dreams and nightmares.
sometimes i think about how my perspective on the kind of life that i want has changed. in high school, i considered life without any type of siginificant other, determined to "maybe" adopt a child or something, and to have a cat and a cute, white and tan studio apartment in new york.
i wanted to be an architect, then a doctor, and then i went to college.
i ran away (literally) from my first chemistry test freshman year, and then i was kind of lost for most of college. i had a few moments of clarity, mostly of what i absolutely did not want to do. i liked editing for the spectrum and working at the writing place, i liked hanging out in the science building and befriending all the jewish girls.
classic rock haunted my dorm room, and carried me through rough days when i barely knew who i was and my dad was telling me i was something i knew i wasnt.
then i floated between ex- boyfriends, rather unhealthily i might add, and then i became friends with dan. we laughed all the time and i felt so much lighter around him. then dan asked me on a date, and we went to chili's and had boneless buffalo wings. that was well ovre four years ago, and here we are, in poughkeepsie, and that white and tan apartment almost seems laughable- except how i look, and what's on the wall. the rug i am sitting on has always been this sisal kind of thing, and behind me are some blueprints and sketches. none are colored in.
i am always tan and look a lot like jennifer aniston in my dream life, and i wear grey yoga pants and this hot little halter top. but my hair is really long and curly.
i found my perfect shelter dog yesterday. german shepard markings on the body, and long fluffy fur on the face. i want a dog i can run around with. i want a dog i can wrestle with and can teach crazy tricks--- but this dog was different than most "cute" dogs. her eyes were really understanding, soft and calm.
when i worked at petco, i was obsessed with what "breed" dog i would get. that's because i was surrounded by freaky dog owners who had their heads up their asses.
i dont give two craps what breed my dog is- as long as it wont hurt children or anyone's animals, and it likes people, i'm all about it.
don't worry pandora, i will find a way to rescue you from the SPCA soon. mommy loves you.
well, i should go shower my stinky ass. i just did pilates and i'm shaking all over. gotta go.
i wanted to be an architect, then a doctor, and then i went to college.
i ran away (literally) from my first chemistry test freshman year, and then i was kind of lost for most of college. i had a few moments of clarity, mostly of what i absolutely did not want to do. i liked editing for the spectrum and working at the writing place, i liked hanging out in the science building and befriending all the jewish girls.
classic rock haunted my dorm room, and carried me through rough days when i barely knew who i was and my dad was telling me i was something i knew i wasnt.
then i floated between ex- boyfriends, rather unhealthily i might add, and then i became friends with dan. we laughed all the time and i felt so much lighter around him. then dan asked me on a date, and we went to chili's and had boneless buffalo wings. that was well ovre four years ago, and here we are, in poughkeepsie, and that white and tan apartment almost seems laughable- except how i look, and what's on the wall. the rug i am sitting on has always been this sisal kind of thing, and behind me are some blueprints and sketches. none are colored in.
i am always tan and look a lot like jennifer aniston in my dream life, and i wear grey yoga pants and this hot little halter top. but my hair is really long and curly.
i found my perfect shelter dog yesterday. german shepard markings on the body, and long fluffy fur on the face. i want a dog i can run around with. i want a dog i can wrestle with and can teach crazy tricks--- but this dog was different than most "cute" dogs. her eyes were really understanding, soft and calm.
when i worked at petco, i was obsessed with what "breed" dog i would get. that's because i was surrounded by freaky dog owners who had their heads up their asses.
i dont give two craps what breed my dog is- as long as it wont hurt children or anyone's animals, and it likes people, i'm all about it.
don't worry pandora, i will find a way to rescue you from the SPCA soon. mommy loves you.
well, i should go shower my stinky ass. i just did pilates and i'm shaking all over. gotta go.