In Paris With You [1/?]
Title : In Paris With You
Fandom : SHINee
Pairing : Jongkey
Raiting : PG
Genre : Angst, Romance, AU
Summary : They were intoxicated with every touch and every kiss, lost in the intricate web of lies they wove around their secret. Somewhere they lost the answer to the very important question of why - maybe the answer was just to frightening.
A/N - Inspired by this poem.
“Let’s go to Paris.”
Jonghyun turned slowly to meet my eyes. His cigarette dangled precariously between his two fingers as he stared perturbed at me as I lay in the bed. Smoke trailed slowly upwards from its tip - dancing amongst the dust that saturated the room.
“Why?”
As he spoke a small cloud of muddy smoke escaped from his chapped lips along with a slight chuckle. The noise patronised me as it dissolved in the room’s dreary furnishings. I hadn’t expected him to comprehend my desires.
“Why not?”
I wasn’t in the mood for long explanations that would require me to define emotions to make a point, especially when the emotions and the point were not something that I myself understood either. That was the problem with my mind - nothing was clear. My life wasn’t a question of how to achieve what I wanted but rather an endless existential search to understand what it was that I wanted. Simplicity wasn’t a concept fathomable in my consciousness.
Jonghyun wouldn’t understand such things - he never did - so why even try to explain?
“Instead of Paris how about another round? Who needs romance in such a world where such notions were pointless?”
I could tell Jonghyun was about to propel himself into yet another monologue about the meaning of life and all that other bullshit he liked to ponder in his free time.
“Tired.”
My reply was short in order to try and cut his lecture short too. I rose from the thin sheets and languidly dressed myself in the clothes that had clad my body several hours previously. But that was before Jonghyun had effectively ripped them from my body in a desperate moment of unadulterated and uncontrollable lust.
It’s not like I didn’t do the same to him, he’s was just more animalistic in his manner.
I shoved my feet into my worn pair of converses. I couldn’t be bothered to go through the motions of loosening the laces just to tie them tightly once again. Exhaustion didn’t even let me consider doing so. All I wanted was to return home and soak the aches of passion out of my muscles. I never showered in the room - Jonghyun did, but I didn’t - that’s just how it works. It’s as if we know that if we stay too long in each other’s presence after the deed is done we’ll have to eventually face the question of why. Why were we doing this? Why didn’t, couldn’t we stop? Why were we willingly at each other’s beck and call despite being romantically attached to others?
Sharing fierce touches so frequently had quickly become an addiction. No other intoxication can compare to the one we share.
I grabbed my black coat from where I had earlier thrown it haphazardly and wrapped it tightly around my worn frame. I was out the door quickly and turned to close the door.
I couldn’t help but pause in my actions.
Jonghyun was sprawled meekly on the dark brown headboard dwindling smoke still in hand. The sheets were bunched up around his body as he lay slightly sunk into the unyielding mattress. The smoke billowing freely around his head seemed to follow no convection currents in the damp room, instead choosing direction on whim. This created a mystically peculiar haze around his muscular torso. His facial features were contorted into an indecipherable expression. He was thinking. When Jonghyun thought it was something he did with his entire body. He twitches his toes, twiddles his thumbs or whatever is in his hands, his eyebrows twitch every once in a while, his lips draw into a pout, his breathing slows as does his heart beat and his eyes become enveloped in an alluring darkness. It’s like he enters a trance.
Jonghyun normally never thinks.
I had stayed in our motel room too long this time.