Golden Globes Red Carpet
Sorry, I skipped out on the last two awards shows, darlings! I promise not to let life (or uninspiring dresses) get in the way again. Thankfully, there was a lot to talk about this time around.
Charlize Theron in Dior: People went nuts over this, and while she certainly doesn't look bad, I tend to find that color on blondes snooze-worthy (as I shall doubtless mention countless times in this post). She works it way better than most of the room, though, so I can't hate on it. 8/10
Emma Stone in Lanvin: Is killing it. I love the colors, and how the interesting belt elevates it from being a very simple dress. Her hair is gorgeous. 9/10
Evan Rachel Wood in Gucci: First things first, I have to straight up admit that she looks like a mermaid.... crossed with a bird. A merbird? But ERW is so fucking fierce I can't stand it, so she can make this look work where mere mortals fear to tread on merbird territory. I deduct a point because I wish she had a bit more color on her face, which practically matches her hair (though I think it was better on TV). She wisely keeps the bling low key. 9/10
Natalie Portman in Lanvin: Ehh, I am of two minds here. For one, I like the vinatage feel and delightful color scheme here, but I feel like the fit is less than impeccable--this woman needs to be impeccable. Overall, the feeling is that La Portman can do better--and has done so in the past. The whole here is less than the sum of parts, but it is inoffensive and she certainly looks good. 7/10
Jesslica Alba in Gucci: This color and style could read very fancy bridesmaid, but it works with her skin tone and is impeccably fitted. It's not to my taste, but the dress, makeup, hair and accessories give me no cause for complaint. 8/10
Lea Michele in Marchesa: Oh look, there's Lea Michele in Marchesa, posing like her life depends on it. Yawn. But to put aside the fact that this is all expected for her, I think the silver is nice, as is the turquoise ring. She needs to step outside her Marchesa comfort zone, though. 7/10
Sofia Vergara in Vera Wang: In a mermaid gown by Vera Wang, also very expected... but given her body shape, I can understand that she goes with the designer whose dresses always zip up right away, as she said on the RC. The color is divine, and she can pull off a mermaid, at least. I am a bit tired of the hair over one shoulder look, though, in general. 8/10
Zoeey Deschanel in custom Prada: This dress was made for her, and I think its very interesting. Yes, it looks like a Lite Brite, but it was very cute on camera and I think it fits her manic pixie dreamgirl persona while upping her game a bit for the occasion. It's hard to tell here, though, but her hair was crazy town. I like the 60s, but do they have to come back quite so literally (see also Richie, Nicole, below). 7/10
Reese Witherspoon in Zac Posen: People are going nuts over this one too, and while I appreciate the va-va-voom departure here, I think she may have have gone too far in that direction in picking Wonder Woman's red carpet dress. The super-tousled hair is a misstep as well, in my opinion. If she could dial this back a bit, she'd be golden. The color is divine, at any rate, but given shape, maybe too literally screaming Wonder Woman. Her pose even screams it--just get that woman a lasso! 5/10
Nicole Richie in Julien Macdonald: This dress is a study in how one can be body-conscious (a fashion blogger type word that I hate, but is useful here) without being tight or super revealing. The beading is gorgeous. She and Zooey D. clearly have their hair done in the same 60s salon, though--but what a waste of the power of time travel. (The hair issue on both was more apparent on TV.) Bring us back Don Draper instead! 7/10
Mila Kunis in Dior: She is a Dior model now, so I guess she had to go with that brand. This dress would be jaw-dropping chic on any number of mere mortals, but on Mila, it's a snooze. It doesn't help that she looks like she'd rather be anywhere else. She doesn't look bad, but points deducted for not trying. 6/10
Nicole Kidman in Versace: Holy crap, her bod is bangin'! She hasn't looked this good on the carpet in years. I don't even mind the lack of color. Brava! 9/10
Claire Danes in J. Mendel: The back had the real interest here--it was jaw-droppingly fierce. This was my favorite dress of the night, but I do have the quibble that the front may not fit quite so well--or maybe she needs to stand straighter. The makeup and hair were a bit edgy, which I liked with this dress. Just a smidge off being my best dressed. 10/10
Rooney Mara in Nina Ricci: All season, my favorite fashion bloggers (www.tomandlorenzo.com) have been calling her style a cross between Audrey Hepburn and a futuristic robot. I need to crib that here, since it's the best description I've seen. Like La Swinton, this girl clearly must be judged in a category of her own, fashion wise. That being said, I can't help but wish for a spot of color or at least one piece of jewelry; she's rocked the Audrey Bot look better o other occasions. My grade, therefore, measures her against herself. 7/10
Jessica Chastain in Givenchy: White and too tight--who wants to look like a pregnant pride on the carpet? Also, this girl is tiny enough that there is no earthy reason Givenchy shouldn't have been able to accommodate her size--for shame! Even aside from that, it's all kind to very sweet, and I can't help but wish she'd gone edgier. 4/10
Sarah Michelle Gellar in Monique Lhuillier: Print on the carpet--huzzah! I realize it will not be to everyone's taste, but I like it. It is a smidge too puffy, though. Also, the hair is kind of prom-ish and not really anything current. But overall, she looks great. 7/10 Edit: I will let the original grade stand, but looking at this later on Fashion Police, I think she's too short to fully pull it off.
