If the sky can crack there must be some way back...
Class at my college started back today.
I didn’t go.
Because yesterday afternoon, as I was packing to go back,
My Mom told me there was no need.
We don’t have the money to send me back.
I have to drop out, at least for this semester.
Did you hear that noise? Eh, it wasn’t anything major. Just my world splitting in two.
I’m not telling my friends how messed up I am over this. They couldn’t handle how bad this is affecting me. They probably think I’m dumb for even being bothered by it. So I’m gonna try not to bother them with my bucket of emotional distress. They know what’s going on, but I’m staying distant. And I don't think they're gonna try to talk to me or anything. So I’m fairly sure I’ll have time to wallow. The only person on livejournal is Correy. And I don’t even think he checks it anymore. Just as well.
I’m in pieces.
I know it’s just college; I know I’m stupid for even letting it upset me.
But I feel lost.
Hopeless. Abandoned.
I feel awful.
I can’t stop crying.
I cried today when I woke up.
I cried when Slaton called.
I cried right before I took a nap.
I cried when I got in the shower.
I cried while doing the dishes.
I cried when Dad talked to me.
I cried during the broadcast.
And I’m probably gonna start crying while writing this blog.
(God, I’ve never needed you more than I need you right now.)
Because of this sudden withdraw, I have so much to do.
Paperwork. Finances. Moving. Arrangements for this and that and this.
All on my own.
My Parents aren't helping with this one bit.
I also have GOT to find a job.
I found out yesterday I had to drop out; This afternoon Dad came home and asked me if I found a job yet.
I might die here.
(Is this punishment for something I’ve done? I know I haven’t lived the best life…)
I’m scared that I’ll sit this semester out,
And time will slip away.
And I’ll never finish college.
I cannot stay here, in this puddle of a place.
I need an ocean.
If I stay here,
I’ll drown. I’ll drown.
This the loneliest I have ever felt in my entire life.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly...
I didn’t go.
Because yesterday afternoon, as I was packing to go back,
My Mom told me there was no need.
We don’t have the money to send me back.
I have to drop out, at least for this semester.
Did you hear that noise? Eh, it wasn’t anything major. Just my world splitting in two.
I’m not telling my friends how messed up I am over this. They couldn’t handle how bad this is affecting me. They probably think I’m dumb for even being bothered by it. So I’m gonna try not to bother them with my bucket of emotional distress. They know what’s going on, but I’m staying distant. And I don't think they're gonna try to talk to me or anything. So I’m fairly sure I’ll have time to wallow. The only person on livejournal is Correy. And I don’t even think he checks it anymore. Just as well.
I’m in pieces.
I know it’s just college; I know I’m stupid for even letting it upset me.
But I feel lost.
Hopeless. Abandoned.
I feel awful.
I can’t stop crying.
I cried today when I woke up.
I cried when Slaton called.
I cried right before I took a nap.
I cried when I got in the shower.
I cried while doing the dishes.
I cried when Dad talked to me.
I cried during the broadcast.
And I’m probably gonna start crying while writing this blog.
(God, I’ve never needed you more than I need you right now.)
Because of this sudden withdraw, I have so much to do.
Paperwork. Finances. Moving. Arrangements for this and that and this.
All on my own.
My Parents aren't helping with this one bit.
I also have GOT to find a job.
I found out yesterday I had to drop out; This afternoon Dad came home and asked me if I found a job yet.
I might die here.
(Is this punishment for something I’ve done? I know I haven’t lived the best life…)
I’m scared that I’ll sit this semester out,
And time will slip away.
And I’ll never finish college.
I cannot stay here, in this puddle of a place.
I need an ocean.
If I stay here,
I’ll drown. I’ll drown.
This the loneliest I have ever felt in my entire life.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly...