lets see here, i bet you can guess...
YEP, I FUcking relapsed. AGAIN.. I Bet you are all sick of hearing that, NOBODy rEADS THIS BUT ME ANyway.
so, this is how it went down this time...
I GOt out of jail, and was blessed to be at GOD TOUCH Milwaukee. I Think I wrote about that, If i didnt, I will post an update.
ANYWAY
SO, Nicci, a girl I had been pining over for like, five years, and talking to online for that whole time, without meeting in person, decide to have a baby together. crazy right?
she ends up being a PSYCHOPATH legit. no exaggeration, her parents confirmed it, crazy as hell psychopath with no empathy, at all. so, WE get high together one day, and I fucking go buck wild again, Like I do every single time I Get clean time and think I Can get high one time.
so , I spiral out of control, within two months I Lose my job... I turn into the biggest piece of shit I have ever been. I Start stealing DVDs from My roommate, NOT a lot of them, but I Did take like 5 box sets.. IN My addicted Mind, I Thought, Ill get a job in less than a Month,, AND I will replace them before he notices.. We had lived together for half a year at this point, and only once did I see him go through the Dvds... but, low and behold, he does, confronts me, Straight up demands that I Give him my keys, and that is that, I am out on the street. I live in my car for a few days. I crawl back to my brothers.. Matthew will not have me, but James allows it. . we compromise on me only being allowed in the apartment when someone is home, otherwise, I live in the basement. SUCKS SO BAD>but I roll with it... come Halloween I Get a job, my dumb ass after a month of being stone sober, decides to call the dope man. way in over myy head again, 4 more months of every penny going in my arm. oh, and this time, I discover the wonderful world of CRACK COCCAINE> I dabbled this summer, but never got into it... well, now I'm fucking into it... and man oh man, does that combination turn me into a PIECE OF MONKEY SHIT.like for real I will not go into detail, but shit.SO I come to a crossroad, I either quit OR live on the street. SO I QUIT. and MATTHEW Say I have to live on the street anyway... James does not go for this, one bit. so I find myself again, living in the basement while they work. this time, though, I am only allowed in the house when James is... MATTHEW NEVER LETS ME. no matter how cold it is down there. its often FREEZING> no exaggeration, like water is ice freezing. I have two winter blankets and wear a winter coat and ITS SO COLD I CANT SLEEP. it is fucking torture, but MATTHEW DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK. thank god winter is almost over, now.. we are putting up a piece of wood, to separate the apartment. thank god. ALSO I Am torn between moving to APPLETON and staying here. leaning towards moving. I have so many wonderful friends. want to pay for me to move.I do not know what to do. as for aspirations, I Feel like I have a trend here, I relapse and have a grand fucking idea that I AM SO GOING TO DO and then never do. I will list it, but WHO FUCKING KNOWS. I never do what I Wamt. because DRUGS lets see if I DO. oh, I am in college, I am doing ok .
OK SO DREAM BUILD
electric assisted vellomobile.
DIY recumbent bicycle, 2 in front, one in back,
DIY battery bank, 18650 laptop cells, 48v bank, I hope 100amp hours.
FIBER glass and CARBON FIBER body, foam composite.
in theory, 25mph, 100 mile range, no pedaling, 200 miles or more with pedaling, 40 mile range. SO GOOD! ( in ben and wade voice! )
so, this is how it went down this time...
I GOt out of jail, and was blessed to be at GOD TOUCH Milwaukee. I Think I wrote about that, If i didnt, I will post an update.
ANYWAY
SO, Nicci, a girl I had been pining over for like, five years, and talking to online for that whole time, without meeting in person, decide to have a baby together. crazy right?
she ends up being a PSYCHOPATH legit. no exaggeration, her parents confirmed it, crazy as hell psychopath with no empathy, at all. so, WE get high together one day, and I fucking go buck wild again, Like I do every single time I Get clean time and think I Can get high one time.
so , I spiral out of control, within two months I Lose my job... I turn into the biggest piece of shit I have ever been. I Start stealing DVDs from My roommate, NOT a lot of them, but I Did take like 5 box sets.. IN My addicted Mind, I Thought, Ill get a job in less than a Month,, AND I will replace them before he notices.. We had lived together for half a year at this point, and only once did I see him go through the Dvds... but, low and behold, he does, confronts me, Straight up demands that I Give him my keys, and that is that, I am out on the street. I live in my car for a few days. I crawl back to my brothers.. Matthew will not have me, but James allows it. . we compromise on me only being allowed in the apartment when someone is home, otherwise, I live in the basement. SUCKS SO BAD>but I roll with it... come Halloween I Get a job, my dumb ass after a month of being stone sober, decides to call the dope man. way in over myy head again, 4 more months of every penny going in my arm. oh, and this time, I discover the wonderful world of CRACK COCCAINE> I dabbled this summer, but never got into it... well, now I'm fucking into it... and man oh man, does that combination turn me into a PIECE OF MONKEY SHIT.like for real I will not go into detail, but shit.SO I come to a crossroad, I either quit OR live on the street. SO I QUIT. and MATTHEW Say I have to live on the street anyway... James does not go for this, one bit. so I find myself again, living in the basement while they work. this time, though, I am only allowed in the house when James is... MATTHEW NEVER LETS ME. no matter how cold it is down there. its often FREEZING> no exaggeration, like water is ice freezing. I have two winter blankets and wear a winter coat and ITS SO COLD I CANT SLEEP. it is fucking torture, but MATTHEW DOES NOT GIVE A FUCK. thank god winter is almost over, now.. we are putting up a piece of wood, to separate the apartment. thank god. ALSO I Am torn between moving to APPLETON and staying here. leaning towards moving. I have so many wonderful friends. want to pay for me to move.I do not know what to do. as for aspirations, I Feel like I have a trend here, I relapse and have a grand fucking idea that I AM SO GOING TO DO and then never do. I will list it, but WHO FUCKING KNOWS. I never do what I Wamt. because DRUGS lets see if I DO. oh, I am in college, I am doing ok .
OK SO DREAM BUILD
electric assisted vellomobile.
DIY recumbent bicycle, 2 in front, one in back,
DIY battery bank, 18650 laptop cells, 48v bank, I hope 100amp hours.
FIBER glass and CARBON FIBER body, foam composite.
in theory, 25mph, 100 mile range, no pedaling, 200 miles or more with pedaling, 40 mile range. SO GOOD! ( in ben and wade voice! )