[1st Portal] Enter the Moron

[chattersphere]

[There's a thud and a new arrival is unceremoniously dumped right in the middle of one of the lovely grassy plains.

The newcomer is quite unusual in appearance, he looks much like an over-sized beach ball made of metal with two handlebars at opposite sides. In the middle of his body is a large digital eye, complete with eyelids.

He appears to have

Comments

[soulpaths]

[Hello strange, talking, metal beach ball suddenly in the middle of this field we're wandering through.

Have an Urotsuki giving you a slight nudge with her foot rather than replying to anything you just said]

[chattersphere]

[Wheatley doesn't immediately see Urosuki and is surprised by the nudge.] What's that?

[He flips his eye around and looks her over. He seems quite confused.] Oh...you're not the brain-damaged lady, are you? Hmm, didn't think so, you don't look much like her.

It's odd though, I thought all the humans in Aperture were um...dead. Not that I'm unhappy to see you alive, on the contrary! The more humans we have, the easier it'll be to stop her.

Um...however...you don't look like a test subject. Are you the child of one of the scientists? Were you present on Take Your Daughter to Work Day? That...that didn't go too well, did it?

[soulpaths]

[Urotsuki frowns, headtilting at this. We don't know what you're talking about metal beach ball.]

[chattersphere]

[Wheatley tilts his middle eye section right back at her.] Uh...oh dear. Do...do you have brain damage as well?

Let's try what I used before on the other lady... Can you say 'Apple'? A short, nice word. An easy one. And it starts with the first letter of the alphabet! Elementary.

[soulpaths]

[Blinks, before giving the slightest nod rather than saying the word out loud--that counts as an answer, right? Of course she can say apple and other things. She just chooses not to talk a lot of the time unless she feels it's relevant.]

[chattersphere]

[Wheatley blinks back and gives her a moment.] Um...you do know that that was just a nod? Not a word. Not saying 'Apple'. I'm not sure if that's better or worse than the brain-damaged lady jumping when I asked her... She's quite a good jumper.

[soulpaths]

[She still doesn't say anything, though tempted to in order to point out that she can in fact speak, but she does look curious at the mention of the jumping lady--why would someone jump as a response to a question like that? Was it part of a game or something?]

[chattersphere]

[Your guess is as good as Wheatley's, he's got no clue why she jumped as a response and she did it twice.]

So...um...ah...I'm guessing that you were in the Relaxation Center for quite some time as well? The life support failed, but the lady with the brain damage was still alive. Stands to reason other brain damaged people made it alive as well. So that's good news. I can tell them that look! They didn't all die. Just most of them.

[soulpaths]

[Wheatley we still don't know what you're talking about. :\

But she at least headshakes in response--nope, we weren't in any "Relaxation Center" before we got here.]

[chattersphere]

[He looks surprised at this, the center of his body scooting slightly into him and his eye stares at her.]

You weren't in the Relaxation Center? Hmmm...well...oh! I know! Did you find the facility? They always said there was a chance a new civilization would pop up and people could find it and them come and test! I wonder how long it's been... I don't have a calendar function, but I do know it has been a long time since there were any living humans in the facility. Besides the brain damaged lady, of course.

[soulpaths]

[There's a slight pause as she headshakes again. We didn't find any such facility like that here, at the league, or even back home.]

[chattersphere]

You...you didn't find the facility? Then ah...how did you, and by extension me, get here? Was it a malfunctioning portal? I can see that happening. Not sure how they're created, but they just appear when you fire the gun. It's science, that's what it is.

[soulpaths]

[She gives a slight nod at the mention of a portal--she does remember going through a portal at the league with a friend, expecting to be taken back to her home...but somehow winding up here instead. :|a]

[chattersphere]

[He seems excited at this.] Oh, so it was a portal malfunction! That really is what happened!

Though, now that we know that, we need to figure out how to fix it. Do you happen to have a portal gun? I don't think so, but it never hurts to check. Never know what you could find out.

[soulpaths]

[Headshakes. Nope, no portal gun...

...However, we do have other things. Like this handy chainsaw that has now suddenly appeared in our hand. We have this instead of a gun, would it be of any help?]

[chattersphere]

[Wheatley's body rolls back somewhat at this and he looks rather frightened.] Where...where did you get that? It wasn't here a minute ago!

I'm sorry. Whatever I said, I am deeply and truly sorry.

Please don't chop me up, make replicas of me, and then put me or er...them in the room with screaming robots and make them scream forever, I'd really, really like to stay alive, and not screaming, if you don't mind.

[OOC: Sorry about the slow reply!]