(no subject)
sometimes when i get really depressed i wonder why i am alive. obviously i would never off myself so thats not what i mean. i think about why im living and if im really doing anything with my life. i know im to young yet to really do anything so im just trying to enjoy it. really what gives me comfort is what i would consider a "religious experience". for someone not being religious in the least, i certainly got lucky. last year when my acid reflux was getting horrible i had a really weird night. i went to bed as usual, probably really upset about something. i woke up in the middle of the night because i had stopped breathing. but it was weird. it felt like my soul was outside my body and was pushed in by a gush of air. i know that sounds so weird and frankly it is. it literally felt like i had life blown back into me. sometimes i think that if that didn't happen i probably would have died because well, i wasnt breathing. i dont know what this entry is supposed to be. i just wanted to put down something that made me happy. it makes me feel like im supposed to be living. like its meant to be