Frida Pinto in Prada: Gorgeous color, but this is rather stiff and too high-waisted. If she wore this color in something that skimmed her body, she'd definitely be on the best dressed list. As it is, she's one of the better entries in the middle pack. 6/10
Kate Winslet in Jenny Packham: Oh, Kate, this is just wrong. She missteps enough that I surmise that she finds her body hard to dress in these couture gowns. That's a shame, because she is beautiful. The top could be interesting under other circumstances, but the white bottom does nothing for her. Also, she has the monochrome face thing that I noticed on tons of people this year, but I think this color scheme cries out for a red lip (see Danes, Claire). 4/10
Sarah Hyland in Dolce and Gabbana: More of the beige I hate, but she's a brunette, and this is sweet and sophisticated for someone her age (which is about 20, older than she looks), so I let it pass. I feel like she could be a real red carpet contender if she grows into a style that is slightly more edgy or sophisticated, though. I shall watch her progress with interest. 8/10
Jessica Biel in Elie Saab: I can't even. Miss Havisham on her wedding day. 2/10
Salma Hayek in Gucci: This is kind of fab, but too short-waisted for her proportions, maybe? Something is off with the proportions, anyway. I appreciate the general idea, though. 7/10
Piper Peribo in Theory by Theyskens: I'd love to applaud her for going with something so cerebral and couture, but the color is dull (I've seen the phrase "dirty dishwater" used to describe the shade), and in other shots was see-through in every possible way. Way to go for being both titillating and dull, I guess? 1/10
Kelly Osbourne in Zac Posen: The shoulder detail is cleverly chosen, since she was seen from the waist up only for the most part on TV. She takes risks, and they don't always pay off. I think this may be a bit too old for her, though the lovely color mirrors the light blue that the front of her hair is. Nice effort, though. 6/10
Viola Davis in Emilio Pucci: Okay, she's from my hometown, and knew my mom and aunt, so I may be biased, but YOU WORK THAT FIERCE RED CARPET SHIT, GIRL. Central Falls, represent! Her hair and makeup have been perfect of late, and continue to be so here. The color is lovely against her skin, and her accessories well chosen. No complaints, really. 10/10
Heidi Klum in Calvin Klein: As puzzling as many of her past choices. Dull, except for that turquoise jewelry, which doesn't fit at all--her own design? Even so, she should have chosen black or purple or something if she wanted to use it. The lack of waist does her fabulous body no favors. 4/10
Julianna Margulies in Naeem Khan: Love the color, love the green jewelry with that color. This is a slightly unusual choice, which I always applaud. My only reservation is that, while flattering from this angle, from the front I felt she needed more waist definition. 8/10
Debra Messing in Monique Lhuillier: This is vintage Messing--she's always favored these grande dame looks, and I can't say it doesn't work for her. I haven't seen her on the carpet in a while, and she looks good, so I will let the expectedness of it all pass for now. 7/10
Stacy Keibler: The red is pretty, and just understated enough for a nominee's date who is less famous than... who am I kidding? She has the best arm candy in the room (Colin Firth excepted). May she enjoy him while it lasts. 8/10/
Mireille Enos in Naeem Khan: She's such a plain jane on The Killing that it's almost a surprise to see her dress up so well. But honey, back away from the yellow. This dress in, say, purple, and the same styling, and it would have been a slam dunk. 5/10
Ariel Winter in Dolce and Gabbana: If D&G made prom dresses, this would be in great demand. That is not a knock, since the actress is only 14. She looks very pretty and age appropriate without being twee. 8/10
Giuliana Rancic, x2: The dress o the left is okay, but the tortured fabric on the one on the right makes me want to cry. Since she is going through a breast cancer scare, I will refrain from grading.
