbread Witch was sitting on one of my items for a while. It's back now, but keep an eye on her, will you? I'd rather prevent Troy and Janelle from being baked and eaten. Furthermore, you are hereby charged with the responsibility of keeping Rose in line, lest I be the next one jailed for murder in the first.
Go to it, my Angels.
[/Private]
[Private to Head Librarians]
While I don't completely disavow the possibility that this is all an elaborate cover for an extended vacation, it would seem that my dear colleague is in actual trouble in the Mediterranean. Cygna informs me, in a charmingly hysterical fashion, that he's en route to Tel Aviv for sanctuary with Riva. I suppose its our duty to go fetch him, but I certainly can't with the boots. Velvet, we may need the Ebony Horse on this one. Velvet, tell your roommate that if she leaves me one more voicemail, I'm leaving him there.
And yes, I'm aware that one of my Tales is in jail. Again.
[/Private]
[Private to Rick]
Anything to get out of morning lecture, huh?
Let me know when you reach Tel Aviv. I'll send the Atheneum Taxi Service on by, and you can grade my papers for the next month in gratitude.
[/Private]
[Private to Riva]
It would seem that we may need you to take care of a particularly useless errant Tale, Miss Yisroel. Please feel free to make him work for his sanctuary, and we'll be by to fetch him as soon as possible.
[/Private]
[Private to Cygna]
Thank you for the very informative messages, Cygna. Prior to this I hadn't realized my voicemail box had a maximum capacity.
We'll bring your errant husband home. I suggest you use the interim time calming down and reconsidering your taste in men.
[/Private]
[Private to Miles]
Thank you for the message, Mister Warren. Please let the French Assistant Librarian know if you have anything further to add to the matter.
[/Private]
Listen up, minions. Everything is going to hell and - surprise - this is what I hired you lot for. Time to stop sliding by enjoying the perks of this job and actually make your sorry selves useful.
Leading us off with a fantastic bit of unsurprising scandal: Devin is in jail for suspected murder. Nicci, I'm leaving this one up to you, as I'm otherwise occupied writing her up a 'I'm Not Surprised' card. From what I hear she's crying innocence, which is a riot, but you'd best have a talk with her nonetheless. If there's anything to her story, get Charlie or Soo Min to prove it one way or another. You might need to talk to Ursa or one of our other fine Tales in Blue. And as much as I hate to suggest it, she'll probably need a lawyer. Talk to Row.
Eva, it would seem that there was further violence betwixt our resident hillbilly and the esteemed leader of our one-man security force. Straighten them out before they kill each other and we have to hire someone else to sit at Bob's desk.
King, you can take the bench on this Jones tomfoolery - the Mediterranean puts it out of your jurisdiction. Us higher ups are on the case. However, it seems that your lovely Gingerbread Witch was sitting on one of my items for a while. It's back now, but keep an eye on her, will you? I'd rather prevent Troy and Janelle from being baked and eaten. Furthermore, you are hereby charged with the responsibility of keeping Rose in line, lest I be the next one jailed for murder in the first.
Go to it, my Angels.
[/Private]
[Private to Head Librarians]
While I don't completely disavow the possibility that this is all an elaborate cover for an extended vacation, it would seem that my dear colleague is in actual trouble in the Mediterranean. Cygna informs me, in a charmingly hysterical fashion, that he's en route to Tel Aviv for sanctuary with Riva. I suppose its our duty to go fetch him, but I certainly can't with the boots. Velvet, we may need the Ebony Horse on this one. Velvet, tell your roommate that if she leaves me one more voicemail, I'm leaving him there.
And yes, I'm aware that one of my Tales is in jail. Again.
[/Private]
[Private to Rick]
Anything to get out of morning lecture, huh?
Let me know when you reach Tel Aviv. I'll send the Atheneum Taxi Service on by, and you can grade my papers for the next month in gratitude.
[/Private]
[Private to Riva]
It would seem that we may need you to take care of a particularly useless errant Tale, Miss Yisroel. Please feel free to make him work for his sanctuary, and we'll be by to fetch him as soon as possible.
[/Private]
[Private to Cygna]
Thank you for the very informative messages, Cygna. Prior to this I hadn't realized my voicemail box had a maximum capacity.
We'll bring your errant husband home. I suggest you use the interim time calming down and reconsidering your taste in men.
[/Private]
[Private to Miles]
Thank you for the message, Mister Warren. Please let the French Assistant Librarian know if you have anything further to add to the matter.
[/Private]