Smile...part 4/?
Title: Smile
Author fate_incomplete
Character(s)/Pairing: Castiel, Dean
Rating: PG
Word Count: 380
Summary: The biggest obstacle to being happy is usually ourselves.
A/N: Written for my spn_30snapshots prompt Smile. Masterpost here: The more I understand, the further I fall.
Castiel sat in the chair next to Dean’s bed. Dean made no move to get up, simply rolled onto his back so he could look over at Castiel. The smile that had been on his lips when he first saw Castiel had faded, replaced by something far more jaded. That brief moment of peace that Castiel had felt upon seeing Dean had vanished with it, replaced by something far emptier.
It was the first time they had met since their conversation in the Impala after Sam had fallen. Silence hung between them, awkward and weary. Castiel didn’t know what to say, wasn’t sure why he was here. A moment ago it had felt so right, but now, now it was just another strained moment.
The silence finally got to Dean, “Cas what are you doing here?”
“I don’t know,” Castiel said quietly, looking out the motel window to the empty parking lot outside.
“You don’t know? What no apocalypse to start? No urgent mission, the fate of the world hanging in the balance?” Dean’s voice was cold, resentful. The words harsher then he intended, but he was too worn to bother taking them back, of easing whatever troubled thoughts had the angel’s expression so grim.
The world had been saved, but at what cost? They had lost so much. The best parts of them lay lost in the past, sacrificed on the altar of free will. The path they had chosen, would always choose, had led to the end of the apocalypse. They had chosen it freely, had fought with all they were for it, would have died, had died for it. Yet the one sacrifice they hadn’t foreseen, hadn’t prepared for, was to survive it. To have to go on in a world they had saved.
Castiel’s head slumped forward at the weight of his thoughts. He shouldn’t have come here. He was an angel, a fully powered angel again, and Dean Winchester had no place in his life for a servant of heaven, or whatever he was now.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered without looking up.
Dean’s brow knotted in confusion, a flicker of emotion passing across his face, “for what?”
Castiel looked up at Dean, his face a mask of broken pain, “I don’t know,” he whispered before vanishing.
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