the need to complain
Ok, I should really be appreciating life right now. Things have really been great. Andy and I are moving along on wedding planning (slowly but surely. . . )weather has been great, I've had some quality time with friends, I've been busy and productive. . .
But right now I think that super chipper, super effective person is in complete tension with the other half of me that wants to go to sleep for months, retreat from the world, and let it all fall down.
I wanted to write in my blog but the only thing I could think was that I wanted to point out that the reason I haven't been writing in it is because I don't have time. for anything else.
I guess I just need to be honest that I've shuffled my priorities because I've added a few. I haven't created more hours in the day, just more hoops to jump through. I enjoy the exercise but sometimes I just get tired.
I want to complain at work, and I do, but I also focus my energy on getting things done, dreaming for the future, and trying to make work more fun and less stress for my co-workers (or at least I hope I do).
I want to complain at POD, and I do, but I also do my homework, participate in the trainings, and really value the time and energy I'm putting into a community resource.
I want to complain at YW:C, and I do, but I am also organizing a design team to figure out a process, to get information to decide the future of the organization. I'm keeping my cool, rolling with the punches, and expanding my areas of expertise.
I want to complain in my relationship, and I do, but I'm also learning to HEAR the feedback, apologize, experience my emotions, and return to my partner afterward (a big improvement).
I want to complain in my friendships, and I do, but I'm also learning to give honest constructive feedback and assert boundaries, to be generous and optomistic, and to love and build community.
So, you see, I'm tired, but I'm very very lucky.
I'll think about the ways in which I need to stand up for myself, take care of myself, and still hold on to hope and faith.
But right now I think that super chipper, super effective person is in complete tension with the other half of me that wants to go to sleep for months, retreat from the world, and let it all fall down.
I wanted to write in my blog but the only thing I could think was that I wanted to point out that the reason I haven't been writing in it is because I don't have time. for anything else.
I guess I just need to be honest that I've shuffled my priorities because I've added a few. I haven't created more hours in the day, just more hoops to jump through. I enjoy the exercise but sometimes I just get tired.
I want to complain at work, and I do, but I also focus my energy on getting things done, dreaming for the future, and trying to make work more fun and less stress for my co-workers (or at least I hope I do).
I want to complain at POD, and I do, but I also do my homework, participate in the trainings, and really value the time and energy I'm putting into a community resource.
I want to complain at YW:C, and I do, but I am also organizing a design team to figure out a process, to get information to decide the future of the organization. I'm keeping my cool, rolling with the punches, and expanding my areas of expertise.
I want to complain in my relationship, and I do, but I'm also learning to HEAR the feedback, apologize, experience my emotions, and return to my partner afterward (a big improvement).
I want to complain in my friendships, and I do, but I'm also learning to give honest constructive feedback and assert boundaries, to be generous and optomistic, and to love and build community.
So, you see, I'm tired, but I'm very very lucky.
I'll think about the ways in which I need to stand up for myself, take care of myself, and still hold on to hope and faith.