(no subject)
So. End of June birthday win, and all that. Got less drunk than I was that one time in school and the First Canadian Excursion, and more drunk than I got during the Second Canadian Excursion, and someone humped a lamp and someone else wore an alien hat. But dude, next time you bitch at me because you think I have a crush on your girlfriend while completely overlooking the fact that she was making out with some other girl that she used to date, I'll just say that yes, your girlfriend and I have sex ALL THE TIME, only she actually gets off when I give it to her.
Apparently I'm going back to LBN, or Albion Shithole--excuse me, College, and I will be there without Jessie unless by some miracle we decide to get an apartment together and go to Macomb. I promise to wash the dishes if you go down to the Laundromat at least once a month. Look, it'll be fine because I'll be working at Wal-Mart by then and you'll have that great job at that one restaurant with the name I can't remember. And we'll have a kickass Geo Prizm in Day-Glo Turquoise, and also a bicycle. I don't know what we're even worried about.
And this is fantastic, this cool fact. Listen: I'm leaving for California in two days. And I'll be there for eleven. And on the second day I will be riding rollercoasters until I can't feel my face from the G-force and generally hanging out with my dad's brutha from anutha mutha, who is a photographer and very cool, and has an awesome wife who is Jewish.
And about me and your girlfriend fucking in hotel bathrooms--I have too much respect for her to say any of that. But I'm still really fucking pissed off.
And did I tell you that I had to get back from fucking Ohio on a bus? No offense, and I definitely mean to sound like a douchebag, but who in their right mind voluntarily moves to Ohio?
Apparently I'm going back to LBN, or Albion Shithole--excuse me, College, and I will be there without Jessie unless by some miracle we decide to get an apartment together and go to Macomb. I promise to wash the dishes if you go down to the Laundromat at least once a month. Look, it'll be fine because I'll be working at Wal-Mart by then and you'll have that great job at that one restaurant with the name I can't remember. And we'll have a kickass Geo Prizm in Day-Glo Turquoise, and also a bicycle. I don't know what we're even worried about.
And this is fantastic, this cool fact. Listen: I'm leaving for California in two days. And I'll be there for eleven. And on the second day I will be riding rollercoasters until I can't feel my face from the G-force and generally hanging out with my dad's brutha from anutha mutha, who is a photographer and very cool, and has an awesome wife who is Jewish.
And about me and your girlfriend fucking in hotel bathrooms--I have too much respect for her to say any of that. But I'm still really fucking pissed off.
And did I tell you that I had to get back from fucking Ohio on a bus? No offense, and I definitely mean to sound like a douchebag, but who in their right mind voluntarily moves to Ohio?