Amanda Peet in Marc Jacobs: I have heard of using mama's curtains to make a dres, thanks to Scarlett O'Hara, but mama's dust ruffles? From Marc Jacobs, of all people. Say it ain't so! 2/10
Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji: I am not in love with the color, but it's not awful on her, and the ensemble is glam enough to elevate it out of spring bridesmaid territory. Note: this is how to dress a real woman's body on the RC, which is not achieved well enough often enough (see McCarthy, Melissa). 9/10
Katharine McPhee: Nude again, but the tea length and vaguely 20s vibe make it kind of okay. Inoffensive. 7/10
Melissa McCarthy in Badgley Mischka: The designers made the whole ensemble for her, but, well.... this moss color is ill-chosen, to start with. She is such an exuberan, funny actress and the color, while not as terrible on her as it could be, does not bring out that quality. The whole silhouette screams that she, or someone dressing her, was afraid of her size rather than embracing it (see Spencer, Octavia or Latifah, Queen). And though it was made for her, there is distracting bunching on the sleeves. She looks good from the neck up, though. 3/10
Jane Lynch in David Meister: Looks like Jane Lynch. 5/10
Helen Mirren: Bow the fuck down, people! She doesn't look a day over 40 here. 9/10
Mary J. Blige in Michael Kors: The feathers are a nice touch, but she could be so much more daring. And, as Tom and Lorenzo point out on their blog, this resembles many choices she's made recently. It's all a bit monochrome. 5/10
Tilda Swinton in Haider Ackermann: There is no grade for Tilda Swinton. There is no one to measure her against. She lives on her own fashion planet and occasionally deigns to come visit us peons on Earth to show us her advanced fabulosity.
Busy Phillips: Both beige (on a blonde) and a tent? Busy could do better. 4/10
Maya Rudolph in David Meister: This looked better on TV--like a Jason Wu dress that Michelle Obama might wear. Not to daring, but inoffensive (and she is post-baby); I like the shocking pink lipstick and the cuff, which keep it from being boring. 7/10
Paula Patton in Monique Lhuillier: When did Big Bird yellow become a thing? Aside from the color, the dress is very standard ML--make it white, and you have a bridal gown. Which is okay. She worked this color better than anyone else who tried it (and the fact that she looked like she was high while posing won't figure into my grade, but WHAT was she on? And how does it convince people this color is a good idea?) 7/10
Jodie Foster: This looked great on TV. The froofy-ness about her waist may not be the best idea, but I like the color on her, and her hair and makeup make it look like she stopped aging about five years ago (ie, both are fab). 8/10
Laura Dern in Andrew Gn: This green works on her, and the sequins and shape are great. The belt is in a weird spot, though, and her face needs more color to stand up to the bold jewel tone of the dress. 7/10
Madonna in Reem Acra and Andrea Riseborough in Vivienne Westwood: Ah, Madonna and her hand puppet. Madge looks good here, despite her weird recent glove fetish and the fact that it's too tight on top. I know you're into bondage, but let the girls breathe a bit before you bruise (again, hard to tell here how tight it was, but trust me). The weirdness of Vivienne Westwood looks good on the puppet, I think, but I wish I'd seen her own her own 7/10 overall.
