(no subject)
so i had the second dream about my cousin. it was awesome. it was truly unbelievably great. it was amazing. it was strange though...because in my dream it was like my cousin had 2 lives and he already lost one but, he still has one more left. thats what i was thinking in my dream. everyone acted towards my cousin like he was normal and ok... like we have seen him everyday.
i really miss my cousin so much. its difficult to describe. everynight i go to sleep and i tell him i love him and miss him. i wake and i tell him i love him .
i think to myself... my life would be so much different if he hadnt passed. i would be driving by now.. i wouldnt understand the cautions of driving.
i would be happy... i think of the new funny stories matt would have. the progress he has made with his life...
im realizing... this is permanent. IM NEVER GOING TO SEE HIM AGAIN. it hurts to face that.
when im older.. my children arent going to know matt. my new baby cousin isnt going to know matt... he was such an amazing person. really unique.
sometimes when i see movies about someone dying or someone even being born.... i really do cry. i dont know what it is... summer is causing me to have extra time or what. but i miss him, i do. =[
i cant wait for the next dream...
about a week ago... i was at my abuelitas house.. and i was super bored so i started walking around outside. my grandpa had a greenthumb and i was just looking at all the plants he planted ,by myself.
...that night.. in my dream.. he was there.. for some reason, he was scolding me. and i was like wtf. my grandpa was always so quiet and funny.. is that really him? and he was scolding me in spanish so i have no idea was he said. that was probably the first dream i had of him. it felt good.
i really miss my cousin so much. its difficult to describe. everynight i go to sleep and i tell him i love him and miss him. i wake and i tell him i love him .
i think to myself... my life would be so much different if he hadnt passed. i would be driving by now.. i wouldnt understand the cautions of driving.
i would be happy... i think of the new funny stories matt would have. the progress he has made with his life...
im realizing... this is permanent. IM NEVER GOING TO SEE HIM AGAIN. it hurts to face that.
when im older.. my children arent going to know matt. my new baby cousin isnt going to know matt... he was such an amazing person. really unique.
sometimes when i see movies about someone dying or someone even being born.... i really do cry. i dont know what it is... summer is causing me to have extra time or what. but i miss him, i do. =[
i cant wait for the next dream...
about a week ago... i was at my abuelitas house.. and i was super bored so i started walking around outside. my grandpa had a greenthumb and i was just looking at all the plants he planted ,by myself.
...that night.. in my dream.. he was there.. for some reason, he was scolding me. and i was like wtf. my grandpa was always so quiet and funny.. is that really him? and he was scolding me in spanish so i have no idea was he said. that was probably the first dream i had of him. it felt good.