Kate Beckinsale in Roberto Cavalli: Oh, Kate, you can take a dress that usually would bore me to tears and still look smashing. How do you do it? Maybe I am just looking at you, not the dress, but I can't fault any of it. 9/10
Tina Fey in Oscar de la Renta: First off, yay color!!! Keep it up, Tina. This looked more maroon than the fuchsia we have here--maroon was better. This came off better on TV and is a big step in the right direction for her.. 7/10
Rainey Qualley: I don't know who this ludicrously-named girl is, and I didn't see this on TV, but this dress is hot on her: impeccable and brings out her eyes. 9/10
Diane Lane in Reem Acra: Ladies, this is how you bring the Old Hollywood glamour. 9/10
Dianna Agron in Giles Deacon: I guess no one told her or the designer than swans are so LAST year. Maybe just the top of the dress would work with this startling laser-cut design, but the tiered bottom makes it all too much. She gives good face, though. 4/10
Elle MacPherson in Zac Posen: First of all, she looks amazing. And yeah, she's a blonde in that boring color, but I could maybe forgive if there were not to strips of fabric on top. They are distracting when she should just be calling attention to how good she looks. 6/10
Emily Watson in Armani: Next. 1/10
Meryl Streep in Allesandra Rich: Annie Get Your Golden Globe. 1/10
Michelle Williams in Jason Wu: How interesting in a covered up way. I know she tends towards twee, but the headband is a step too far, in my opinion, and something is missing. 6/10
Naya Rivera in Vera Wang: Bad color and shape, and it puckers at that very prominent seam. Great makeup is all I can say, really, in her favor. 3/10
Amber Riley in Badgley Mischa: She's handily winning the battle of the Glee girls. Red hot. 9/10
Angelina Jolie in Versace: Fashion bloggers (even me) always bemoan how she'd be killing it if she'd just bother to wear a color or something tailored to her frankly unread body. Well, we finally got our wish--and she's even wearing a red lip! If it weren't for her natural edginess this could be a bit too Valentine's Day, but as it is, I must proclaim her Best Dressed. Not because it's way better than her past outfits, though it is, but because her natural potential, when lived up to, just surpasses that of mere mortals. Look, it's shiny and white but still flattering on her--no one else on earth could pull this off nearly so well. The matchy shoe is but a mere quibble because, well, who the hell is looking at her feet? 10/10
Glenn Close in Armani: For her, this is pretty good, but why cant that ruffle along the top extend to hide her armpits? Nice earrings. 5/10
Jessica Lange in J. Mendel: A classic case of trying to dress age-appropriately and missing the mark. They can't all be Helen Mirren, but this was ill fitting on TV, and the cutout o her back, if you saw it, was vastly unflattering. Maybe Helen could offer some tips on looking hot in flattering dresses? 1/10
Julie Bowen in Reem Acra: She said on TV that she wanted to look more feminine, but did she need to go the full Betty Draper? The color is blah to me as usual, but a red lip might have made me happier about it. 6/10
Madeleine Stowe in Vera Wang: First of all, love her on Revenge, and love this color on her. It pulls a bit across the skirt, though, and I have the sneaking suspicion I might not have liked the detail on the train if I'd seen it more clearly . 7/10
Morena Baccarin in Edition by Georges Chakra: She has been every geek's dream girl since Firefly, and she's smokin' here. I like the pop of color the bag provides. 9/10/
Amy Poehler in Naeem Khan: Looks good, for her. More waist definition is called for. I am tired about bitching about this color on blondes, so assume it bugs me unless I say otherwise. 5/10
Connie Britton: I guess she doesn't ave a stylist and went with a vintage dress? I sympathize with this, but she could at least have chosen something more formal off the rack. This looks like she's ready for a PTA tea party. 3/10
Julianne Moore: Don't love the shape, but this is prettier and more elegant than her more recent choices. The earrings were to die for, too. 7/10
Kelly MacDonald in Lorena Sabu: This would be fabulous, but it's crying out for some more bling. She also may need some gentle coaching on posture and red carpet posing. 7/10
Penelope Ann Miller in Pamella Roland: I think the dress is very pretty in both shape and color, but the styling is very standard when it needs more oomph to set off the relative simplicity of the dress. 6/10
Shailene Woodley in Marchesa: Colorless, but she is young and fresh enough to pull that off. Surprisingly simple, pretty dress, for a Marchesa. 8/10
Shailene Woodley in Marchesa: Colorless, but she is young and fresh enough to pull that off. Surprisingly simple, pretty dress, for a Marchesa. 8/10
I also saw Felicty and Huffman and Queen Latifah look very good on TV, but didn't find pictures. Finally, some eye candy:
Sigh.
Charlize Theron in Dior: People went nuts over this, and while she certainly doesn't look bad, I tend to find that color on blondes snooze-worthy (as I shall doubtless mention countless times in this post). She works it way better than most of the room, though, so I can't hate on it. 8/10
Emma Stone in Lanvin: Is killing it. I love the colors, and how the interesting belt elevates it from being a very simple dress. Her hair is gorgeous. 9/10
Evan Rachel Wood in Gucci: First things first, I have to straight up admit that she looks like a mermaid.... crossed with a bird. A merbird? But ERW is so fucking fierce I can't stand it, so she can make this look work where mere mortals fear to tread on merbird territory. I deduct a point because I wish she had a bit more color on her face, which practically matches her hair (though I think it was better on TV). She wisely keeps the bling low key. 9/10
Natalie Portman in Lanvin: Ehh, I am of two minds here. For one, I like the vinatage feel and delightful color scheme here, but I feel like the fit is less than impeccable--this woman needs to be impeccable. Overall, the feeling is that La Portman can do better--and has done so in the past. The whole here is less than the sum of parts, but it is inoffensive and she certainly looks good. 7/10
Jesslica Alba in Gucci: This color and style could read very fancy bridesmaid, but it works with her skin tone and is impeccably fitted. It's not to my taste, but the dress, makeup, hair and accessories give me no cause for complaint. 8/10
Lea Michele in Marchesa: Oh look, there's Lea Michele in Marchesa, posing like her life depends on it. Yawn. But to put aside the fact that this is all expected for her, I think the silver is nice, as is the turquoise ring. She needs to step outside her Marchesa comfort zone, though. 7/10
Sofia Vergara in Vera Wang: In a mermaid gown by Vera Wang, also very expected... but given her body shape, I can understand that she goes with the designer whose dresses always zip up right away, as she said on the RC. The color is divine, and she can pull off a mermaid, at least. I am a bit tired of the hair over one shoulder look, though, in general. 8/10
Zoeey Deschanel in custom Prada: This dress was made for her, and I think its very interesting. Yes, it looks like a Lite Brite, but it was very cute on camera and I think it fits her manic pixie dreamgirl persona while upping her game a bit for the occasion. It's hard to tell here, though, but her hair was crazy town. I like the 60s, but do they have to come back quite so literally (see also Richie, Nicole, below). 7/10
Reese Witherspoon in Zac Posen: People are going nuts over this one too, and while I appreciate the va-va-voom departure here, I think she may have have gone too far in that direction in picking Wonder Woman's red carpet dress. The super-tousled hair is a misstep as well, in my opinion. If she could dial this back a bit, she'd be golden. The color is divine, at any rate, but given shape, maybe too literally screaming Wonder Woman. Her pose even screams it--just get that woman a lasso! 5/10
Nicole Richie in Julien Macdonald: This dress is a study in how one can be body-conscious (a fashion blogger type word that I hate, but is useful here) without being tight or super revealing. The beading is gorgeous. She and Zooey D. clearly have their hair done in the same 60s salon, though--but what a waste of the power of time travel. (The hair issue on both was more apparent on TV.) Bring us back Don Draper instead! 7/10
Mila Kunis in Dior: She is a Dior model now, so I guess she had to go with that brand. This dress would be jaw-dropping chic on any number of mere mortals, but on Mila, it's a snooze. It doesn't help that she looks like she'd rather be anywhere else. She doesn't look bad, but points deducted for not trying. 6/10
Nicole Kidman in Versace: Holy crap, her bod is bangin'! She hasn't looked this good on the carpet in years. I don't even mind the lack of color. Brava! 9/10
Claire Danes in J. Mendel: The back had the real interest here--it was jaw-droppingly fierce. This was my favorite dress of the night, but I do have the quibble that the front may not fit quite so well--or maybe she needs to stand straighter. The makeup and hair were a bit edgy, which I liked with this dress. Just a smidge off being my best dressed. 10/10
Rooney Mara in Nina Ricci: All season, my favorite fashion bloggers (www.tomandlorenzo.com) have been calling her style a cross between Audrey Hepburn and a futuristic robot. I need to crib that here, since it's the best description I've seen. Like La Swinton, this girl clearly must be judged in a category of her own, fashion wise. That being said, I can't help but wish for a spot of color or at least one piece of jewelry; she's rocked the Audrey Bot look better o other occasions. My grade, therefore, measures her against herself. 7/10
Jessica Chastain in Givenchy: White and too tight--who wants to look like a pregnant pride on the carpet? Also, this girl is tiny enough that there is no earthy reason Givenchy shouldn't have been able to accommodate her size--for shame! Even aside from that, it's all kind to very sweet, and I can't help but wish she'd gone edgier. 4/10
Sarah Michelle Gellar in Monique Lhuillier: Print on the carpet--huzzah! I realize it will not be to everyone's taste, but I like it. It is a smidge too puffy, though. Also, the hair is kind of prom-ish and not really anything current. But overall, she looks great. 7/10 Edit: I will let the original grade stand, but looking at this later on Fashion Police, I think she's too short to fully pull it off.
Frida Pinto in Prada: Gorgeous color, but this is rather stiff and too high-waisted. If she wore this color in something that skimmed her body, she'd definitely be on the best dressed list. As it is, she's one of the better entries in the middle pack. 6/10
Kate Winslet in Jenny Packham: Oh, Kate, this is just wrong. She missteps enough that I surmise that she finds her body hard to dress in these couture gowns. That's a shame, because she is beautiful. The top could be interesting under other circumstances, but the white bottom does nothing for her. Also, she has the monochrome face thing that I noticed on tons of people this year, but I think this color scheme cries out for a red lip (see Danes, Claire). 4/10
Sarah Hyland in Dolce and Gabbana: More of the beige I hate, but she's a brunette, and this is sweet and sophisticated for someone her age (which is about 20, older than she looks), so I let it pass. I feel like she could be a real red carpet contender if she grows into a style that is slightly more edgy or sophisticated, though. I shall watch her progress with interest. 8/10
Jessica Biel in Elie Saab: I can't even. Miss Havisham on her wedding day. 2/10
Salma Hayek in Gucci: This is kind of fab, but too short-waisted for her proportions, maybe? Something is off with the proportions, anyway. I appreciate the general idea, though. 7/10
Piper Peribo in Theory by Theyskens: I'd love to applaud her for going with something so cerebral and couture, but the color is dull (I've seen the phrase "dirty dishwater" used to describe the shade), and in other shots was see-through in every possible way. Way to go for being both titillating and dull, I guess? 1/10
Kelly Osbourne in Zac Posen: The shoulder detail is cleverly chosen, since she was seen from the waist up only for the most part on TV. She takes risks, and they don't always pay off. I think this may be a bit too old for her, though the lovely color mirrors the light blue that the front of her hair is. Nice effort, though. 6/10
Viola Davis in Emilio Pucci: Okay, she's from my hometown, and knew my mom and aunt, so I may be biased, but YOU WORK THAT FIERCE RED CARPET SHIT, GIRL. Central Falls, represent! Her hair and makeup have been perfect of late, and continue to be so here. The color is lovely against her skin, and her accessories well chosen. No complaints, really. 10/10
Heidi Klum in Calvin Klein: As puzzling as many of her past choices. Dull, except for that turquoise jewelry, which doesn't fit at all--her own design? Even so, she should have chosen black or purple or something if she wanted to use it. The lack of waist does her fabulous body no favors. 4/10
Julianna Margulies in Naeem Khan: Love the color, love the green jewelry with that color. This is a slightly unusual choice, which I always applaud. My only reservation is that, while flattering from this angle, from the front I felt she needed more waist definition. 8/10
Debra Messing in Monique Lhuillier: This is vintage Messing--she's always favored these grande dame looks, and I can't say it doesn't work for her. I haven't seen her on the carpet in a while, and she looks good, so I will let the expectedness of it all pass for now. 7/10
Stacy Keibler: The red is pretty, and just understated enough for a nominee's date who is less famous than... who am I kidding? She has the best arm candy in the room (Colin Firth excepted). May she enjoy him while it lasts. 8/10/
Mireille Enos in Naeem Khan: She's such a plain jane on The Killing that it's almost a surprise to see her dress up so well. But honey, back away from the yellow. This dress in, say, purple, and the same styling, and it would have been a slam dunk. 5/10
Ariel Winter in Dolce and Gabbana: If D&G made prom dresses, this would be in great demand. That is not a knock, since the actress is only 14. She looks very pretty and age appropriate without being twee. 8/10
Giuliana Rancic, x2: The dress o the left is okay, but the tortured fabric on the one on the right makes me want to cry. Since she is going through a breast cancer scare, I will refrain from grading.
Amanda Peet in Marc Jacobs: I have heard of using mama's curtains to make a dres, thanks to Scarlett O'Hara, but mama's dust ruffles? From Marc Jacobs, of all people. Say it ain't so! 2/10
Octavia Spencer in Tadashi Shoji: I am not in love with the color, but it's not awful on her, and the ensemble is glam enough to elevate it out of spring bridesmaid territory. Note: this is how to dress a real woman's body on the RC, which is not achieved well enough often enough (see McCarthy, Melissa). 9/10
Katharine McPhee: Nude again, but the tea length and vaguely 20s vibe make it kind of okay. Inoffensive. 7/10
Melissa McCarthy in Badgley Mischka: The designers made the whole ensemble for her, but, well.... this moss color is ill-chosen, to start with. She is such an exuberan, funny actress and the color, while not as terrible on her as it could be, does not bring out that quality. The whole silhouette screams that she, or someone dressing her, was afraid of her size rather than embracing it (see Spencer, Octavia or Latifah, Queen). And though it was made for her, there is distracting bunching on the sleeves. She looks good from the neck up, though. 3/10
Jane Lynch in David Meister: Looks like Jane Lynch. 5/10
Helen Mirren: Bow the fuck down, people! She doesn't look a day over 40 here. 9/10
Mary J. Blige in Michael Kors: The feathers are a nice touch, but she could be so much more daring. And, as Tom and Lorenzo point out on their blog, this resembles many choices she's made recently. It's all a bit monochrome. 5/10
Tilda Swinton in Haider Ackermann: There is no grade for Tilda Swinton. There is no one to measure her against. She lives on her own fashion planet and occasionally deigns to come visit us peons on Earth to show us her advanced fabulosity.
Busy Phillips: Both beige (on a blonde) and a tent? Busy could do better. 4/10
Maya Rudolph in David Meister: This looked better on TV--like a Jason Wu dress that Michelle Obama might wear. Not to daring, but inoffensive (and she is post-baby); I like the shocking pink lipstick and the cuff, which keep it from being boring. 7/10
Paula Patton in Monique Lhuillier: When did Big Bird yellow become a thing? Aside from the color, the dress is very standard ML--make it white, and you have a bridal gown. Which is okay. She worked this color better than anyone else who tried it (and the fact that she looked like she was high while posing won't figure into my grade, but WHAT was she on? And how does it convince people this color is a good idea?) 7/10
Jodie Foster: This looked great on TV. The froofy-ness about her waist may not be the best idea, but I like the color on her, and her hair and makeup make it look like she stopped aging about five years ago (ie, both are fab). 8/10
Laura Dern in Andrew Gn: This green works on her, and the sequins and shape are great. The belt is in a weird spot, though, and her face needs more color to stand up to the bold jewel tone of the dress. 7/10
Madonna in Reem Acra and Andrea Riseborough in Vivienne Westwood: Ah, Madonna and her hand puppet. Madge looks good here, despite her weird recent glove fetish and the fact that it's too tight on top. I know you're into bondage, but let the girls breathe a bit before you bruise (again, hard to tell here how tight it was, but trust me). The weirdness of Vivienne Westwood looks good on the puppet, I think, but I wish I'd seen her own her own 7/10 overall.
Kate Beckinsale in Roberto Cavalli: Oh, Kate, you can take a dress that usually would bore me to tears and still look smashing. How do you do it? Maybe I am just looking at you, not the dress, but I can't fault any of it. 9/10
Tina Fey in Oscar de la Renta: First off, yay color!!! Keep it up, Tina. This looked more maroon than the fuchsia we have here--maroon was better. This came off better on TV and is a big step in the right direction for her.. 7/10
Rainey Qualley: I don't know who this ludicrously-named girl is, and I didn't see this on TV, but this dress is hot on her: impeccable and brings out her eyes. 9/10
Diane Lane in Reem Acra: Ladies, this is how you bring the Old Hollywood glamour. 9/10
Dianna Agron in Giles Deacon: I guess no one told her or the designer than swans are so LAST year. Maybe just the top of the dress would work with this startling laser-cut design, but the tiered bottom makes it all too much. She gives good face, though. 4/10
Elle MacPherson in Zac Posen: First of all, she looks amazing. And yeah, she's a blonde in that boring color, but I could maybe forgive if there were not to strips of fabric on top. They are distracting when she should just be calling attention to how good she looks. 6/10
Emily Watson in Armani: Next. 1/10
Meryl Streep in Allesandra Rich: Annie Get Your Golden Globe. 1/10
Michelle Williams in Jason Wu: How interesting in a covered up way. I know she tends towards twee, but the headband is a step too far, in my opinion, and something is missing. 6/10
Naya Rivera in Vera Wang: Bad color and shape, and it puckers at that very prominent seam. Great makeup is all I can say, really, in her favor. 3/10
Amber Riley in Badgley Mischa: She's handily winning the battle of the Glee girls. Red hot. 9/10
Angelina Jolie in Versace: Fashion bloggers (even me) always bemoan how she'd be killing it if she'd just bother to wear a color or something tailored to her frankly unread body. Well, we finally got our wish--and she's even wearing a red lip! If it weren't for her natural edginess this could be a bit too Valentine's Day, but as it is, I must proclaim her Best Dressed. Not because it's way better than her past outfits, though it is, but because her natural potential, when lived up to, just surpasses that of mere mortals. Look, it's shiny and white but still flattering on her--no one else on earth could pull this off nearly so well. The matchy shoe is but a mere quibble because, well, who the hell is looking at her feet? 10/10
Glenn Close in Armani: For her, this is pretty good, but why cant that ruffle along the top extend to hide her armpits? Nice earrings. 5/10
Jessica Lange in J. Mendel: A classic case of trying to dress age-appropriately and missing the mark. They can't all be Helen Mirren, but this was ill fitting on TV, and the cutout o her back, if you saw it, was vastly unflattering. Maybe Helen could offer some tips on looking hot in flattering dresses? 1/10
Julie Bowen in Reem Acra: She said on TV that she wanted to look more feminine, but did she need to go the full Betty Draper? The color is blah to me as usual, but a red lip might have made me happier about it. 6/10
Madeleine Stowe in Vera Wang: First of all, love her on Revenge, and love this color on her. It pulls a bit across the skirt, though, and I have the sneaking suspicion I might not have liked the detail on the train if I'd seen it more clearly . 7/10
Morena Baccarin in Edition by Georges Chakra: She has been every geek's dream girl since Firefly, and she's smokin' here. I like the pop of color the bag provides. 9/10/
Amy Poehler in Naeem Khan: Looks good, for her. More waist definition is called for. I am tired about bitching about this color on blondes, so assume it bugs me unless I say otherwise. 5/10
Connie Britton: I guess she doesn't ave a stylist and went with a vintage dress? I sympathize with this, but she could at least have chosen something more formal off the rack. This looks like she's ready for a PTA tea party. 3/10
Julianne Moore: Don't love the shape, but this is prettier and more elegant than her more recent choices. The earrings were to die for, too. 7/10
Kelly MacDonald in Lorena Sabu: This would be fabulous, but it's crying out for some more bling. She also may need some gentle coaching on posture and red carpet posing. 7/10
Penelope Ann Miller in Pamella Roland: I think the dress is very pretty in both shape and color, but the styling is very standard when it needs more oomph to set off the relative simplicity of the dress. 6/10
Shailene Woodley in Marchesa: Colorless, but she is young and fresh enough to pull that off. Surprisingly simple, pretty dress, for a Marchesa. 8/10
Shailene Woodley in Marchesa: Colorless, but she is young and fresh enough to pull that off. Surprisingly simple, pretty dress, for a Marchesa. 8/10
I also saw Felicty and Huffman and Queen Latifah look very good on TV, but didn't find pictures. Finally, some eye candy:
Sigh.